A B'day Chat

It was mom's 78th b'day, and I was hoping to do an interview.

I was looking at a deep dive on a specific sphere of life. Something altered though....either my question was too abstract (per diksha it was) or the framework wasn't right....but then it got into a nice chat around birthdays.... and interesting enough to put in here.

Me: Ma, over the years, more so recent years, I've seen a significant change in you; like you've shifted levels...evolved types. 

For instance, diksha and me are both very willful, pretty non conformist kind of people. With Diksha, I find you in sync...like you really understand her, you seem to be just open to anything, while with me it was so different......... I had to fight for everything I did. (not complaining :) but I'm curious about what shifted for you within. What changed? 

(she thought for a longish while, in fact the conversation just drifted and went elsewhere, and it looked like I was going to get no response whatsoever.....when she suddenly came back with this.)

Mom: Something changed within me about ten years back, maybe more...maybe like fifteen years back. I used to be a very temperamental person, unhappy with many things in life, angry with so many things, very short tempered too (don't we know that :), and then I found an inner happiness. It's just there. After that I found I was totally at peace with myself....nothing could effect me.

I think it happened quite gradually, can't really say what triggered it.....but if I have to be specific, Osho influenced me a lot.....also this quotation:

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

The courage, 

to change the things I can,

and the wisdom 

to know the difference.

Me: Ma, in the framework of change, inner growth....let's look at bday's.... backwards. Tell us about your 70th b'day

Mom: We went on a trip to Singapore and Malaysia, with Praveen and Mala. Praveen's treat.No, that was daddy's bday. Mine, we went on a trip to Dubai, same year. Just daddy and me.

In fact, I'd say travelling also has had a huge impact on me. It gave me so much exposure, visiting so many places, being with so many families....it enabled me to think a lot...expanded my horizons, it made a lot of difference.

Me: Let's go further back. What about your 60th bday?

Mom: It was in Tirupathi. You gave me that surprise.  I wanted to be in tirupathi for my 60th bday, and you gave me a surprise by showing up there, all four of you, and you'd planned this whole trip to Mahabalipuram and Kanchipuram, it was a wonderful 60th birthday. Ideal Resorts I remember, I so love the sea.

It is life that is a big lesson. I didn't need any other lessons. I have learnt from life itself.

Me: That's a lovely memory recall. I'd completely forgotten. What about your 50th bday?

Mom: You got married. Three days after my birthday.

Me: Oh god, right....... let's steer clear from that.... other than that, tell about your b'day.

Mom: We went to Nagarhole. After the marriage, Daddy, Kamlesh and me went, it was a 50th birthday treat. Another wonderful trip. Kamlesh and me went for a coracle ride in the cauvery and we had a misadventure, the coracle almost tilted and threw us into the water, a near miss.

Me: Wow, so many bday trips. What about your 40th?

Mom: I can't go that far back. 

Me: Okay, shift gear....tell me what bdays mean to you.

Mom: Actually birthdays don't hold any great significance to me. It won't matter if we don't celebrate it at all. In fact in my childhood we had no concept of a bday celebration. Nothing. The day just came and went.

My first bday celebration was only after we got married, and after that every birthday daddy and me would do a movie and dinner out. His bday would be my treat, and my bday would be his treat.

Me: Sweet note to end on ma. Happy happy birthday again !