Selfhood

How do we measure the degree to which we are able to carve out a separate, whole, independent self within our closest relationships?

This may be best read in continuation with 'Relationships & Intimacy'

This is excerpts from 'The Dance of Intimacy" by Harriet Lerner:

A strong self does not mean, high board positions or jobs, doesn't care what others think,  has it all together, moving up the ladder of success

We can be in any of those and yet be caught up in patterned ways of behavior in our close relationships to manage anxiety. Over functioning, underfunctioning, fighting, pursuing, distancing, child focus or other focus are all different patterns of managing anxiety within relationships.

She says when the anxiety is high enough or lasts long enough, we get locked into rigid and extreme positions on these dimensions. Then the relationships become polarized and stuck, and we may have difficulty finding creative new options for our own behavior. In fact the very things we do to lower our anxiety usually just keeps the old pattern going, blocking any possibility of intimacy.And the actual sources of the anxiety may be unclear or difficult for us to identify and process.

When this kind of a stalemate occurs, we need to work on the "I", and always in the direction of movement toward "more self". 

We move up the selfhood scale (and the intimacy scale for that matter), when we are able to:

• present a balanced picture of both our strengths and our vulnerabilities
• make clear statements of our beliefs, values and priorities, and then keep our behavior congruent with these
• stay emotionally connected to significant others even when things get pretty intense
• address difficult and painful issues and take a position on matters important to us
• state our differences and allow others to do the same

This is not all that "being a self" involves, but it's a good start. 

Relationships & Intimacy

Relationships.....the boon and bane of life :)

We all live surrounded by relationships. Relationships are a space where life happens, where growth happens, (as boon or as bane.......either ends of the scale)

As boon; relationships between two adults have the potential and possibility of genuine intimacy.  That's at one end of the scale. So, what forms an intimate relationship?

'Intimacy' is a nuanced word. It usually brings to mind romantic or marital or sexual pairings. While each of these is a possibility or opportunity for intimacy, there is a whole world that is rich with possibilities of intimacy, of connectedness and attachment. Something that can singularly uplift life to some beautiful highs.

It is not also just about 'feeling' close in the usual and immediate sense of the word.

It is more all encompassing than that. It is the possibility of a rich relationship which allows each to be who they are, yet feel the connectedness. And in that lies the growth of the self and the other.

This post is coming out of some recent conversations (across relationships and across the gamut of the scale)

I quote from 'The dance of intimacy' by Harriet Lerner.  "while intimacy is no simple term, intimacy means that we can be who we are in a relationship, and allow the other person to do the same.'Being who we are' requires that we can talk openly about things that are important to us, that we take a clear position on where we stand on important emotional issues, and that we clarify the limits of what is acceptable and tolerable to us in a relationship. 'Allowing the other person to do the same' means that we can stay emotionally connected to that person who thinks, feels and believes differently, without needing to change, convince, or fix the other.

An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices, or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way"

She then talks of how 'relationship patterns' get in the way of allowing this to happen. Experience seems to indicate that most people are so caught up in relationship patterns and expectations, that they live and die in that drama cycle of roles and patterns.

So why? Why do we need to break through those? Why do we even need intimate relationships?

Guess it's about a 'choice'.

Lerner says "People grow and develop through emotional connectedness to others. Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the 'self'. And only through working on the 'self' can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

I believe that for both women and men the most significant area of learning is that of understanding and enhancing our intimate relationships with our friends, lovers and kin".

At the very foundation of building 'intimacy' is building the 'self'.

So easy to get fooled

I received this on a What's App msg

I not just saw it, I showed it to Faizan too, saying look how the area looked when Charminar was being built, and together we ooh..aah'd for a bit.

A day later, I'm at my parents place and the topic came up.  I show it to my brother and he's like "unbelievable that the picture is still doing the rounds. I saw this a couple years back... it's a fake" Within minutes he Googled and showed me evidence. The camera was invented only in the late 1800's. 

Considering how much time gets spent on what's app forwards, it's easy to imagine the collective minutes and ooh aah's that have gone into this fake picture. 

Well...What's app is a part of life, an integral part of life today, And I love it. I love it's ease, it's convenience, it's UI, it's non intrusiveness, and ofcourse the fact that it's free. So no pointing fingers at What's app. Yet, to know a wake up call when you see one. Either stand warned, use discretion...or be okay to getting duped :)

The Hindu Metroplus

Coverage of the 'Paint and Wine' in today's Hindu

And there's an interesting story there.

