An Extraordinary Experience

It was a day spent at Church..... being part of a healing congregation.... guess I can say, a 'miracle healing' congregation.

Let me give some context: After my father was told he could not undergo a knee replacement surgery (due to a heart aneurysm), he has been looking to every other possible source for an alternative cure, be they ayurvedic oils or locally developed calipers or what have you.

And that's when he heard of a cousin, Rita, who'd recently had a faith healing experience, here in Bangalore. Rita, who was suffering acute knee pain, had her surgery scheduled, even her daughters tickets (from the US) booked for the purpose, had then come upon this healing. In fact it was one of her doctors who spoke about it. She went...received the healing....and was completely and totally cured. Overnight, she went from being near unable to walk ( she said the pain was so chronic and so severe, that she had begun to walk sideways) to being able to jump and dance, and now work all day long. Here was our exposure to a first hand miracle, right in the family.

Then started his conversations with her, over a period of two months, and between them they had the whole thing fixed. A lot of the family, and many of his friends were taken totally by surprise... the skepticism was evident, as this just didn't fit the rational image of my dad. But he'd decided to do it, and my mom and I went along with the plan.

The healer is Brother Johnson Sequeira, from Goa, who visits Bangalore one day every month. His energy...his approach...his confidence..... his readings....his talks.....he kept the entire congregation constantly engaged, and almost mesmerized I'd say. We were there six hours and there wasn't a single moment when we felt disconnected with what was happening. It was like he created this energy...built the receptivity, and then delivered the prayer. It was an amazing and moving experience.

That's my father walking down the aisle after his turn at the healing

The elderly gentleman on the extreme left, in the blue shirt...it's an interesting story. He was apparently bedridden a few months back, and is now so completely healed that he actually danced with the kids to 'when you're happy and you know it, clap your hands'. That was like beholding a miracle. His gratitude was so evident, it brought tears to my eye.

That's Brother Johnson....and he's asking dad to share his experience with the audience. I liked how he said "They've come from Hyderabad. Are they believers? No. Are they baptized? No. That's real faith. That's the faith that will heal"

There were people with all kinds of ailments...knees, backache, vision issues, spondylitis, parkinsons, asthma and others. After the healing, he asked for a show of hands, and it was impressive to see so many hands go up. While many said they'd been healed right away, for some others he said the process had begun and would take it's course....if they kept the faith.

It was at one time a fascinating and a humbling experience....and I intend to go back there again one day...just to witness the power and healing of faith....to witness a miracle.

Rita, thanks much for all your support and help, and for being our passage to the healing.

Listening

Yet another layer on Listening

This, I'm finding, is one of those spaces where, the more you know....the more you know there is to know.

One facet of listening which is often not articulated is the Objective of listening.

There's times it helps to be aware. To recognize and to know the objective of the listening. Especially in emotionally disturbed spaces the objective is to give comfort, give solace, lend that shoulder, that sleeve.....be there.

Start observing yourself.....the normal tendency is to provide solutions. Many a times, it's our need to provide solutions that takes over. Most times, the person already knows the solution (maybe theoretically, but yet does)....often times it's like 'I know I need to step out of that space, but I can't, so don't stand there and tell me I need to....just be by me, hold me, understand me'.

Do just that....show that you care, show that you understand. Don't give solutions. Don't point out mistakes. Don't give reassurances or platitudes. Don't talk about your experience in a similar situation. Don't talk about others similar experiences. Don't even enable thought.  All of these can happen later when the person is in a frame to be receptive. Do just what's needed..... listen, hold, understand........ and let them know you are holding, supporting, understanding.

This is a subtle shift.......quiet but active...... can be very very powerful.

Proud Moment !

With Vishakha, I almost feel like this had to happen......it makes me all the more happy for that....just adds to the glory of the moment.

                                   

Why would I say it had to happen?

Well, she's had this single minded grit and determination to go after what she wanted ever since I've known her. I have tons of stories, but let me stay with the printable one, this is after all, no longer just friend terrain :)

I remember her preparation during her CA exams. While we would make it a point to meet everyday even though we were in different colleges, even if we had to walk the six kilometers between our houses, and even through her sometimes fourteen hour schedules ( yes she did those schedules even then ), during her exams she'd say, I'm going to give it my all.... and trust me she would just disappear into her books those months, even our meets would be then rationed and timed :)

The journey has been amazing, her growth as an individual which I've seen go from strength to strength, and as a professional, right on to becoming MD and CEO.

