This has been one of my all time
favorite stories:
One night, driving through an
interior rural district, was this man who suddenly found he had a flat tyre. He
got out of his car and went to open his boot, only to find that he didn’t have
his jack.
He waited around hoping for a car
with a kind driver to pass by, but in a while he realized he was on a more
lonely stretch than he had thought. He started to take note of his surroundings,
and all he could hear were frogs and other insects, no human noises anywhere.
It was then that he noticed a
light in the distance, and presumed it must be a farm house. He was sure a
farmer living so far from civilization would have a jack, so he decided to give
it a go; he had no other option anyways.
So he headed off towards the
light. Trudging along in the dark, cursing the darkness of rural countryside,
and wondering how people managed to live in such stark areas, he walked. He was
sure the farmer would actually be happy for some company too, considered how
there seemed no neighborhood worth its name around. It was the only light he
could see for miles.
Five minutes of walking and he
tripped on a stick and felt the splash of muddy water, he’d tripped into a
puddle. Cursing, he tried to dust off the filth and found his designer shirt
getting dirty too. As he walked along he was thinking to himself. There’s a
chance the farmer won’t even open the door, what with all the crime and murders
coming up in the news on regular basis. Why would he open the door to an
absolute stranger? After all even murderers today come slickly dressed and
dapper looking…damn those fancy crime serials.
As he drew closer he got more
concerned. He thought, I’ve now walked all this way, and likely, even if the
farmer opened the door a few inches, he’s likely to say he doesn’t have a jack
just so he can avoid opening the door completely. And he’ll likely even slam
the door in my face for bothering him at this odd hour.
At last the desperate man was at
the door, and he was hesitant to knock, apprehensive of the reception from the
farmer. But having come all the way, he decided to knock anyways. He knocked.
The farmer opened the door. And
before he could even complete his sentence, our dear friend found himself saying ‘WHO WANTS
YOUR STUPID JACK ANYWAY !!?!!’ and turned back and walked away.
This story brings out how, all of
us tend to work ourselves up through these little stories in the head.
I know for sure that I have
suffered consequences on account of this.
I think we invent these stories in
an effort to understand the other, the world and then prepare ourselves to
handle it. It’s a defense mechanism of sorts. Either to protect ourselves from
possible disappointment, or to keep our own image intact.
For example, when we get into argument,
we’re willing to blame the other person for it, and let ourselves off the hook
by saying we were only reacting. Just as our friend in the story, he was
actually reacting to the story in his head.
Sometimes the stories could be
true, but just as often they are not. And what’s unfortunate is how if we tell
the story with creativity and conviction, we totally believe the story, and
then we don’t even make the effort to seek out the truth. We’re typically
getting stuck in it. And when the circumstance gets repeated, we would tell the same story again and again, and
we develop so much faith in it that it ceases to be a story and becomes our
reality. It can be extremely damaging to relationships.
So what can we do? Instead of
preparing for the worst or imagining the worst, maybe it would help to keep an
open mind……to just wonder what it might be and not presume things, not build
stories.
Let’s try replacing our stories
with a genuine desire to learn the truth. May actually be less fun than thinking those
horrible thoughts; it’s true you know…….
we actually enjoy the drama of feeling a victim.
But knowing the truth is
definitely more effective and can actually enable healthier relationships.
Maybe that way, you’ll actually get the jack when you need it, repair your
punctures and be on your way !!
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