A while back, in a conversation with a friend, the word rigid came up for in depth discussion. Not in terms of semantics, but as concept, as personality trait..... rigid as opposed to flexible.
'Being Rigid' has a nuanced negative to it.....a judgmental feel for sure. If someone tells me I were rigid, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be meant as compliment, matter of fact, there's likely hidden criticism.
So let's do a little deep dive
Good or Not Good ?
What does rigid bring to mind? Think of someone you know who you think is rigid. What adjectives would we use?
Confident, Clear, Strong, Certain, Authoritarian....and all those are positive, right?
'Being Rigid' has a nuanced negative to it.....a judgmental feel for sure. If someone tells me I were rigid, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't be meant as compliment, matter of fact, there's likely hidden criticism.
So let's do a little deep dive
Good or Not Good ?
What does rigid bring to mind? Think of someone you know who you think is rigid. What adjectives would we use?
Confident, Clear, Strong, Certain, Authoritarian....and all those are positive, right?
Rigid when backed by 'Principles' is a sure good (principles could be ones own of course).
Let's see what gives it the negative nuance.
It's when a) there's no principles backing the stance and b) when the principles are enforced on another.
No Principles...well obviously doesn't make sense and clearly deserves the negative nuance.
The enforcing on another.....that's the issue. When the strong, certain, authoritarian are not about oneself, but applied as expectation on another, is when it moves from positive into negative. Extreme examples ( just to drive home the point) would be stuff like fundamentalism, honor killing, restricting, controlling etc
Let's see what gives it the negative nuance.
It's when a) there's no principles backing the stance and b) when the principles are enforced on another.
No Principles...well obviously doesn't make sense and clearly deserves the negative nuance.
The enforcing on another.....that's the issue. When the strong, certain, authoritarian are not about oneself, but applied as expectation on another, is when it moves from positive into negative. Extreme examples ( just to drive home the point) would be stuff like fundamentalism, honor killing, restricting, controlling etc
It is the context and way in which it is applied that will really differentiate, if it's positive or negative.
Rigid or principled in leading ones own life. High degree of self awareness and clarity.....surely a space of strength.
Now, can there be exceptions? And are exceptions weakness or strength?
What happens when someone you really care for has an opinion or behavior that doesn't fit your principle? Can I see the other perspective? Or will my stand be, I will care until you are on my balance beam. What happens? Enters slippery territory.
The ability to see the other perspective, to empathize. to let them be, and more....... to yet accept.....that's exception.
And that's really possible when you look beyond.....when there's love........unconditional love. Not to change ones principle, no,.................but to be able to standby, support, be there. That's where it becomes strength. This would be the space of exception as strength......the closest one can come to grace.
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