Bommala Koluvu

Bommala Koluvu is this really cute, and (sadly) fading tradition that's part of Dussehra. 

This year there's two occasions that brought it to the fore for me.

Last week when I'd gone to visit AMS with mom, on the way we saw these footpath sellers sell these little coloured trees which took me back to the times when it was part of life.

Back in the yore, 'bommala koluvu' was a big part of family tradition. As was common then, family head quarters was at greatgrand mom's house at Barkatpura, and most festival activities were focused there.

It was a whole process, with preparations starting a month ahead. First would be the decision of what story they want to pick for the year. It would typically be a sequence from the Ramayana or Mahabharata. Then deciding how it would be represented...like a mini screenplay kinds.

And then we would figure which of the previous years dolls (which were carefully preserved in a metal trunk) could be used, and which ones needed to be made afresh.

It would start right from making the characters.....twisting wire, making paper mache from old newspaper, creating the figurines, putting them out to dry, painting them ( the eyes and lips would be left for the more artistic in the family, and there were plenty of those, mom included). 

Then the exciting part of dressing them up. Making little saris and dhotis and blouses and kurtas and each would be so very pretty. And then accessories. Little chains and bangles, everything was made at home. Background paintings, cotton for clouds, paper mountains, little forests. 

Gosh, it was a huge exercise in camaraderie and creativity. It's no wonder it brings up so much nostalgia.

And then the nine days of having family and friends visit, and each time there would be a visitor one of us would be honoured with the task of explaining the story. I'm sure most of my knowledge of the Ramayana and Mahabarata came form there.

The two I got to see this year, one in real at AMS and the other in pictures from Girija. She experimented. She bought this online DIY ( do it yourself) kit for the steps, and evening sent me a message saying, "I almost died doing it, the ad saying it's simple is a cheat" :)

End of all that effort she had a lovely 'bommala koluvu', which even made it way into the local newspaper. Way to go girl. We need people like you to keep the tradition alive !

 The one at AMS 

Girija's

The first one top left is Girija's in the local Tamil paper

So colourful and pretty !

This One's Forever

Another Bareilly Story

A lovely real time story from Bareilly 

98 year old Raj Kumar Vaishya who just did his MA in Economics, and is now writing a book on how India can reduce it's poverty.

Excerpts from the article in Rediff.com: M I Khan from Patna tells his inspiring story.

'Aging is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter'. You must have heard or read this quote several times, often attributed to Mark Twain, though its original source remains unknown.

But whoever coined the phrase would have had someone like 98-year-old Raj Kumar Vaishya in mind.

Vaishya -- who retired in 1980 as general manager of a mica firm in Koderma, Jharkhand, after serving for over three decades -- has just cleared his Masters in Economics from Nalanda Open University with 50 per cent marks.

Born in Bareilly, Uttar Pradesh, in 1920, Vaidya had to quit studies after completing his LLB in 1940 because of increasing family pressure to start earning a living. He had graduated from Agra University in 1938 and wanted to pursue his post-graduation.

"I have fulfilled my dream. I got the masters degree. I am really happy as it was not easy to make it," said a cheerful Vaishya.

Asked why he chose to study Economics, Vaishya said, "I wanted to study economics to understand why China has suddenly devalued its currency, how to provide relief to people from rising prices and why the country has failed to solve big problems like poverty and joblessness."

Vaishya had enrolled in the course in 2015. According to varsity officials, Vaishya appeared in his first year and final year exams as a regular student.

Unlike most of his fellow students one fourth his age, Vaishya chose English as a medium of exams.

Asked if his old age poses any health problems and hinder his studies, a confident and upbeat Vaishya said, "I can read without spectacle and write fluently in Hindi and English. I only use a walker to walk because a few years ago I suffered a fracture in my back. Apart from that, I don't have any persisting health problems. I am free from diabetes, high blood pressure and other age-related weaknesses."

Vaishya is currently writing a book on how to reduce poverty, based on his experience. He now feels more confident about doing it after earning a degree in economics.

