When children grow up

People love to say that children are most enjoyable when they are really little, like between 2 and 6. Agreed that’s an enjoyable stage, but I think it’s also really enjoyable as they get older and you gradually start to relate to them as adults, with independent thinking minds. I’m enjoying that with both my children; I love those moments when I see their behavior in situations better and more mature than mine; and even more, when they have different views to mine, but backed by such rational thinking…. It’s very interesting to get in those perspectives. With an open mind, I realize that the term ‘generation gap’ can actually be a myth.

But before more of that, a little peep effort to see why most adults like it when their children are little, (this is atleast largely true for India).

It’s about control; I’m grown up - you are little, I’m grown up so I know more – you’re little so you know less, I’m grown up so I tell – you are little so you listen. And as children grow and as this control equation gets more and more threatened, it becomes increasingly uncomfortable. That’s why little is the best age for parents I guess.

As the children grow, this control depending on the balance, leads to either conflict or complete subjugation. And the sad part is that the control is so disguised in love and concern, that it’s not even possible to detect it, leave alone fight it.

I’m not saying love and concern are bad, they are great, but let’s learn to love by facilitating or enabling rather than controlling …… learn to love by letting go