That’s how I feel about what
happened from the morning of 8th September to the morning of 13th
September…….. like life got hijacked.
So what happened that was that
big? And in a life that’s been so full of intense and extreme experiences, what
made this stand so far apart as to make me use the word 'hijack'? I’ll be candid
and tell, and there’s two reasons why I’m sharing this inspite of being repeatedly
told that this is something that does not get spoken about.
First, on what actually happened:
Dhruva was diagnosed with appendicitis and was operated upon on the 3rd
of September. On the 8th morning the doctor called Ravi and me to his
room to tell us that the biopsy report was done and that Dhruva had
Adenocarcinoma, yes cancer. He also said the immediate treatment was a surgery
called the right hemicolectomy, which involved removing part of his colon,
which is part of the large and small intestine, and as you can imagine, the
whole thing was pretty devastating. Needless to say, any parent will know how
the pain is x times more difficult to handle when it’s effecting ones children,
and that’s exactly what happened. It was like feeling the earth fall away from
under your feet.
Now ‘cancer’ is like this word
that should not be spoken, maybe even a few
degrees more than the dreaded ‘voldemort’, right?……….and it starts there, Who
do I tell? Who do I not tell? Do I tell Dhruva? How do I tell him? How do I
tell diksha? Even the Oncologist was of the opinion that I tell dhruva that it’s
an infection and that it needs further surgery.
This is where you step back and
move within. Listen to your gut, and remember that it’s your own opinion that
should matter above anyone else’s, especially in what effects you most. I know
this sounds simplistic and obvious, but pause to do some honest introspection
and you’ll see how much of life is lived based on external opinions and
expectations. And what’s more, when you start to trust and depend on yourself,
you’ll find an endless source of strength and fortitude within. This is the
first of the two reasons that made me share this experience.
That in the direst
of times, you’ll be amazed at the bottomless pit of strength within.
Once I’d done this sorting out
for myself, the first thing I did was tell dhruva and diksha. I spent a lot of
time thinking of the best way, and I took the help of diksha and the general
surgeon who dhruva had developed immense faith in, and we did it the best
possible way we could. But that was important. Why? Because Dhruva needed to
know what he was up against, it’s important that you know the enemy in order to
fight it best. And that was one of the best things I did, as over the next few
days I saw a level of maturity and strength in him that was amazing…….. it was
like watching hanuman in lanka, the visual scene from the tv serial Ramayana where
he grows and grows in size to take on the enemy; now I get the symbolism there.
And then, here’s where the universe
does its bit, and what you can do is look on in awe and gratitude. Whether it’s
gods, luck, energy, chance or what have you, the senior surgeon who was to operate
on dhruva for the cancer was stuck in Kashmir in the floods. So we needed to
wait. During that period, we spoke to specialists and experts and also got the
specimen tested again.
The second pathology report
showed no cancer. We gave it yet again for a third test. The most excruciating
period was the waiting for the third report. We got that on the 13th
and it also said ‘no malignancy’. Dhruva didn’t after all have cancer.
So the second and more important
reason I share this, is for you and anyone known to you, to please be alert to
such life changing errors that can occur, especially in the medical stream.
This is such an area of expertise and complexity that we as laymen tend to
mostly go on trust. But even here we need to use our own intelligence and
common sense. Ensure to get that second opinion on tests and diagnosis,
especially when it involves surgery. Don’t let anyone play god.