Once the evening was done, and we'd shared the excitement and joy and all of that, the next feeling was that it ought to have been in the papers, especially considering it was likely a first time in city. 

And when we started to make enquiries, which was almost four days after the event, what I heard was that we ought to have done it before the event if we wanted it reported. Common sense I guess, but then there was so much focus on getting the event going that it just hadn't occurred. 

Yet, just based on hope, and the advise of a friend, I called the Hindu Metroplus.  The editor in charge also said the same thing, that we ought to have told them before the event. And then as the conversation went along she said, "anyways, send me a write up and I'll see what I can do"

And imagine my joy when it's in the paper today, picture to boot.

Lesson there....don't give up on an idea until you've done all that you can.....don't let perceived constraints stop you. I love this lesson :)

What you know vs. What you do

From Seth

In 1995, my book packaging company published one of its last titles, an anachronism called, Presenting Digital Cash. It was the first book on digital cash ever aimed at a mass audience. And it was ahead of its time, selling (fortunately) very few copies. The examples in the book were current, but it was soon outdated.

Thirteen long years later, Bitcoin was introduced to the world. I didn't invent it, even though I'd written about digital cash more than a decade before. I'd created an entire book about digital cash, and thought about it deeply for months.

Except I didn't buy 1,000 dollars worth of Bitcoin in 2008. If I had, I'd have more than $40,000,000 today.

It's not that I didn't know.

It's that I didn't act.

Two different things.

I knew, but I didn't know for sure. Not enough to act.

All the good stuff happens when we act even if we don't know for sure.

Mistress of Spices

A movie adapted from a book of like name by Chitra Devi Divakaruni. A fantasy romance kinds. While the storyline was intriguing, and I thought Aishwarya Rai looked simply stunning,  the movie itself, sadly fell flat.

Tilo (Aishwarya) an orphan, is trained in the art of harnessing the magical properties of spices. She can use it to heal anything, be it physical or emotional......sandalwood to fade out difficult memories, black cumin to protect against the evil eye and such. In addition, she's a powerful clairvoyant so she uses her ability to max potential.

She has a swanky store in the San Francisco Bay area called 'spice bazaar'. A pretty pretty store. And god, at the cost of repeating myself, she looks amazingly beautiful.

The magical powers come with rigid rules. She cannot use any of the spices for her own benefit, and she cannot ever touch another person, else there are dire consequences. Well, cupid strikes, and she falls in love with Doug (Dylon McDermott) who has a bike accident outside her store.

The rules kick in. The spices get angry and stop listening to her, and everything around her starts to go wrong. Misfortune strikes those around her as well and she knows she's the cause.

She's conflicted and takes an interesting decision; she decides to spend one night with Doug and then give up her life. She sets herself and the store on fire promising eternal commitment to the spices.

Yet she lives.

Her guru (zohra sehgal) in a vision tells her that because she was willing to give it all up, she can now actually have all that she desires. And the movie has a happily ever after......

Can Listening be Conditional

Is 'listening conditionally' really listening ?

When one comes to you to share their deepest spaces, their inner conflicts, their mixed emotions, what they need is an assurance that you will 'listen'. Listen with an unconditional acceptance. That you are there for them, no matter what. 

If one feels they are being judged, how easy does that become for them to open up, to lay themselves bare. If they think you are thinking less of them for their thoughts, their feelings?  Not easy...in fact not even possible. I think the space to speak then becomes more the listeners than the speakers. And then, why listen at all?

Listening is about unconditional acceptance and understanding. 

If I care, can I listen with purpose being to hold and to support. To go a level further, can we hold and share in that space of trust even when it involves us, especially so in our intimate relationships.  Trust that what is being said is not intended to be damaging to me. And if per chance it is, have the generosity (to use Brene Browns word) enough to talk about it, clarify, sort out.

Isn't that the very purpose of open communication .

                   

The Lovable God

Ganesha is really that right? What he evokes are all these really wonderful feelings of love, freedom, fun, art, dance, joy....all lovely feelings.

He's so easy that even children take to him like to no other god. They don't just have to pray to him, they feel empowered enough to even draw him, make him, carry him.....with whatever material ...leaves, vegetables, clay, haldi....he's just so amenable to any form. Even his drawings. He can be seen in two lines or in the ever so many simple or complex, one foot or fifty feet idols that we see. 