"With a masters degree in hand now, I will complete my book soon," Vaishya said.

S P Singh, an official of Patna-based NOU, said Vaidya set a record by clearing the MA exam at such an old age.

"It is a record in itself. At this old age, Raj Kumar Vaishya surprised all of us by passing the MA examination with 50 per cent marks," Singh said.

Earlier, perhaps the oldest NOU student was 84-year-old retired professor Ram Chandra Mishra Madhup, who registered himself for a PhD.

Inspirational for sure.

When Nostalgia Overwhelmed

A chance occurrence.....leading to a lovely experience.

A chance occurrence that got me to a visit to Andhra Mahila Sabha with mom, (I just went as chauffeur). In fact mom was like, it's fine I'll just do cab or auto, and I'm so glad I insisted that I go.

Mom retired from AMS all of fifteen years back, and it was so wonderful to be part of that scene where so many folks came up to her and said such lovely things about her and her time there. 

In fact one which really brought a smile was Pentamma, one of the sweepers who was at the nursing school enclosure; she said "అమ్మ గేట్ దెగర కనిపించగానే పరిగెత్తి చీపరులు పాతుకునేవాళము" (when we saw her coming even from a distance, we'd run and pick up our brooms). Another lady said something about how she learnt commitment and integrity at work just from watching mom those years. 

Such a feel good factor.

Then the absolute coup. My ammamma (grandmom) also worked at AMS. She was warden to the nursing hostel and lived in a room there, in which I've spent many a school holiday there living with her in that kutti room.

That enclosure, that building, the trees even are all exactly the same. It was like stepping back in time. I could almost feel the presence of ammamma, the way her room smelt, and gopi (her dog) and the morning and evening prayers she'd conduct for the nursing students each day. It was an unparalleled space of tranquility and joy and meaning. A cherished moment.

We walked around...went into the kitchen where I remember I used to go searching for chintha ginjalu (tamarind seeds) to play vamana guntalu or pallanghulli, a traditional board game that I've spent hours and hours with, with ammamma, or rani, or any of the nursing students who'd indulge me. I still have the board with me. In fact ammamma only got it made for me.

Ammamma, your presence there was so overpowering that I almost wanted to drive to wherever you were for that one more hug. If only.

Mom did what was next best, or rather let's say 'real life' best........we went to Balaji and had the world's best samosa. Apparently my great grandfather, which must be like in the nineteen forties, would always get samosas only from this Balaji. And he's still there, upgraded and all but man...amazing samosas. I felt I understood my thatha that little bit more :)

Thanks ma, so so glad I came. And in case I didn't tell you then, being there with you ....hearing all those wonderful things people had to say about you....all over again made me so proud of you ma.

Bareilly ki Barfi

A simple and lovely movie around a small town, real feel drama and romance.....one that takes you into the story, into the Bareilly gallis, the characters and surely into the Mishra household. 

I love getting an insight into real time lives and spaces. Even when I travel, I'd rather visit living spaces intrinsic to the place rather than the touristy spots, and this movie does a lovely job of that. 

A crisp and neat screenplay, some brilliant, seemingly effortless acting by the protagonists, and like said by Javed Akhtar  in a voice over in the movie ( another Woody Allen similarity), a movie with 'barfi' in it can't but have a sweet ending. It's sweet all through. 

No big stars, and I guess that just breathes reality into the lively story. Bitti Mishra (Kriti Sanon) the fun loving and rebellious only daughter of the Mishra family, lives life on her own terms. There's Pankaj Tripathi as the broad minded father who seems fine with whacking a cigarette from his daughter, and the conservative mother whose only desire is to get the daughter married (a la Bride and Prejudice style, lets no chance go by).

When Bittu figures that her ways would be difficult to land an arranged marriage and she's not willing to fit into the system, the quintessential misfit.... she runs away from home and serendipity plays in.

At the railway station she comes across this book 'Bareilly ki barfi' about this girl who seems exactly like her, the smoking, the english movies, the break dances et al, and something resonates. Is there someone just like her in town, or better still.....maybe someone who understands her? 

