Down nostalgia lane

A meet up with a friend and colleague from twenty years back.

When Aditi called and said "Hey, I've just landed in Hyd, I have one evening free, can we catch up?". While I had visitors at home, and a whole bunch of things lined up, I heard myself saying "yes, we definitely could".

And we did....... and what's more, at one of my favouritest places.....JNIDB

It was a journey down nostalgia lane, in more ways than one. One was recalling some amazing stories from working together as a team, one that broke records at work, all of twenty years back. It's rarely that you'll get paired with someone who will match you wavelength by wavelength, be it in thought, energy, innovation, process, commitment.....and we just had all of that going for us. 

I remember being called the 'live wire team'. While I moved out of IDBI a long while back, she's stayed and grown, rung by rung, and is now Chief General Manager. It made me just so proud to see her there, rubbing shoulders with the EDs and CGMs. So so deserved. 

While our six years together was in Bangalore, another connect we discovered we both had is with JNIDB itself.  She was involved with it's creation on paper at Head Office, while I was involved with it's creation and and starting process here in Hyderabad. And we both have an equally strong attachment with it . 

It could be that which inspired us to walk around the campus, in the quiet of the evening, catching up with so many stories. And her saying "if ever IDBI sells JNIDB, I will resign". That's a whole different level of identification...such an emotionally intense statement, that it endeared me to her enough to create a forever moment.

Apart from the work angle, I have another nice story. Inspired by the architecture (it's a Charles Correa creation), and the widespread grounds, I'd told the then CGM that it would be lovely to have geese walking around the campus, and he'd said " if you can bring them, I'll keep them".

A casual thought that got fulfilled. One Sunday, I went to Charminar, bought six geese and drove them in the back seat of my car all the way to JNIDB. It's so deeply touching to see that they still have geese, though the ED now was quick to tell me "these are new, they may not be the ones you bought" :)

The driveway in

We did a lot of walking around, and came in for some chai and pakodas in between

A quadrangle within, where we've spent many a night singing and talking into early hours of the morning

In the room, Aditi was sweet enough to pose for me

Another picture

The geese pen

This was an absolute coup. I googled JNIDB to see if I'd get some other pictures of it's architecture, and was so blown to find this picture, one of the very few group pictures there........one from 1991, and with me in it (third from left)

@Aditi, is that you in green, not sure as this would be years before I'd known you....but if yes, this would be a mind blowing coincidence

Aditi, it was so wonderful meeting and catching up, and to your caption in the picture you sent saying "thanks for coming, I will treasure these moments", an absolute ditto ......so glad I came, and will treasure those moments as much, and more.

What's in a word

"What's in a name".............Shakespeare would have us be nicely poetic and idealistic.

We now know that's way more contextual than what we'd like to believe. Studies have evidenced that  'words' do influence our thoughts, and the meaning we make out of the situation, person, event etc

A small instance of how this works:

I have some flowers and plants in the house, and they've evoked reactions interesting enough to tell a story.....

"so pretty.....fake hai? artificial kyon re?"

"you gave artificial flowers for his birthday?" (one of those bunches was a gift for dad)

"are those real"? (some are). Which ones are real? it would be so pretty if they were all real"

Just in the use of the words 'artificial' 'synthetic' and 'fake', there's this feeling of belittling, of being imposter, of letting down. So much nuances.

It helps to ask the 'Why'? Why have them? What is the objective?

Is the idea to pass them off as real? or is it to add prettiness?

And lo and behold ! you have your answer and you love them a little more :)

In this context there's a quote of  Jean-Luc Godard which says it beautifully : 

“It’s not where you take things from - it’s where you take them to."

A Little Refresher

This is excerpts of something simple and sweet, that came into my inbox this morning......

None of it may be new, in some form or the other, we've read, been told.....but one thing I learnt from my Google days "repetition doesn't spoil the prayer".

It's as good as that refreshing cup of coffee each morning, definitely beats the newspaper :)

5 “Notes to Self” About the Precious Little Time You Have Left

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF 

1. Your entire life can be customized from day to day.

There are hundreds of people in every town on Earth who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them. Don’t settle for the default settings in life.