A favorite analogy of her's which comes to mind, is of a swimming duck. You see the grace and beauty of the movement, but need to remember that there's a lot of efficiency and hard work continuously underway beneath the surface. She epitomizes it....the effort, the efficiency and the grace.

Congratulations pal and so so proud of you !!!

As Big Picture As It Gets

What technology does, can do, is doing.......what's good about, what's great about it.......  what's dangerous about it, what's scary about it....a lot of us I'm sure have indulged in discussions a lot of times. 

When it's said that life has changed in the last fifty odd years, more fundamentally than it has in the last two thousand years, we know the speed and access of technology. And we watch from the sidelines...sometimes with excitement, sometimes with curiosity and at times with trepidation....especially when the discussion moves into spaces like cloning, robotics, simulations, singularity...and the like 

In that context, I loved the thinking, the clarity and the articulation by Maciej Cegłowski, a painter and a computer geek, in this talk titled 'Web Design First 100 Years'  (It's long...but it's brilliant)

The Wee Little Gestures

There are the small gestures of niceness...the Thank you's and the Please's, that we use around us all the time, be it with family, friends, shops, office, college..........and then there are those you do with complete strangers.

                                         

Not to take away from the ones closer home,  yet, the ones with total strangers seem to have just this different charm....maybe comes from the zero expectation space.

I had it both ways since yesterday and guess, I'm still feeling that little bit of extra joy:

Yesterday, I saw this car waiting at the signal, and as I came by I saw that he was a little ahead of the signal and didn't seem to see it changed to green......he continued to wait... I slowed down to tell him. And I was so surprised to see him catch up with me at the next signal just to say thanks.

And just now, after my morning walk, guess I was a little late....the road was choc o block with traffic, and I was waiting almost five minutes just to cross the road....then there was this car guy who actually caught my eye, guess felt sorry to see the pouring sweat, or caught the exasperation in my face....whatever, he just screeched to a definitive halt to let me pass. I could have bowed...but ofcourse chose instead to lip sync a grateful thanks.....and the flash of a smile I got is still in mind.

Guess, within our circle, we so take for granted the thanks and pleases......but when it comes to strangers, the occurrence in itself is such a joy and a pleasure. Would be nice to pay as much attention to it at all times I'd think....in the telling and the receiving......that much more joy all around :)

Reality looks like this.....

A beautiful video...



Great job, Funk You !!

Don't Let Others Opinions Rattle You

Think about the last five times that something dragged you down.

There's good chance that four out of those would have been the consequence of another opinion....either something someone said, or someone did, or you perceived as someone thought. 

A casual remark by a colleague 

A slight from a friend

A fight with your spouse

A reprimand from your parents

Even a weird look at a store
A sideways glance by a neighbor

Think a little deeper into the issue. What does it make you feel?

Maybe sorry, angry, anxious, depressed, worried, small.....any one or more of those feelings, all those negative feelings which in essence touch a deep sad space within.

So much sadness and negativity triggered from an opinion that the other has about us....real or perceived being secondary...it's still about an opinion.

You'll find that a lot of those times, the negative feeling is caused by the 'lack of approval' or the 'actual disapproval' of others. The need for approval runs deep....it has been conditioned in us from the day we were born. Approval from others gives us a sense of higher self-esteem. We’re convinced that their approval and recognition matters to our self worth, and impacts how deeply we value ourselves.

In fact a lot of decisions that we take are again based on opinions ......approval or disapproval of others. Be it minor decisions like having a late night with friends ( if my husband says yes, but with a sulky face, the evenings gone) buying a pink dress or a purple dress ( oh..you think this looks better?).....or major ones like, do I quit my job, do I continue in a relationship, do I shift home .....we seem to allow another opinion to not just influence, but even direct a lot of our decisions, and thus largely the course of our lives itself.

So, do they think better, do they know you better than you know yourself, do they have a control over your life, do they have more rights ..............what is it?

Where is our own opinion here. 