Look at how simple this is...lovely (thanks Pascal)

Guess it's being back in Hyd, but I got up to a nice ganesha energy, guess it's all the greetings and ganeshas around. (there's a huge one out my back window). And as I'm wondering what I can do, I suddenly figure that the lamp I light daily is itself a ganesha lamp, no need to do more he seemed to say :)

That's how simple he can make life ....life can be.....beautiful  !

The Management of Whales

From Seth

A seemingly apparent piece of wisdom, but I found it pretty mind blowing, just this little act of bringing it into awarenenss like this. Thanks Seth.

The Management of Whales

In online gaming, a whale is someone who plays far more than the typical player. It's not unusual for 2% of the player base to account for 95% of all the usage.

The same thing is true at the local gym. All the money is made on the customers who pay and never come--the folks who are at the gym or the pool for 5 hours a day use far more resources than you could possibly charge for if everyone acted this way.

The management of whales, then, is a delicate balancing act—the people who love you the most are also costing you the most. If you have too many or they take too much from the buffet, your economics are shot.

In a traditional business, one where people pay based on usage, a whale is the difference between profit and loss. That person who eats at your restaurant once a week, or goes to see Hamilton six or twelve times... This is one of the best uses of customer data. You have the chance to find people who truly are your best customers, and to treat them accordingly. A business that gets this right will outperform one that doesn't by as much as 5:1.

There are also whales when it comes to word of mouth. Most people tell no one. A few people tell a friend or two. But some people tell everyone. And they do it with authority. With leverage. And with persistence.

A whale like this is priceless. You can't bribe someone into becoming a whale, but you can dissuade them and disappoint them merely by not caring enough to notice.

Best of all, you have a chance to become whale-worthy. To design products and services that are precisely the sort of thing that heavy users will happily use, and that powerful sneezers will happily talk about.

Actually, it's not really about the management of whales at all—it's more like seeing them, leading them and respecting them.

A Separation

A deep dive into the very minds and souls of people.... where it goes beyond the black and white into the seemingly sticky but honest grays, the morally complex, the space where life gets lived. 

Asghar Farhadi has this incisive way of creating tantalizingly conflicting situations which are so nuanced and layered, that it becomes near impossible to take sides. Becomes all about perspective. Being human. Like the tagline says, where 'truth divides'.

The movie begins with the couple arguing before a judge. It's tightly scripted right from the word go. Almost solely emotional drama, but so gripping, it glues you to the screen. 

Nader (Peyman Moaadi) and Simin (Leila Hatami), a married couple living in Iran with their thirteen year old daughter Termeh, are seeking divorce. The divorce is not granted for lack of sufficient grounds. Simin wants them to move to the US for a better future for their daughter, and Nader doesn't want to move as he wants to look after his ageing father.

The father is suffering from dementia and Simin says, "he doesn't even know you, he will be fine in a home". Nader says "Yes, but I know him". Both strong and both right. And that sets the mood for the movie.

As apparent in title the film is about the process of how their marriage dissolves, and further about how integrity gets compromised in the process.

The schisms Asghar Farhadi brings out are not just between the husband and wife, but between class, gender, race, and how  in the midst of all those differences, and the challenges of modern day life, societal norms, work expectations, familial relationships..... somewhere along it's hard to be just you. How plain honesty and integrity seem the most difficult thing to do.

Each persons perspective clear, yet as a whole it is complex, intense and mysterious.

It almost begs to ask the question. Do we have it in us to face the searing intensity of emotions exposed or are we happier with the truth under the carpet. At what cost do you hold onto your values. Difficult questions.  Definitely pushes buttons.  

The 'Paint & Wine' Evening

Likely the first of it's kind in the city !!

Paint and Wine is a known concept in the US, and Sujata has been talking about, and wanting to do one ever since she got back from a visit to the US last year, where she happened to see one ongoing session. We spoke of possibilities in Hubli where she lives, and in Bangalore where I lived then, but that's it...we have been talking.

Then the defining moment. Sujata and Diksha getting together to leverage strengths and optimize synergy, and it worked ever so brilliantly. 

About the experience itself....