The life you create from doing something that moves and excites you is far better than the life you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

2. The willingness to do hard things makes life worth living.

Truth be told, one of the most important abilities you can develop in life is the willingness to accept and grow through life’s challenges and discomforts. Because the best things are often hard to come by, and if you shy away from hard work and discomfort, you’ll miss out on them entirely. 

3. Opportunity is only ever found in the present.

Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness and peace. Don’t be one of them. The secret to happiness and peace is letting this moment be what it is, instead of what you think it should be.

4. Daily kindness is a beautiful legacy to leave behind.

Through kindness you have the ability to make a profound difference in every life you touch, including your own.  So just keep reminding yourself that you will end up terribly disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them.  

5. Everything will change again, faster and sooner than expected.

Nothing lasts. Everything changes. Day to day is a winding journey.

As human beings we are constantly outgrowing what we once thought we couldn’t live without, and falling in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted. Life literally keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don’t be afraid. Find the lessons. Trust the journey.

To a greater or lesser extent, we all know deep down that life is short, and that our mortality—our inevitable demise—will catch up to each and every one of us eventually. And yet we are infinitely surprised when it catches up to somebody we know. 

It’s like walking up a long flight of stairs with a distracted mind and miscalculating the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, but there isn’t, and so you find yourself off balance, tripping over yourself for a while, until your mind shifts back to the present moment and the reality of how life really is.

Let’s take a deep breath right now and take this to heart.

Bucket List

My first Marathi movie without subtitles, so an additional interesting experience.

As surface level, a journey of finding identity and self.....and at a deeper level, exploring the invisible and subtle connection and bond between the living and the dead, an organ recipient and a donor. 

Madhura (Madhuri Dixit) a middle aged housewife, whose life revolves around taking care of her family, is the recipient of a heart transplant, and while her family is joyous....she finds herself ruminating on what the emotions in the donors family might be. 

Her thoughts take her not just to the doorstep of the family, but to completing the bucket list of her twenty year old heart donor. Through learning to ride an Enfield, kissing a boyfriend in public, learning to wolf whistle and more.......... and how through the process she goes from being wife, daughter, mother, daughter in law, to becoming Madhura. 

And in process endears herself into her donors circle, and enables closure for the girl's twin brother, parents (Renuka Sahane and Phatak) and friends. 

While there are several facets of the film you feel could have been better, Madhuri Dixit carries  the film pretty much on her own, and enables a simple and heart warming watch.

@Surekha, thanks for getting me to watch, especially for saying "chuck the subtitles, you'll follow the Marathi" 

Another Second Hand Book Bazaar Visit

This visit to the book bazaar happened on a perfectly timed impulse.

Sunday morning, Swaroop and I are chatting up over our second cup of coffee. He's talking of Yuvah Noval Harari, and asking if I've read him, ....and says "you keep quoting Bill Bryson, if Bill Bryson does it casually and with humour, this guy does it seriously....you should definitely read him, start with 'Sapiens'....I think you'll love it". 

It suddenly occurred that this was a Sunday morning..... just perfect. Within a couple of hours, we were at Abids.

What completed the circle of perfectly timed was that I actually found a copy of the 'Sapiens' on that footpath, for a hundred bucks :)

Walking around, looking at book titles, known and not known, picking up random books, sharing experiences when paths cross......always an enriching and interesting experience.

In pictures:

Praveen picking up stuff

Swaroop, picking up stuff

Rafeez......I had to get him in picture. I ask if he has 'games people play', and he's like "Eric Berne ka madam? I was so blown 

  

I actually picked up a ten rupee book, a Victoria Holt who was one of my favourites during school

I'm saying "It's quite hot isn't it?" ....I'm fully ignored. And then Swaroop replies after like six minutes, so engrossed that it took that long for him to even register my question :). So off I went by myself for a bathai juice respite.

Two cute little kids who were quite happily waiting as their father browsed books

Swaroop and me

 This parking lot always amazes me, just to have such a massive empty site in the middle of abids.

Back home , Swaroop with his chilled beer, made more enjoyable after the visit. It looks like he's actually reading a synopsis on the floor :) 

Our haul for the day, Praveen's, Swaroops and Mine. Was fun to go through back home, as we each didn't know what the other had bought.

