Core Values

How much do we live in accordance with our own values?

How much are we even aware of what our core values are?

This question stood out for me in three different contexts in the recent past, and each time I saw how pivotal it is to one living life per one's own choice.

                              

One was in our counselling course, where we not just understood how it works, but also did an exercise which enables us to identify and articulate our own values, and then to also become aware of possibly conflicting values, and figure out how we want to align. And then to also be aware of how each plays out in your dealings not just with the external world, but also within yourself.

(For instance, I'd recently met someone to who 'respect' was core value, but she was so focused on respecting others, that she'd lost sight of where the line at respecting herself was getting compromised.)

Another was in an article by a business leaders coach, titled 'How To Make Powerful Decisions Based On Values', where he says....'rarely does he find decisions not taken because of lack of information, but more because of an underlying fear, all blocked by 'what if's'. Caution turns into paralysis and we dread the decision. We may even begin to wish it away.'

And he writes: 

"When I’m working with my clients and they are hesitating making a decision, we always go back to what’s important to them and the things they love.

In our work together they have created a vision of their work and life that represents their greatest values. When we talk about their vision and values, their stress level goes down and the answer to their current problem becomes clear."

A lovely quote from the write up

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” ~ John Lennon

The third was from the book 'When Breath Becomes Air'. When the author, a neurosurgeon, is diagnosed with third degree lung cancer and his treatment is being charted out, his oncologist repeatedly asks him 'what are your values Paul'...I want us to decide on treatment based on your values. You have a few months left, so choose right. Do you want to be able to operate, do you want to write, or you want longer time with family. And he has to then clearly recognize what matters. And he makes those tough but clear decisions.

And I was left thinking how we don't have to be almost dying to really know our values. Can we just choose to live like that....on regular basis, daily basis. It enables higher possibilities of authenticity and joy.