The Holy Cat

A story:

Once there was an Ashram near Varanasi, where a guru lived with his disciples. Also living in this ashram was a cat. The cat was well fed and well loved by everyone in the Ashram. 

Each time the guru sat for chanting and worship with his disciples, the ashram cat would nuzzle and mew, and this distracted the disciples. So the guru said that during chanting and meditation time the cat should be tied to a post in another room. 

That done, daily order was restored. 

After a few years......the guru died, the disciples continues the ritual of tying the cat during meditation time. 

A couple years later, the sweet cat also died. The disciples after serious deliberation went and bought another cat and tied it to the same post in the ashram to make sure the guru's orders were observed faithfully.

Centuries passed and learned treatises were written by the guru's scholarly disciples on the ritualistic significance of tying up a cat while meditating.

'What holds you from seeking to know why you do what you do....to understand the purpose of the many things you do in life'

'Counselling'

It's been a full year of immersion in the Counselling Training Course at Parivarthan. Through the year, as friends asked 'What is it it about', 'What kind of counselling are you going to do', 'Which theory is it based on' 'How would you go about it' , I found I had a different answer each time. 

Well, why?

'Counselling' is a fairly wide, and relatively new concept, and there is no one phrase or definition to explain it. Counselling as a profession came of age only in the 1950s, and is closely linked to many earlier theories and approaches. 

On the what it is.... maybe in simple terms, it's a process that facilitates the client  to explore, discover and clarify ways of living more satisfactorily, meaningfully and resourcefully.  Life is dynamic and it could throw those curved balls at you. Change happens, and it can put you off gear. Many of us live with stress or restlessness at varying levels...arising from situations, relationships, work, health, death, finding meaning.......reasons are many. 

We mostly cope.....at times 'help' helps.

The question to also ask is..Is life about coping, or is it about living authentically and joyfully.

Awareness is empowering. Counselling enables deeper awareness. It enables an understanding of the 'issue' and or 'yourself' in a new light. It's like, by seeking therapy, you are choosing to take responsibility for your own life, to recognize and acknowledge your humanness, and to seek to find new strengths within yourself. 

Guess I could go on with the what of it. But let's also look at the historical perspective, to understand it a little better.

Think psychology and Freud's there. His biggest contribution...to know that a lot of 'how we think' and 'what we do', and 'what we are' comes from the unconscious space.

While he founded and mastered psychoanalysis, considering he was from an acutely male dominated and class ridden time, plus being a jew during the anti semitic movement, there were themes in his writing which did not sit well with many of the psychology thinkers, especially of the US. Foremost amongst these were Carl Rogers, Eric Berne, Albert Erickson and Abraham Maslow who reinterpreted Freud. Some well known theories are Existentialism, Transactional Analysis, Hierarchy of Needs, Stages of Psycho Social Development, Family Systems Theory and Gestalt. (Gestalt is a personal favorite)

It is believed there are more than 400 distinct models of counselling and psychotherapy. The fact that this whole field of study is of relatively recent origin, mostly between 1950 to 1970, seems to be the reason why there has not yet been time for the explosion of ideas to have been integrated into a unified approach.

Despite the movement in favor of theoretical unification and integration, it is widely accepted that there are three core approaches to viewing the 'human being and their emotional and behavioral issues':

a) Psychodynamic, b) Cognitive Behavior and c) Humanistic 

And while there is an overlap at many levels. on the whole, Psychodynamic counsellors focus primarily on 'insight', Humanistic on 'Self Acceptance' and 'Personal Freedom' and Cognitive Behavior Therapists on 'Management and Control of Behavior'.

Any valid counselling approach should be flexible enough to use the therapeutic relationship, along with the theory most relevant to the well being of the client, at that point of time. An integrated approach so to say.

And that is what I think the course has equipped.....in terms of Awareness, Skills, Theory and Being.

If you're interested in knowing more, I'd be happy to do a chat offline. Email id  is smithadevara@gmail.com

Bye Bye Bangalore

You go anywhere in Bangalore, and you cannot miss these pretty pink trees on the roads. They are right now in full bloom, and just so breathtakingly pretty. I saw this one when I stepped out of Parivarthan for the last time this morning, and I thought it was the perfect picture to capture my last post from Bangalore. 

And then I recalled a picture from a couple months back, also as I parked near Parivarthan......as it seemed an earnest experience of autumn 

                                      

An earlier picture from winter on one of my early morning walks

                                   

And this one house, again from my drive back from Parivarthan. I'd make it a point to slow down for a deeper look almost each day. I used to look in wonder even when it was all green, and last week it was in absolute full bloom....this stunning yellow. A 'full of summer' look it had felt like.

                                    

As tribute to my stay here, these pictures talk of the beautiful seasons spent here......

When I called my dad a few days back and told him that my date of final return to Hyd was fixed, he asked "won't you miss Bangalore?".  I did pause.......I have after all grown to love Bangalore, and I was like, "hmmm......I don't know.......there's so many cherished times and spaces in my stay here, and an overall brilliantly fulfilling experience.....so much so it's just a part of me now... so let's just say I'm taking that with me"

And for these deeply meaningful and wonderful three years.....years I cherish with almost awe and gratitude......thank you Bangalore !!