An interesting titbit...... Swaroop recalling that his first ever book was what I'd bought him in his 9th class.... 'The Other Side of Midnight' by Sidney Sheldon... and saying that's what had had set him off into reading. Felt so good, though beats me why I'd have anyone start with Sidney Sheldon, that too in school :)

Bohemian Rhapsody

The poster reads 'The only thing more extraordinary than their music is his story'.

A movie about the extraordinary life of Freddie Mercury.  One that scintillates ....through it's music, and a life that's been lived on over drive.

It's so quick, crisp and packed, that you just have to keep pace. We begin with seeing Freddie Mercury, born as Farrokh Bulsara to a conservative Parsi Indian family, working as a baggage handler at Heathrow airport..... so seemingly nonchalantly handling the racism and a father who wants him to get a regular job.

He self auditions to a band at a local pub, gets taken in, (all it takes is one listening to his voice at full sing), reforms the band, calls it Queen...... meets a girl, falls in love, gets married.....hits the popularity charts, tours Europe, tours America, discovers he's gay.......gets to their first big hit 'Bohemian Rhapsody', all in under 30 minutes. 

A couple of lines that caught my attention....

Freddie tells his girl friend: "being human is a condition that needs a little anesthesia" ( a line that Swaroop quickly wrote down in the theatre itself)

and another which Diksha drew my attention to (she's a fan....poster on wall kind of fan...and it was her third time watching within the week )

When a friend warns him that he's burning the candle at both ends, Freddie says "but the glow is divine". 

The movie has several goose bumpy moments, especially so when we see the process of some really well known numbers getting created. Like with Bohemian Rhapsody itself, which has the most vague lyrics. There's a moment of frustration when Roger, the drummer breaks off to say "wait, how many times are we going to say Galileo, and anyways, who the hell is Galileo". 

While Freddie has a meteoric rise to fame and stardom, the path is anything but smooth. There's the rift with the band when he decides to go solo, his getting manipulated by his manager and the blatantly maligning interview. His discovering his gay preference, his marriage falling apart, but a beautiful friendship with her that continues till he dies.  Then his getting the dreaded AIDS. 

As his life falls apart, lost to alcohol, drugs and men.....so does the band.

Yet, through his life, you know he has lived by choice, through arrogance and rebellion and humility. The scene where he's trying to get the band back together was neat, such an honest unconditional apology. Redemption seems so possible and real.

Nice was also seeing him in a happy and sensitive relationship with Jim Hutton.... so beautifully brought out in a scene before his parents, when he reaches out and holds Jim's hand. My teary eyed moment. 

The finale is when the band comes together again for the Live Aid concert, which some people will remember from 1985, the largest ever getting together of the best of singers and bands in aid of the famine in Ethiopia ( I recall watching it on TV). It was brilliantly re-orchestrated...including the foot tapping into which they drew in a 1.5 billion audience.....just for that concert the movie is worth watching on large screen. 

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury was unbelievable, and so were many others but my post is already too long.

And there's so many of their songs, that even for me, who wasn't a big queen listener, there were so many that make you want to sing along..... and what's more, that's what they wanted I guess , with the lyrics at the base of the film, like in karaoke.

The songs in the film......Somebody to love, Crazy little thing called love, Fat bottomed girls, Radio Ga ga, Love of my Life, Another one bites the dust, I want to break free, We will rock you, We are the champions, Don't stop me now, and of course Bohemian Rhapsody.

I also couldn't get over the likeness they created to the original Queen:

If then I wasn't a big fan of Queen, I think I am now .....have been listening to them on you tube since  !!

Default Settings

From Seth

We know that the default settings determine behaviour....... the way it's set to act if we don't override it is often the way we act. Because often, we decide it's not worth the effort to change the setting today.

Which means that examining your settings now and then is worth the effort:

Don't speak unless asked vs. Don't keep quiet with a suggestion.

Look for the downsides vs. Look for the upsides.

Do the minimum vs. Do the maximum.

Don't ship until perfect vs. Ship and learn.

The benefit of the doubt vs. Skepticism.

Trusting vs. Wary.

Inquiry vs. Sarcasm.

Speed up vs. Slow down.

Generous vs. Selfish.

We all have defaults. Are yours helping you?