Labeling Emotions - A Deep Dive

'The ability to recognize and label feelings is a core component of emotional mindfulness.'

We've spoken about Living in Mindfulness. Even the Cherokee tale of yesterday is essentially that, right....be mindful of which wolf you're feeding. 

So let's go a little deeper, like a 101 on mindfulness, and maybe this will be the sequel to the emotional intelligence post, which to some sounded like just a teaser :)

                                        

Apparently, it is difficult to properly identify and label the myriad emotions we experience on a regular basis and there is growing evidence that as a culture we are largely emotionally illiterate (Gratz & Roemer, 2004). To draw an analogy, we are constantly taking black and white photographs of the very colorful scenes of our lives.

Simply put, this is to say that, one, there are multiple emotions which we need to be able to recognize and understand, in order to be able to better navigate. That said, it's not an endless list and with a little effort, you'll get pretty good at it. What's to watch out for is when they come nuanced or disguised, as it's not uncommon to simultaneously experience multiple emotions, sometimes even conflicting emotions.  Then other times, feelings may seem to switch rapidly between one and another. But once you start to label, you'll find it getting easier by the day. It's just like in any other sphere; practice makes perfect.

Now, why do we need to label? Can't we just let it pass. You know it will go away, so we typically either push it away, or distract ourselves.  Well.......you can be sure that what's pushed under the carpet is accumulating as baggage.

Instead of trying to push an emotion away, the idea is to draw it closer by feeling it, identifying it, and putting a label on it. Recognizing and naming an emotion can have a powerful effect on quelling it and enabling acceptance.

Psych professor Matthew Lieberman, calls it “affect labeling.” You can use affect labeling to help yourself and others. Using brain imaging, Lieberman and colleagues noticed that when asked to label a strong emotion, research subjects showed less activity in the amygdala and greater activity in a region of the brain associated with vigilance and discrimination.

The less aware we are of our emotions, the less likely we are to figure out how to best regulate them. (Vine & Aldao, 2014).

If you want to control your emotions better during difficult conversations, do something counter-intuitive: Give up trying not to feel them. Instead, put a label on them.

For the sceptics.....does it take away spontaneity? No, mindfulness helps handle the negative emotions and thereby build healthier relationships....no ones saying fiddle with the positive ones. Let those flow and be as joyful as they can be. 

As a practice, emotional intelligence enables more empowering relationships.