Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is defined as :

a) the ability to recognize emotions, one's own and the others
b) ability to discriminate between different feelings and label them appropriately, and
c) to use that awareness to enhance thought and behavior

                                       

As a theory and as a term, it was introduced as recently as the mid 90s by John Mayer and Peter Salovey, and they have proven, not only that emotional intelligence exists, but that it is as established an intelligence as IQ .

Goleman in his popular book, 'Working with Emotional Intelligence', indicated that EQ accounted for 67% of the abilities deemed necessary for superior performance in leaders, and mattered TWICE as much as technical expertise or IQ. Studies have in fact shown that people with high emotional intelligence have greater mental health, exemplary job performance, and more potent leadership skills.

A Challenge.....Emotional Intelligence doesn't as easily translate across Different Personalities or Geographies 

There's folks who will let you in easy, and there are those who won't. Then there are the different expressions that come out of cultural contexts, more so Geographies

In the US, for instance, its totally acceptable and even expected and admirable to show enthusiasm, even in a business setting, whereas with Asians, especially Japanese or Chinese, individuals are not typically emotionally expressive. Even if they feel excited about their work, they will rarely show it explicitly. 

Then even in the west, the UK is so different from the US. A truly outstanding achievement, for example, is often characterized as 'not bad'. And when people ask how each other are doing, the typical answer is 'fine', which after the “Great!” or “Good!” of the US, starts to sound pale. Tough, huh?

An anecdote from Google comes to mind:

There was this colleague, Minsuh Sung, who'd moved from Korea to Mountain View. She'd had her six month performance review, and apparently a period she had thought was going great, turned out in the end to be a disaster....... and all because of extensive sugar coated feedback through the period.

So, it's about how much we know, how well we know, how well we tune in, and all of that. The issue however, is that this is emotional space.......dynamic space and so, we're pretty much functioning in potential minefield area. Rather, even when we are aware, in moments of emotional stress, we fall back into a pattern we know, and gauge based on our own impressions of acceptability and expectation. 

Given these differences and the importance of getting it right when communicating, what's the best thing to do? A first tip is to treat emotions like another language. If you’re moving cities, you’re bound to learn the language, or at least some key phrases, right. Treat emotions in the same way.

Try your best to learn the language of emotions. Observe whether people tend to express emotions readily or keep them to themselves. Diagnose any gaps between how you’d express emotions and how people you’ll be interacting with express emotion.

Emotions are tricky business, but paying attention to and understanding the language of emotions can be a simultaneously challenging, and fulfilling experience.