The aftermath

You’d expect it to be a big positive…huge relief……a high…… but surprise, surprise;

I got up this morning to a low. I’m driving home after dropping off diksha in college, and seeing all those cars slowly creeping forward in traffic brought to mind this picture of a long line of ants that crawl along with seemingly no larger purpose than to be alive. And yes, my already low frame clung to the word purposeless, and before I knew it I found myself getting dragged down further and further. I’ve always found that when we’re low, it’s like a lot of problems, issues, negatives are just waiting around the corner to piggy back. And by the time I was home, I found I had heavy and negative thoughts in the mind.

What was it? Was it fatigue? Was I just feeling drained? Was I overwhelmed with what had happened? It was so over bearing that I knew I needed to grapple with it, else it would take me down.

It took effort to step out of myself and try to understand. As I articulated, I found that I had been hit by ‘self sympathy’, I was actually feeling sorry for myself, and it was taking over my mind. Sure shot weak moment.

Becoming aware of the issue with clarity has within it a major part of the solution.

I’d forgotten to be grateful. That one realization enabled a complete shift in consciousness. And I’m back with a smile :)

To ‘keep smiling’ is in one’s own hands !