Saturday, May 13, 2017

Musings - Trivial Triggers

'The more trivial the trigger, the deeper the root cause'

Many a time we hear of (or are part of)  an argument or disagreement which got triggered over the most trivial of issues. One which started over something small and maybe even silly, and went on to more angry or emotional space...maybe even become a fight. This will more often than not be in our closest relationships....between partners, or spouse, or siblings.

And the narration will often sound like 'actually I don't even know how it started, but it just got so ugly'..... 'it was a stupid reason, don't know why I lost it like that' ........'can't even recall what it was, but I was so upset'  and so on and so forth.

And quite often we come out feeling pretty stupid because we believe there wasn't enough cause, and we conclude there was no justification. 

Yet, in reality they keep happening. And the hurt caused is anything but trivial or small.

The hurt is not trivial, because it's accumulated latent hurt that's surfacing. And that's why the disproportionate reaction.

We'd normally deal with it in one of two ways; brush it under the carpet as what we see is the silly trigger, or worse, build walls, insulate ourselves, become indifferent .....and that's just moving away from authentic space.

Watch out next time. Be more aware. And you'll likely see what needs to be seen, the actual issue, the deeper cause. It's an opportunity to better. That's of course presuming you want to :)

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