The Black Book

Another Story:

One day a grieving man came to Hodja - the judge

"Your cow has killed mine!" he cried

                                     

Hodja shouted, "You silly man, how can the cow know that it is a crime to kill another cow. Case dismissed!"

"Pardon me," said the man, "I got it wrong, my cow has killed yours".

"Oh!!" said the judge, "Let's open the black book and see what it says"

How different are the standards you have set for yourself from the ones set for others... Have you studied your black book?

Ram's Love for the Veena

At times (in fact many a time) total chance enables some lovely events. 

When at Girija's, she happened to take me to the basement for something, and I see this Veena sitting there. I kind of knew Ram learnt the Veena, so I was like, 'you think he'll play if I ask', and she's like 'he's very shy, ask and see'.

Surprise, surprise, he not just agreed, but did a small kacheri for us. His knowledge of the raagas was so extensive that I listened in total wonder. Ram's mother was a carnatic sangeetham teacher plus a veena player, and the learning evidently goes back many many years. And then, he has himself been learning for five years now, and not just religiously goes every Saturday, but also practices even on work days. I was pretty impressed by the level of commitment.

He played some of his favorites...I recall Hindolam, Shivaranjani and something kuthuhalam. And I was so thrilled to recognize one song, Samaja Varagamana from Shankarabharanam.

Thanks Ram, for agreeing so spontaneously........for allowing a peep into this world you so apparently love and enjoy...and  for making that last visit something special.

Namma Metro

I did a metro ride yesterday.....for the long distance from my place to Girija's, and what would have taken me two hours each way by car, I did in under an hour, and in the comfort and ease of the metro

                                                

It's a long ride, a full forty minutes...and a nice surprise was the line being half distance overhead and half distance underground, and it was lovely. It's so popular, that even on a Saturday it was pretty full. 

While Girija told me I'd have to be smart getting in, to get a seat, that kind of smart I'm not. But then there was this young lad who was sweet enough to give me his seat the moment I got in. That was so touching. And I found that happening across the board....people getting up for women with children, for elderly people, for children, for women.......was really nice to see that happen. 

And it's so well maintained, and so clean inspite of the crowds, not just the metro itself, but the metro stations too. And it's all so slick, that it's like it's almost inspiring good behavior.

Inside the metro......a picture after most of the crowd got off

A view from the metro

This is pic courtesy Google.......I really like the emblem 

   

Namma metro.....something to be proud of

Ajmer & Pushkar

The last phase of trip was just Diksha and me, as Dhruva had to head back to college. We headed out from Jodhpur early in the morning, and got to Ajmer by lunch. Ajmer is such a pretty city, with Ana Sagar, a lovely lake in center and surrounded by the Aravallis. Ajmer has apparently been given status of a heritage city.

As we drove next to the lake, it was so brimming full, we just had to get off 

And then imagine our excitement when we saw so many pelicans in the lake

We first headed to the well known Ajmer Sharif, the dargah of Sufi saint Hazrat Khwaja Moinuddin Chishty. 

                                          

That's the entrance to the dargah

We did the full ritual of 'chaadar chadana', as I'd really liked the experience from my last visit a few years back. Diksha, in the midst of the new experience

That embarrassed smile at the newness of the experience

The dupatta on the head is mandatory, and the red dupatta they put on us after the chaadar chadana ritual at the inner shrine

Dargah Sharif done, we headed onto Pushkar. Some Saunf fields on the way, with such pretty yellow flowers that it brought to mind Wordsworth and his Daffodils 

The Pushkar lake

The pushkar lake, or pushkar sarovar as it's locally called has 52 ghats and is called 'Tirth Raj',  the king of pilgrimage sites. According to hindu theology, story goes that Shiva cried so much, and for so long at the death of his wife Sati, that it formed this lake. 

Pushkar is also one of oldest existing cities of India. This picture is courtesy Google, just to show what a pretty city it is, again lake in center and surrounded by the Aravallis

Pushkar has some really interesting and quaint shops. And strangely enough we landed in the same shop from which I had bought a souvenir (replica of Shiva's sandals), on my previous visit, and this time round Diksha bought a Tibetan singing bowl which she's learning how to do.

We asked these women for directions, and it was interesting how she spoke through the veil

The Brahma temple. unique for more reasons than one......... known to be over two thousand years old, and described in the Mahabharata, as the most auspicious temple to start ones life pilgrimage from....plus stated to be the only Brahma temple in existence. That's the whole of the temple. Don't know if it's a feature of temples in the north, but it brings to mind how even the most well known kasi vishwanath temple of varanasi is just this small temple, which is such a difference after the sprawling pillared temples of the south.

Matka lassi after a long long day, before we headed out to Jaipur for our flight home

And this ends the chronicles of a visit to the fascinating state of Rajasthan. A few phrases I learnt there...... khamma ghani saa (namasthe),  and pachaa mi laa laa ( see you again) and tharaa ghana ghana shukariya (thank you very very much) . 

Tharaa ghana ghana shukariya Rajasthan !!