When life got hijacked

That’s how I feel about what happened from the morning of 8^th September to the morning of 13^th September…….. like life got hijacked.

So what happened that was that big? And in a life that’s been so full of intense and extreme experiences, what made this stand so far apart as to make me use the word 'hijack'? I’ll be candid and tell, and there’s two reasons why I’m sharing this inspite of being repeatedly told that this is something that does not get spoken about.

First, on what actually happened: Dhruva was diagnosed with appendicitis and was operated upon on the 3^rd of September. On the 8^th morning the doctor called Ravi and me to his room to tell us that the biopsy report was done and that Dhruva had Adenocarcinoma, yes cancer. He also said the immediate treatment was a surgery called the right hemicolectomy, which involved removing part of his colon, which is part of the large and small intestine, and as you can imagine, the whole thing was pretty devastating. Needless to say, any parent will know how the pain is x times more difficult to handle when it’s effecting ones children, and that’s exactly what happened. It was like feeling the earth fall away from under your feet.

Now ‘cancer’ is like this word that should not be spoken,  maybe even a few degrees more than the dreaded ‘voldemort’, right?……….and it starts there, Who do I tell? Who do I not tell? Do I tell Dhruva? How do I tell him? How do I tell diksha? Even the Oncologist was of the opinion that I tell dhruva that it’s an infection  and that it needs further surgery.

This is where you step back and move within. Listen to your gut, and remember that it’s your own opinion that should matter above anyone else’s, especially in what effects you most. I know this sounds simplistic and obvious, but pause to do some honest introspection and you’ll see how much of life is lived based on external opinions and expectations. And what’s more, when you start to trust and depend on yourself, you’ll find an endless source of strength and fortitude within. This is the first of the two reasons that made me share this experience. 

That in the direst of times, you’ll be amazed at the bottomless pit of strength within.

Once I’d done this sorting out for myself, the first thing I did was tell dhruva and diksha. I spent a lot of time thinking of the best way, and I took the help of diksha and the general surgeon who dhruva had developed immense faith in, and we did it the best possible way we could. But that was important. Why? Because Dhruva needed to know what he was up against, it’s important that you know the enemy in order to fight it best. And that was one of the best things I did, as over the next few days I saw a level of maturity and strength in him that was amazing…….. it was like watching hanuman in lanka, the visual scene from the tv serial Ramayana where he grows and grows in size to take on the enemy; now I get the symbolism there. 

And then, here’s where the universe does its bit, and what you can do is look on in awe and gratitude. Whether it’s gods, luck, energy, chance or what have you, the senior surgeon who was to operate on dhruva for the cancer was stuck in Kashmir in the floods. So we needed to wait. During that period, we spoke to specialists and experts and also got the specimen tested again.

The second pathology report showed no cancer. We gave it yet again for a third test. The most excruciating period was the waiting for the third report. We got that on the 13^th and it also said ‘no malignancy’. Dhruva didn’t after all have cancer.

So the second and more important reason I share this, is for you and anyone known to you, to please be alert to such life changing errors that can occur, especially in the medical stream. This is such an area of expertise and complexity that we as laymen tend to mostly go on trust. But even here we need to use our own intelligence and common sense. Ensure to get that second opinion on tests and diagnosis, especially when it involves surgery. Don’t let anyone play god.