It's a loop many of us are caught in, and what we need to get out of is a nice strong dose of self trust. Why do we trust the other over our own opinion. And very honestly, giving an opinion is so easy. Observe a little, and you'll start to see that they may not even be listening to their own opinion. They might in fact be mulling over your opinion of them (given as unthinkingly)

Can we think of claiming our own rightful space. Respect ourselves some more. Trust our thinking some more. Love ourselves some more.

And trust me, once you're there, you'll see magic happen....you'll see others respect you, trust you, and love you even more.

Who Moved My Cheese

I'd read this book, first time maybe fifteen years back, and I now realize that back then I'd so totally missed the basic message in the book....guess direct evidence that what you will absorb is only what you are ready for :)

It's a small book of simple parables about 'change'.....in essence to move out of your comfort zone... move beyond your fears.... towards achieving what truly fulfills you.

The story is told through four characters who live in a maze and who are looking for cheese to nourish them and make them happy. Cheese here is the metaphor for what makes you happy, and the maze is life, where you look for what you want. There are four imaginary characters, two simple minded ones called Sniff and Scurry and two more complex ones called Hem and Haw, each to represent different facets of ourselves. Sniff, who sniffs out change early... Scurry, who just scurries into action... Hem, who denies and resists change as he fears it will lead to something worse.... and Haw, who learns to adapt in time when he sees change can lead to something better.

You pretty much journey through the maze with Haw, experiencing his difficulties in moving out of the comfort zone, how he overcomes them, and what he learns in the process.

Lessons like how when you take that leap of faith out of your comfort zone, even when you do get discouraged, you remind yourself that, as uncomfortable as some moments of risk might be, it was in reality better than staying in a cheeseless situation. And how present situations can get moldy like cheese but its so gradual that you don't notice it happen.

And the basic realization that what stops you is your own fear... You change what you believe, and you change what you do. And how through the process you even find a better part of yourself, one that recognizes that it was safer to be aware of ones real choices, than to isolate oneself in ones comfort zone. 

Life is to be lived, so be ready to change quickly and enjoy it....again...and again....

Kudos to The Bangalore Police

What really caught my attention is how the Bangalore City Police used social media during the recent cauvery crisis that hijacked the city. Monday morning all was normal. Around noon news of protests started to come in and within the hour we were hearing how aggressive and violent it was, buses trucks and cars burnt, tamil owned establishments attacked, malls stoned... and the news spread so quick that it started to create panic. 

I was no exception...when I heard how bad it was getting, I decided to store up on some basic supplies.  Even as I was buying, there was this gang of bikers with sticks and flags who came and force shut the kirana shop...even in our calm and sleepy Jayanagar galli. I then went further, only to see tyres burning at every crossroad, totally deserted roads, small groups of scared faces....the tension was palpable. The city was in the grip of fear.

And as is rife in such situations, rumors started to spread.....of sec 144 here, curfew there, bandh on this day, rasta roko on that day. What was impressive is how the Police used social media. They used twitter, FB, website.... to put the facts out there. The moment you got some news on whats app, there would be someone else who put a screen shot of the police fb page saying it's not true. 

Sec 144 was later imposed, but this was even before that. They also did two additional things: a fb post which said that any arson or attacks anywhere and we could take a picture and send and they would take care of it right away. And second, imposing section 66, which said that spreading news without actual evidence, was punishable. 

Just to know the truth at times like this.....it instilled confidence, and I believe this played no small part in getting the city back on it's feet within a day. My respect for them has definitely gone up many points. Kudos and Thanks Bangalore Police!!!

Blistering Barnacles

Well, guess that's as Tintin specific as it gets. Any Tintin reader would need no introduction, and a non Tintin reader would have no clue..... as I doubt the phrase has ever been used outside of Tintin.

I was a huge Tintin fan. Actually, more than me Praveen, my brother was, and between us we had a decent collection. I'm fairly sure I've read all of the twenty four comics multiple times each, and my brother went one step further....he recently bought himself the whole collection. Just to say how much Tintin was part of our growing up years. 

So when Deepak and Diksha recently did the walls of a cafe called Blistering Barnacles, I felt an immediate bond.  This is their artwork from the cafe.

