Niceness is Overrated !

'Niceness is overrated'.........This was the status message of a friend on What’s Ap.

So what is it? What would provoke something like that? Is it unusual to feel that way? Does it mean being nice is a wasteful effort? I know its sounding like I’m making a big deal by acting surprised.

It actually happens at some point or the other, to all of us, right? Being nice, but the efforts not yielding the desired results. And the ensuing disappointment.

How does that happen? Rather, why?

We’re making the effort, and being nice…..and then we automatically have expectations. What does this mean? That we’re actually trying to control the impact, the reaction and to that extent, the other person.

Well then, we could be setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Our influence goes only until our actions, and not into the results. When I measure my niceness by the impact in terms of the other persons reaction, I’m getting into difficult space. It’s because it’s then going to be driven by their own interpretation. And we've seen how people can interpret......It’s pretty much the ‘own your emotions’ flipped over :)

Also, nice does not necessarily mean doing whatever the other person wants; it's about doing the right thing, and being nice in the process. It's best to stay focused on that.

And never forget, it's as important, maybe even more..... to be nice to oneself too, and that I think is what enables the Y axis here.... the ability to be one self, to have the power of you within. It's pretty akin to the 'you need to be happy, to be able to spread the happiness'.

So let's just get simple......do the right thing and do it nice ....rate niceness on that and not the result....and we're in good place there !