An interesting and saddening article in the NY Times; on pressure, and its impact on students: Push, Don't Crush the Students
Excerpts:
Excerpts:
It's a situation from Palo Alto High School is California, one of the most prestigious schools in the US.
Across the street is Stanford University, which beckons like next step, and as road to Google, the White House, and A Mansion on the Hill. And on the other side is a railway track where three boys one year and five another year have killed themselves.
Does a culture of hyper-achievement deserve blame for this suicide cluster? The answer has unearthed a sobering reality about how Silicon Valley’s culture of best in class is playing out in the schools.
In addition to whatever overt pressure students feel to succeed, the pressure is intensified by something more insidious: a kind of doublespeak from parents and administrators.
They often use all the right language about wanting students to be happy, healthy and resilient. They say, ‘All I care about is that you’re happy,’ and then the kid walks in the door and the first question is, ‘How did you do on the math test?’ The giveaways are so unbelievably clear.
They often use all the right language about wanting students to be happy, healthy and resilient. They say, ‘All I care about is that you’re happy,’ and then the kid walks in the door and the first question is, ‘How did you do on the math test?’ The giveaways are so unbelievably clear.
Denise Pope, an education expert at Stanford, calls this gulf between what people say and what they mean “the hidden message of parenting.”
I think this applies not just to high performing schools, but any school or parent that expects the highest performance, and that seems like expectation in everything they do, grades, ranks, sport, art, anything.
Localized to India would be the pressure of colleges which train students to get into the premier institutes in the country. The expectation of the parents seems to be......given this training you are expected to crack the exam. Children are groomed for it right from middle school, with little attention on either aptitude, ability or interest.
The irony is that all this is done in the name of love and care.
Localized to India would be the pressure of colleges which train students to get into the premier institutes in the country. The expectation of the parents seems to be......given this training you are expected to crack the exam. Children are groomed for it right from middle school, with little attention on either aptitude, ability or interest.
The irony is that all this is done in the name of love and care.
Psychologists are urging parents to adopt a changed attitude.....to maybe say: “I can’t tell you which path to take or how to get there, but I will support you, I’m here to back you up.”
It’s a hard message to hear in the world of today.
Parents please.don't push your sucess or failure on to the children.
ReplyDeleteLet them be what they want to be. Be there to applaud their success and appreciate their failure ,by their own strength.
It is difficult I know to see your child not getting where they want to be or where you want them to be.
Share your fears at such times to whom you can confide and get clarity on your fears
Don't push your fears on them.
Pick them up even if they don't come to you when they are down.
Be the shelter that you should be and not the sand pit that you become.