The inimitable  Captain Haddock

I'm not sure if this one belongs there, but anyways it's Deepak at work, so putting it in.... for a bit, I couldn't tell if the chair was from the painting or real :)

What a lovely piece.......

Wonderful work guys......right from the name, to Captain Haddock with his colorful expressions, and the great detail in the last picture with Tintin and Thompson and Thompson, and little snowy ofcourse. Nice chance to reminiscence, and, loved the work too !!!

The Roofshot Manifesto

A worthy read from Luiz Andre Barroso, Google VP of Engineering

Google’s “moonshot factory” is inspiring and ambitious, but there’s a less talked-about route to many of Google’s great achievements -- the consistent, short-term, incremental “roofshots” that make our products better year after year.

Don’t get me wrong. I want flying drones that can bring me fresh produce. I’m excited about contact lenses that measure blood sugar. And I look forward to the day that self-driving cars are on the road everywhere. These initiatives are examples of some visionary programs being pursued by Google and Alphabet teams, collectively referred to as moonshots -- disruptive, 10X leaps in technology.

But there has been a growing perception that moonshots are the primary model for radical innovation at Google, and chiefly responsible for our greatest product and technical achievements. What I have seen during my 15 years at Google does not match that perception. I contend that the bulk of our successes have been the result of the methodical, relentless, and persistent pursuit of 1.3-2X opportunities -- what I have come to call "roofshots."

When I was a software engineer in Search, I witnessed how our product continuously got faster and more amazing. It happened through thousands of scoring code changes, new click data, faster networking, clever use of in-memory indices (later through Flash memory), and so on. Each of them a roofshot. The combined result, though, was awe-inspiring.

Our datacenter innovations followed a similar storyline. We started with a pile of machines in third-party facilities and decided we could do better. We kept gaining electrical efficiencies, changing how airflow was provisioned, improving maintainability and automation of repairs processes, and learned how to rethink datacenter design as a computer design problem. Roofshot after roofshot led to some of the most efficient and reliable datacenters in the world.

Seen from afar, these kinds of achievements could be mistaken as moonshots. They were, in fact, sequences of roofshots. A sequence of roofshots is a compelling innovation model that can produce both quick returns and sustained, transformative results. A 1.3X roofshot per quarter is a clever way to achieve the equivalent of a 10X moonshot in less than 3 years, with the added bonus of giving you a 30% improvement in the first 12 weeks!

Although true moonshot leaps are rarer, particularly in mature engineering areas, we must learn how to identify and seize them. So how do we find those rare opportunities? I subscribe to the artist Chuck Close’s position that “inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work.” Moonshots tend to reveal themselves to people who chase roofshots with passion.

I’ve had a chance to contribute to some of Google’s successes over the years and had a front row seat to many other wonderful achievements by my colleagues. If there is a winning formula, it is this: go out there and dream big; then show up to work the next morning and relentlessly and incrementally achieve them

Make something great

From Seth:

Make something great

Not because it will sell.

Not because it's on the test.

Not because it's your job.

Merely because you can.

The alternative (waiting for the world to align in a way that permits you to make something great) is hardly worth pursuing, right?

When Breath Becomes Air

The cover page reads....Rattling, Heartbreaking, Beautiful

I'd add Poignant, Honest, Courageous, Incisive...... it now definitely stands appended to my list of books that touched deep.

The book found it's way into my hands. When I first heard about it, I walked into Walden, and it was there, but was hard bound and expensive, both tough...and I walked away. Yet within the month, I found it in my hands. Providential kinds.

Paul Kalanithi, a neurosurgeon, at age thirty six, on the verge of completing ten years of rigorous training, is diagnosed with fourth degree lung cancer. Over night from being a doctor, he finds himself a patient, in the very same hospital, staring death in the face.

Through the book we see his journey as a passionate young student with, in his own words, the burning question "what makes human life meaningful....what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life".

And he ruthlessly seeks.... through a masters in literature from Stanford, a masters in philosophy from Cambridge, Medicine at Yale, and while doing medicine thought he'd find his answer in psychiatry, and how he finally fell in love with neurosurgery, and went back to Stanford for a postdoctoral fellowship in neurosurgery. 