An evening of painting, wine, music and fun.....a unique and singularly lovely experience for each of us who participated. We had five participants, which was a great start for the duo team of Sujata and Diksha....and a privilege for us 5 participants for being the first five to do it in the city.

At start, questions going around the room were, "we know nothing about painting" "never held a brush in our life" "will we even recognize the picture" "can we finish a whole painting in 2 hours" and so on and on, on similar lines. After all, most of us hadn't held a brush in our lives.

That said it's been a deep desire and qwaish for each of us. Guess that's what brought us to this doorstep.

Rest in pictures. 

That's Diksha introducing Sujata to the participants. And she started with saying we have a lovely painting of hers in our living room, a part of our daily lives...and went onto how she has her paintings in rooms across the world...US, NewZealand, Dubai...closer home, Bangalore, Mumbai, Chennai.... Lovely.

Sujata, with all places set...  canvas, brushes of different sizes, palette,  rag cloth, water bowl, plus newspapers to protect the tables....perfection to the T.

Folks getting to know each other before start off

SRK and Sukrutha (mom) getting to know one another. That's Dikshas wall in the background btw. And it was also nice to hear Sujata say nice things about the wall. The validation of expertise :)

The class in full progress

 Mom in full earnest

Sujata around the room....with her constant tips and encouragement

Some fun moments inbetween

A seriously focused moment

Another vantage

Dhruva came around to add encouragement and do some pictures

A Smitha & Smitha picture (the S in SRK is Smitha). Diksha, evidently finding that most random :)

End of evening, Mom did an impromptu thank you speech. Lots of thanks and encouragement to Sujata and Diksha there. And to Fubar for hosting the event. It was a lovely arty and high energy ambience.

A hug in action, an acknowledgement of a dream filled for Sujata, and especially so a first in the city !!

This was the cheers raised to the event ! Wine time and fun time ( there was mocktails for those who did no wine)

And I must add, the music was divine. Diksha did the dj 'ing and every single number she picked was from my favourites (touched deep deech). 

Here's some testimonials from the participants:

Must add, Rama actually had a function to attend, but took the difficult decision of giving that a go by for a chance to fulfill a deep desire, guess that's where the 'back to childhood' comes from. 

The proud moment. Like Ananth said later "the Monalisa and Kohinoor, cannot be valued, priceless, so is mine"....I'm sure that talks for all of us.

Sujata Pawar and Diksha Devara, huge Congratulations girls !! And looking forward to many more such !!

Communication Skills That Schools Should Teach

I have enough belief and conviction in the power of communication to use the mantra 'repetition does not spoil the prayer', so here's yet another post on it.

Excerpts of an article from Lifehack, by Victor Ng an executive coach, speaker, and entrepreneur.

Essential Communication Skills That Aren't Taught in Schools at All

“I’ve never let my schooling interfere with my education.” — Mark Twain

We’re taught the basics of communication early in the classroom. To be able to read, write, and speak effectively, we had to learn vocabulary, grammar, spelling, handwriting, and pronunciation. They were, however, focused on the rudimentary goal of imparting or exchanging information.

Communication goes much further than the academics of the written or spoken word. The purpose of communication is to build and grow connections with others at an emotional level. This is where classroom learning stops short and life learning kicks in. For many people, this transition can be rather jarring.

The earlier you master communication skills, the better for you — and those around you. Here is the cheat-sheet to some essential communication skills your school missed:

Showing empathy

Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Empathy makes us human.

How-to:

Be present with the person and feel what he feels. When someone opens up with his problems, see it from his point of view. Suspend your own judgment of what’s right or wrong. Listen to his emotions. Reflect back his vulnerability. Ask questions to go deeper into his world. 

Resolving conflict

This is the bomb disposal equivalent of communication skills. Left unchecked, conflict can leave relationships tumultuous. Alternately, avoiding conflict altogether isn’t a solution either, as you’ll often be simmering with restrained and maybe subconscious frustration and resentment. To resolve conflict, what you’d need is better communication skills.

How-to:

Let the other person know your intention to work out a mutually acceptable solution. Very often, the gesture of extending an olive branch is more important than actually coming to a solution, as it shows the person how much you value the relationship. Respond, but never react.  Responding to the situation means you keep emotions in check and focus on the problem, not the person. Understand what counts as a ‘win’ — winning the argument or winning the other person over. The two are very different.