She's back from her running away jaunt to hunt out the author. The author Chirag (Ayushmann Dubey), maybe to avoid the town people's wrath at creating such an outlandish character, has put a friends name Pritam (Rajkummar Rao) as author, and the rest of story is the unravelling of that mystery.

It's at one time hilarious and poignant too. How Chirag from the cocky confident boy, turns jilted lover, to manipulative mean, to sensitive in love to get his girl and how Pritam goes from naive village boy to acting goonda, to being goonda to his nice sweet self. Some amazing acting there by Rajkumar.

It's neither heavy stuff, nor slapstick, nor sticky...just a nice right. It's based off a novel by Nicolas Barreau aptly called 'The Ingredients of Love'. A lovely one time watch.

Also... also...it does a good job of raising blatant gender biases, and considering the small town element, should go a long way in terms of impact.

Doesn't allow folks to get away with the usual, oh that's ok in movies, oh that's ok in cities, oh that's ok with the rich......Ashwini does a brilliant job of bringing it to your very door step. Kudos there Ashwini !

Congratulations Kiran!!

This is a story I've seen evolve over the last ten years. Well, Kiran over 10 years and Egnify over 2. And I'm more than super happy to be saying this particular 'Congratulations'.

The link to article: New Indian Express - Impetus to Excel

TNews on YT: Egnify Startup | CEO Kiran Babu | Hyderabad | TNews

Egnify, an education based analytics company, was conceptualized and created by Kiran 2 years back. A quintessential start up......from working in an office cum home, running on family and friend support........to today with ten smart employees, a swanky office, innovative products, esteemed clients, distinguished mentors....and so on.

Today the Congratulations is for a significant turning point....for having created 'that something' that earned the trust enough to receive funding.

To start a little way back; Kiran and I joined Google on the same day, actually not a little, it was all of ten years back. And we couldn't have been more different as people....... in terms of background, age, context, approach....yet a connect developed, right on that very first day, one which has only grown over the years.

In fact I remember him walking in, armed with a Peter Drucker under his arm (he devours books the way I do chips and peanuts :), and this lost but determined look in his eye. A place like Google can be pretty intimidating, especially so if you're not citified enough, and definitely if you walk in with a Peter Drucker ;). It was fascinating to watch him grow through the dynamics there. 

Our daily coffee catch ups started then, and became ritual for all the years we worked there, and must say we've had some fascinating 'ahas' over that coffee. Somewhere along there, was born this dream of creating a Koogle  (he's from Kurnool), and today I'm so proud to see him there.

Quitting Google, more so Google Silicon Valley where he had moved to, and was doing brilliantly well, is no easy decision. It takes all  those change principles we speak off...... Clarity, Courage, Commitment and that leap of faith.

A paradigm shift; comfort zone to charting your own path.....transforming a dream, an idea into reality.....one that has inclusivity at its core (needs to serve a Kurnool layer), the commitment to creating a product to enable that........and the letting go of all the luxury and extravagance that Google offers..... to step into a space of uncertainty and dreams.

The journey hasn't been easy, in fact that's surely understatement. I've seen him go through several nail biting situations, heart wrenching disappointments, mad challenges, sleepless nights, and so much more. I'd not hesitate to say that he stayed committed, with grit and belief, through spaces where anyone with even slightly lesser mettle could have broken.

It's two years of such challenge and intensity that I'd need a whole post, and more, to go into those details. For now, let's just say it was undiluted tough, interspersed with moments of absolute brilliance and joy. 

A deeply deeply deserved Congratulations Kiran !!!

For Kiwi

Yet another year......Yet another tribute

It's been four years since Kiwi, and each year I seem to realize, even more, how much Kiwi meant to us.  

It's a day that yet again gives an opportunity to touch that beautiful space of 'unconditional love'.

Ever grateful to you for enabling that Kiwi.....love you and miss you.