And through all this he holds on to the yearning to become a writer. And it's so poignant when he says he had postponed learning how to live while pursuing neurosurgery, and by the time he was ready to enjoy a life outside the operating room, what he needed to learn was how to die. 

He writes with extraordinary sensitivity of his experience through med school, cadaver dissections and the humanity of a corpse.......... humaneness in dealing with a patient....and fascination for the complexity of neuroscience.

Then came his own struggle with the cancer.....how core strength and vulnerability juxtapose and intertwine......how a marriage on the verge of breaking, found it's bonding through the fight with cancer, and even the struggle to write the book as he had to use silver lined gloves towards the end, as the chemotherapy had started to crack his finger tips.

His writing itself, which while sharp and cuts deep, is at times almost poetic in beauty.

And finally there's his own death, as the manuscript had to be completed posthumously.

As said in the preface "Listen to Paul. In the silences between his word, listen to what you have to say back". There's no reading and forgetting this book. 

I got tested out....

This was an interesting learning experience. This morning.... at the park.... and again.....the 'elderly and respectable' man was there......and what's more he was even armed with his wife this time, and both were plucking flowers, and they each had a cover.

Trust me, if it wasn't for the post 'A thought from my walk', of day before, I would have walked past.......with the usual excuse of 'why is it my business', or maybe just 'fear of humiliation', or 'plain apathy', whatever.....I would not have stopped.

The thought this time was....'Walk the Talk' ( pun intended)

So, I did.....actually did the whole drill in my head first...with love and respect, and a lot of tentativeness....all that in tow, I told them. At first the wife was up for battle, but the gentleman connected with the gentleness....and the job was done.

I gave myself a pat on the back. And also a mental whack, because I so nearly didn't do it.

My biggest take away was how, when you articulate something, you give it energy. Then you put it out there, either by speaking about it, or writing about it.....and you give it more energy. And that propels action.

I feel that little notch a better person. :)

Teacher's Day

I first thought....why write a post every teacher's day

Then, there were two anecdotes from the day which changed my mind.

The first, a morning chat with Diksha. I was like 'it's teacher's day, even if you've grown out of roses and cards....it's still a day to acknowledge, and send that thought of gratitude to those you've learnt from....teachers who had an impact on you......who've left a mark..... you had a good experience with....so, if you had to recall, who would they be'

She thought for a bit, and I was so surprised, and also happy to hear her say...... firstly Kuhu ma'am of course ( she was her class teacher in LKG, at DPS, all of fifteen years back ) .....and then Sarla ma'am, and Pallavi ma'am from high school, and Prabhakar Sir and Arun Mani Sir from College.......and then she said..... and you ma... and ammamma, and I think akkaya ammamma too. That touched deep.

The second: we were at a traffic signal, and there was this old beggar man who came by the window. As diksha was searching for change, I saw a Cadbury bar on the dashboard, and I asked him if he'd like to have it. He looked puzzled, so I opened the wrapper and asked if he wanted chocolate, and he said 'Yes', with a wide toothless grin. And then, I got special blessings from him.... and with a look of such gratitude, that I was left humbled by the experience.

And it's relevance today.... giving toffees to beggars is a gesture I learnt from a friend, and one I love so much.... that what better day than today to acknowledge my thanks.

                         

A thought from my walk

On this mornings walk at Lalbagh, I saw this elderly and respectable looking gentleman plucking flowers....cute little red flowers, one by one getting plucked off and disappearing into a cover in his hand.

One part of me was screaming out....stop, tell him.....the flowers look so pretty, they belong in the park, on the plant.....and there's so many people in the park for whom their beauty adds.....stop, stop.....tell.....and by the time that thought could reach fruition, I had passed on by.

What happened?

Last week, when I saw a driver plucking flowers, I didn't hesitate to stop and tell him. Earlier, when I saw a child do it in our complex, I stopped to say it's nice to let the flowers be. 

So what happened today?

I allowed 'elderly' and 'respectable' to inhibit me....to fool me...to control me.

We are so conditioned into 'respect your elders', that it even translates into....'at the cost of not doing what you think is right'

Food for thought. It's possible to tell...tell with love and respect. Hopefully, if I see it happen tomorrow, I'll find it in me to tell... :)

Shaam - e - Mehfil

A beautiful evening from my stay in Hyd.