Asking great questions

To be a better communicator, don’t try to be the person with all the right answers. Instead, be the one who asks all the right questions. When you ask questions, you show that you’re open to engage and exploring more into the topic. Questions encourage the other party to share more of his opinions, stimulate discussion, and even create new ideas.

How-to:

Ask open ended questions that could lead to interesting answers.  Let your questions come from a place of genuine curiosity. When you practice good listening skills, thoughtful questions will suggest themselves to you.

Negotiating effectively

Many people find negotiation one of the hardest communication skills to learn. They must be nice people. There’s no avoiding it in life and work, to enter into a negotiation without negotiation skills is to go into a gunfight without a gun.

How-to:

Be assertive. Have options.  Listen to what they are saying (and not saying). Gather clues to how much they need what you have. Show them how you’re looking for a win-win outcome by satisfying their basic interests too.

Proactive listening

This is a most critical and underrated skill. When a person speaks, he believes he has something of value to share.  By listening to him intently, you immediately build a bond by validating his importance as a person .

How-to:

Be fully engaged and present with her. Block off all judgment of what she says or what that says about her. Keep your mind from thinking of what you’re going to say. Listen to not just her words, but also her emotions. 

Using body language

It’s not just about what you say, but the overall experience people take away from their encounter with you.

How-to:

Work on the three basics of good body language: the smile, eye contact, and the handshake. Smile from the heart when you look at someone, look them in the eye when you speaking and listening to them, and let that handshake be good and firm.

Inspiring others with an idea

An idea is one of the most powerful and contagious elements of any communication. Having an idea with someone can create a common bond built on the power of shared imagination.

How-to:

Share a unique thought that can energize others.  When you have one of these gems, don’t make the mistake of keeping it too close to your chest.

Acknowledging or Complimenting others

Acknowledging someone is the act of letting the person know something great about him or her. You’re not trying to benefit from the gesture, but to sincerely shine a spotlight on others. They will feel the difference.

How-to:

Look for the good in someone, and tell her how great it is. You can also acknowledge something in a person that few people would even notice, the subtler and smaller nice things about them.

Building authenticity and trust

While there are many best practices in communication, here is one rule above all: be true to yourself. Without trust, there can be no quality communication and connection.

How-to:

Keep it real. Never try to be someone you’re not. Be honest with your shortcomings, share inspiring personal experiences, hold yourself accountable to your words, and speak with conviction. Communicating with others will come naturally to you.

Black & White Era

Surekha, on your birthday...... what better way to know how long since, and the years and years spent together, than to see that it's been on since the black and white era !

Sitting L to R Jyoti and Surekha, Standing L to R Me and Beena

It's the only picture I have of the four of us, that much more precious.

This I believe must have been in 1982, when we were all of 18. 

I know, more because this was soon after I'd shaved my head over that silly bet I took with one of you girls only. ( must add, not because I lost, which would have still been okay, but because the whole contention was that girls can't carry off a bald look. Can't believe I was that brash and stupid :).

Those were the days when we spent more time in the TT room than in class. I recall days when we did 35 to 40 matches a day, which meant seven to eight hours of TT. Stopped only to gobble lunch. Omg. And Ms.Afzal, our sports ma'am who would almost daily and ever so sweetly ask 'aap bache ko class nahi jaana hai kya?' 

Beena played some deadly backhands there, and you with your spins that we had a hard time taking....and I recall Jyoti getting bored and restless as she didn't play, but guess we bullied her in.

I will stop here with reminiscences of the time. Safer that way....we were otherwise one wild bunch, no one in college or for that matter that whole area who didn't know us I think ;)

So many memories coming flooding in. While I go down nostalgia lane,  you have a lovely birthday pal !!

Paint & Wine

Sujata and Diksha are having a 'Paint & Wine' event at Fubar, tomorrow.

Paint and Wine is just that....Sujata taking the participants through painting a full acrylic canvas from scratch.....all materials provided. All you need to do is come paint ....and wine and have a fun evening, and by end of evening you would have painted your very own canvas.

I'm definitely going. In fact it's like a long time qwaish for me, to actually hold a brush and do a canvas.

Anyone interested, do hop on.

Good Luck girls !!!

Orissa - Random Lovely Moments

While trips can be reminiscenced and cherished for places seen, activities done, new experiences, and so on, there's also these random little moments in between which are so worth capturing, especially so through pictures. This post is dedicated to those, the icing on the chronicles of a lovely trip.

