From Seth
You will benefit when you tell lots of people your give up goals. Tell your friends when you want to give up overeating or binging or being a boor. Your friends will make it ever more difficult for you to feel good about backsliding.
On the other hand, the traditional wisdom is that you should tell very few people about your go up goals. Don't tell them you intend to get a promotion, win the race or be elected prom king. That's because even your friends get jealous, or insecure on your behalf, or afraid of the change your change will bring.
Here's the thing: If that's the case, you need better friends.
A common trait among successful people is that they have friends who expect them to move on up.
Friends are also persons in their own rights with all the emotions of humans. So unless they are canines in human form aka hugh Jackson as wolverine, they are bound to feel negative stuffs about even closest buddies. But the difference is to be aware of such a feeling and not allow it to take over the positive space in the relationship. For that matter if we could let go of negative emotions in all our relationship ,therapists will be jobless.Tall expectations .But hopes are what makes the next day break worthy to live.
ReplyDeleteI am picking "friends get jealous, insecure for you or afraid of changes". Any friend who is secure and happy with what they have will never feel these negative emotions enough for you to have to change them. Any friend who is not competing with you will ever feel these negative emotions. I somehow relate to a mother child vs a father son relationship. There are fathers who get insecure when their children do better than them.Mothers rarely do. Is it then about ego and the self esteem derived only from being "superior"? Is it really tall expectations for people to be basically good human beings where their friends are concerned? (Not universally). I agree that friends who cannot support you in your dreams, ambitions and aspirations, putting their own fears and insecurities aside are a drag. One is better off without them than with them. The consequence could be having no friends! Which is why the advice: talk about give up goals and not the go up goals. Take into account the fact that many people cannot be "true" friends or as we used to say "best friends". Maybe that's why the age old difference between acquaintances, colleagues, friends, best friends comes in... :)
ReplyDeleteFirstly...nice to see such strong opinions...and I guess they are both essentially arguing the same perspective, except that one focuses on process and the other on outcome. Net, net...a good time to say, happy to have you both as true friends :)
ReplyDeleteTrue friends
ReplyDeleteDry tears than cry
True friends
Stand up than stand down
True friends
Sense than judge
True friends
Wait than push
True friends
Oh I can go on on
True friends
We are to each other.
Wow Girija, good to see you so in the flow, and so inspired :)
ReplyDelete