Mom has this practice of spending dusk in the balcony, humming to herself, in pretty much complete darkness. This evening I joined her, asking if I could give farmaish.... and she was game. We started with:

- ये रातें, ये मौसम नदी का किनारा
- आयेगा आनेवाला
- ना ये चाँद होगा, ना तारें रहेंगे

A few more..... a glass of wine....and we moved into karaoke, and all I needed was for her to say, you also sing....and i actually did..first ever for me

- ये हवा, ये रात, ये चांदनी, तेरी एक अदा पे निसार है
- याद न जाए बीते दिनों की
- आप की नजरों ने समझा प्यार के काबिल मुझे
- आ जा रे अब मेरा दिल पुकारा
- लग जा गले के फिर ये हसीं रात हो न हो
- अजीब दास्तां है ये, कहाँ शुरू कहाँ ख़तम

And with this last one, dad got pulled in too, and that too with a lovely story:

This was way back in 1960, when he'd just begun working....he was travelling from Delhi to Bangalore by train, and at a station on the way he saw a poster of Dil Apna Preet Paraya (ajeeb daastan hai yeh is from this movie)....... and he was such a diehard Meena Kumari fan, that he actually got off at the station.....just to watch the movie. :)

Dad's farmaish was all from Noorjahan and Suraiyya, and then out came more stories....of buying LPs......winding up gramaphones...escapades to watch movies et al

I loved this story from mom too........she said her grandfather was so strict that all lights at home had to go off by 8 at night...so mom and kamlesh aunty (her sister) would hide with the radio under blankets to listen to Binaca Geet Mala. I couldn't help but put a visual to my imagination... 

This is one of those times I reaffirmed my gratitude to google.....a recall of one random line from an old old song.... a few clicks and the song comes alive....and what's more... with lyrics too:

- मेरा सुंदर सपना बीत गया
- प्रीतम आन मिलो
- मेरा दिल ये पुकारे आ जा
- न जाओ सैयाँ, छुड़ा के बैयाँ
- मोहब्बत ऐसी धड़कन है

I just had to list as many as I could remember...... it's a chance to relive the music and the evening.

Lateral Thinking

Lateral thinking is something we may heard of, and maybe vaguely know about too. As a term it was coined by Edward de Bono in the late nineteen hundreds.

It almost read like an alternate way of thinking......thinking ingeniously......like he says, thinking not to be right, but to be more effective. He says, a few people were considered 'creative', but the rest had to plod along within established mental grooves, and he promoted the concept of lateral thinking as the first 'insight tool' for problem solving.

                                      

The human mind is 'a special environment which allows information to organize itself into patterns' and the mind continually looks for fitting all new information into patterns it already knows. Given these facts, De Bono noticed that that a new idea normally has to do battle with old ones to get itself established, and that's a space of conflict.

Lateral thinking is contrasted with the normal logical or patterned thinking, also called 'vertical thinking', which is good most of the time, but when we have a particularly difficult situation may not give the leap forward we need to 'think out of the box'. Or as de Bono puts it, 'Vertical thinking is used to dig the same hole deeper. Lateral thinking is used to dig a hole in a different place'.

He lists techniques for creative thinkers:

• Generating alternatives - to have better solutions you must have more choices to begin with
• Challenging Assumptions - though we need to assume many things to function normally, never questioning our assumptions leaves us in thinking ruts
• Quotas - come up with a certain predetermined number of ideas on an issue. Often it is the last idea that is the most useful
• Analogies - trying to see how a situation is similar to an apparently different one is a time tested route to better thinking
• Reversal Thinking - reverse how you are seeing something, that is, see it's opposite, and you may be surprised at the ideas it may liberate
• Finding the Dominant Idea - not an easy skill to master, but extremely valuable in seeing what really matters in a book, presentation, conversation and so on
• Brainstorming - not lateral thinking itself, but provides a setting for that kind of thinking to emerge
• Suspended Judgment - deciding to entertain an idea just long enough to see if it might work, even if it is not attractive on the surface

"It is characteristic of insight solutions and new ideas that they should be obvious after they have been found". He calls it 'the glorious obvious' !