A day out with dad....

and, a subtle but solid learning to boot .....

Yesterday dad and I spent the afternoon at the passport office for his passport renewal. 

Getting to the passport office, the process (though it was very efficiently streamlined for senior citizens), the steps, the waiting, the seats, the multiple counters........even all that was like a monumental effort for him. 

At almost eighty five...... with severe arthritis, a debilitatingly painful knee, a severe aortic aneurysm, and a heart problem that's just starting.....you realize he's living with a lot of odds piled against him........can't be easy space. 

And it's in this context that what he said was so beautiful.

When he first said he wants his passport renewed, folks at home were like...What?? Why?? ( obvious reason being that he was highly unlikely to be travelling out of the country again). He quietly went about it on his own. Found himself an agent, called them home, created the document file, filed the application......and then gave me the date and time of the interview.

We went. 

Job done, (he even got a nice swanky tan colored leather cover for his passport), we're sitting outside, at a cafeteria and having matka chai in the sun.....and only then did I realize how much it had meant to him. He says:

"this would never have happened if it wasn't for you, our whole lives would have been different if you weren't here"

"ayyo daddy (giving him a hug) it's a small thing....and of course I'd be here..that's why I moved see"

"no, you don't get it......this is not one of those regular things, if you weren't here I wouldn't have got it done.... it's lapsing tomorrow and I would have just given up.....you see, I also know that I won't be travelling again......... but to let my passport lapse means I am giving up one more facet of life to age.....giving up not just the identity, but also the possibility....letting those doors close....at this age these little things become more significant than you know"  

That so blew me.

To be able to connect into yourself, articulate what works as real ....and what works as a psychological prop, to know when not to just be practical.....to know how to be nice and loving to yourself. 

Was such a wonderful moment, chilling there in the sun, sipping chai, sharing those thoughts, a deep connection being felt........an afternoon that will stay forever.