The Power of Praise

                                  

That a compliment, praise, feels good, is universally true. In any situation, under any circumstance, children or grown up……be it in school, in the work place, in relationships, at random.. anywhere. Compliments make one feel good. Period. And feel good is always good. Also fact.

Yet, in all of these places, especially the more familiar, what we see way more than praise, is criticism, the get better statements. Think of the ratio at which you receive criticism or feedback or give criticism or feedback as against compliments. Sadly, the compliments are the fewer occasions, actually rare....and it’s rare because most people seem to have major issues giving compliments. It's like they think they will be smaller for it, the other person will let it go to their heads, they will be taken advantage of....god knows what, but bottom line is, that it's rare. Yet the very same people are ready with their feedback and their criticism.The positive and good is by passed, taken for granted, but you do one thing that's not satisfactory enough and you'll be sure to hear about it.

There's one underlying justification used.....that the criticism is for your own benefit, and they are telling you what you need for your own improvement. People are very generous in doling out that. While in reality, what works as best positive reinforcement is praise, not critique.

Let’s look at an obvious instance with children. How many times a day does a child hear criticism as compared to a compliment? Like when children are noisy, they’ll hear people telling them to quieten down, but if they’re playing quietly, do we ever compliment them on being quiet? No, we don’t even notice them then.

In school, or at home when it comes to marks, we’re forever telling them they can do better, even to a child who has gotten 80%, I’ve seen the remark ‘can do better’, in fact I’ve heard parents say this even of children who get 95%...'another two questions right and she would have got 98 you know'. That kind of thing.

And what’s worse, the criticism is pretty directed and focused, with details on how to do that better; whereas the praise, those occasional times it happens, is almost perfunctory. 

Think about you as recipient. Which works better for you? Let’s look at an instance again: let's say at work;  your manager is upset with you about something and says something negative, what does it do to your mood, morale and output? You're suddenly not in a mood for anything. Alternately, you get complimented on something; how does it impact your productivity for the rest of the day? Your manager picks out the good things you do and points them out on regular basis. Whats impact? No brainer, right?

Feel good is a direct correlation to higher productivity.

Even something as small and straightforward as,'you’re looking good today' gives such a deep down nice feeling. You don’t need to be looking like Aishwarya Rai, you can be just looking that shade better, but it’s still nice to hear. How often do we do it to our kids? The days they're looking nice(r) tell them they look nice. Try it and see, they might act like they are not paying attention,  but trust me, it makes the hugest difference to their morale. After all, we all make an effort to look our best don’t we?

                                        

Most people do a decent job at whatever they do, most of the time. Why do we need to be spectacular to get that compliment? How about even the little ones…….‘well drafted note’, ‘Í like how you brought out this point’, ‘nice touch there’ 'your hair's falling well today'  'that's a nice thing to say' 'pretty ear rings'......nothing fake about this……you’re basically picking out the positives, complimenting something nice ( not saying don't point out the negative, sure you can give feedback, just saying also do as much, if not more, positives)

It’s a mind set shift again. Our radar seems so tuned into picking up the negatives and pointing them out; Alongside that, lets start noticing the positives, and more than just noticing them, saying it out to people. It can be at home, at work, or even to people you randomly come across. Like in a cab, we will so readily tell them if they make a mistake. When there’s none, how about letting him know you enjoyed the drive as he drove good.  See the smile this will bring to his heart! And to yours in the bargain.

At times a compliment can make someones entire day 

Let's make giving out those compliments a part of life, a habit...there's lots of good out there.....make people feel good about themselves.....it's niceness all around!!