Our first cup of tea, enroute from Bhubaneshwar to Puri. Well, me tea, and Surekha coconut water, which seemed to set the pattern for rest of trip.

This was on way from Puri to Konark, a lovely drive. Part through thick forest and part along the sea

This was Puri to Chilka, just loved the visual. Felt like out of an Enid Blyton mystery adventure in the marshes. Childhood memories are etched deeper than you'd think.

A common sight in Orissa's villages, even really close to Bhubaneshwar, women who yet don't wear a blouse. It always brings out mixed feelings in me. Anger at the racism that might have initiated the practice, envy at how comfortable and freeing that must be, fear at how they must handle the lechers, simple joy at how cute and sexy they look....all of those

                         

This on the other hand is always a purely uplifting sight ....brings to mind equality, progress, independence...lovely 

Khaaja, a popular sweet in the region, also used as prasadam in temples. We had a little misadventure with this.

Surekha bought a packet to take home, and before we knew it the car was full of these really little ants, ants which got into all our other food packets (had bought lots of mamadi taandra), not to speak of our clothes. While we initially couldn't get how quickly the ants had come in, we later figured we'd likely bought the sweets with the ants in them :)

              

So pretty no....a herd of buffaloes crossing the stream

Women working the paddy fields. The wide swathes of the raw green of paddy transplantation evokes a kind of unparalleled calm to the mind ( possibly childhood experience again :)
                               

A small little temple across paddy fields
                              

A painting in the hotel we stayed at. Apart from pretty, it caught our attention because we could right away recall it's inspiration. A sculpture from Konark....and here's picture of the sculpture too.

Puri to Chilka Lake...this little boy, stark naked, oblivious to the world around, so engrossed in his play with the water, his time alone by the pond. It was such a cute sight. I remember the car passing it by, and the picture stayed in mind. So it took me a little while to tell the driver to pull over, and I got off the car and had to walk back, across this jeering bunch of guys, to hang around a bit, and ever so discreetly, share in his joy for those two minutes. 

This was at the ayurvedic garden at Bhubaneshwar. A huge lotus pond surrounded by medicinal plants and in the middle a temple too. Saw our first rudraksha tree here.

                           

The shanti stupa at Dhauli just outside of Bhubaneshwar. More than the stupa itself, I wanted to go because of the historical quotient. It's symbolic of the place that Ashoka gave up violence after the bloodshed at the Kalinga war ( Orissa was earlier Kalinga) . Significance straight out of our history books.

                              

And a final selfie. This ones at Blue Lily Resorts, where we stayed. How well coordinated is that, the blue lily...blue tiles, blue pool...and both of us in blue too :)

                                   

What an amazingly beautiful trip, one to cherish forever. Surekha, god bless you for that moment of inspiration when you called to say "chal, ek trip banaa, kahin chalthe hain dono"

A Delta Experience

This was a complete and unexpected bonus on this trip to Konark.

I have a fondness, bordering on a fetish, for deltas. The area where a river joins the sea. And I've mostly got to see this only from the air. The third morning, our misc morning, we're again up early with no itinerary whatsoever, and on the spur decided to do a walk on the beach.  We'd not planned on this for the simple reason that the beach had looked too crowded and messy the two days we'd seen it. And it's a pretty short stretch of beach.

So we walked to the beach and started walking right (left is the busier and more touristy part of the beach), and as we walked, there were fewer and fewer people around...and a little more than half hour of walking I think and out of nowhere we come upon an actual delta, a distinct river joining the sea. I could have whooped for joy, in fact I think I did. It was an absolute omg moment for me.

That's river Bhargavi

This is the point where it enters the sea

There were a couple of fishermen fishing. You can see the river behind before it spreads itself thin at the delta. Shallow enough to walk into.

The delta area and Surekha walking through too

A beautiful shot if I can say so myself, as the camera caught him as he threw his net into the water.

Two more fishermen, Shamsunder and Gopal with who we got chatting  

They were sportive enough to smile for a picture

Don't know what I was doing with that stick, but I was finding something funny for sure

Surekha walked up to see their catch....I stayed with my stick 

A beautiful driftwood that had washed ashore....it had so much coral growing on it

A selfie at the delta to sign off a simply wonderful morning. Made that third extra day already so worthwhile.