Talk at International Paper

Topic:  Change Management - Professional and Personal.

Speaker Series' have always been a favourite. When at Google, I'd try and catch every single one, and I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said it's one such that changed my career course and so, my life. A whole different story. 

So when I was invited to talk at a speaker series, I guess I was going to hold it with all the significance and  focus it deserved. The talk was to the women's forum of International Paper.

International Paper is the largest paper manufacturer in the world, with presence across twenty four countries, and with five offices in India. A nice coincidence was that I had visited their paper manufacturing units at Rajahmundry and Kadiyam, way back, like over twenty years when I was with IDBI. That's trivia which gave a nice feeling :)

That's part of the wonderfully interactive and engaging group from the Hyderabad office.

'Change Management' as a term is technical, used mostly in context of employees handling situations of change in companies, especially so restructuring and the like. That said, considering the topic read 'Professional and Personal' I decided to give it a more 'You' edge.

Why does 'Change' even become a topic?

Because change is difficult.

As true as the oxymoron 'Change is the only Constant', is the undeniable truth that as people 'We Resist Change'. What follows is a space that's ripe for conflict.

The difficulty rests not in the change, but in our resistance to it. It's in the emotions that it brings up. The real issue is in dealing with those difficult emotions.

We spoke of how change can be of two kinds:

1. Change which happens to us - happens in our ecosystem and impacts us
2. Change which we make happen - a more driven and empowering space

Change which happens to us:

Each of us holds in addition to work ( women's forum) a whole large responsibility of running a house. There is so much detail and busyness in dealing with regular life, that when anything changes, we're at best coping with the change. Is there a more efficient way of coping. What would it take to 'handle' rather than 'cope'.

And where and how then do we even find the time or energy or mind space to make change happen.

Awareness and clarity.

Life will throw those curved balls at you. And typically difficult situations bring in emotions of 'Worry' and 'Anxiety' and such which can just consume you. And the tough part; when in weak space so many little other worries will piggyback. You mostly won't even be aware of which issue is bothering you most.

We spoke of how with any such situation we can separate out the 'controllable' and 'uncontrollable' facets. Focus time and energy on the controllables. Find that course of action, whatever be the effort and energy needed, as therein lies the closest path to solution.

And the uncontrollables.....that's best let go off. Any worry there is not just redundant, but is actually counterproductive. Worry creates anxiety, which just attracts more worry and spreads and thus multiplies itself. So best is let go of the uncontrollables, as they are anyways 'un'controllables.

Might sound easier said than done, but it's as with anything else...practice makes perfect.

So key to thinking clearly when caught up in those difficult emotions 'split the controllables and uncontrollables'.

Now the more empowering space

Change which we make happen:

Here I used the 'Why' 'What' and 'How' model.

Why ?

Because that's the path to growth, fulfillment, authenticity, improvement, joy, evolving and such. Makes the difference between 'existing' and 'living'.`



What ?

It's about identifying what matters to us in life. Finding the important (quadrant D, the one in red) through the maze of the life of detail, the little urgents, which might never let you get to the important.



And as a first baby step to Self awareness, we did a little exercise. An activity called the 'Wheel of life'.

The wheel of life is an exercise where you look at the various buckets in your life, the various facets. Family, Health, Work, Friends, Significant relationships, Socializing, Community Service, Spirituality, Personal Growth, Recreation, Leisure, Travel...whatever exists. Then figure out how much of life it occupies now, and ideally how much you'd like it to occupy. Then you see the gap..... somewhere in there is a glimpse of what you'd like changed.

How?

Once you know the 'what', you figure out your course of action. And in this space, a few points worth noting:

1) Never start with constraints
2) Courage is not the absence of fear, it is to have that fear and act inspite of it
3) Takes the leap of faith

And to remember, It's always a choice. And one that takes listening, listening to your own inner voice. Not the voice from outside, not even the one from inside that's so conditioned that it reflects the outside, but to actually find your own inner voice. It's not about taking the easy path. It's about taking the path that you want.

After all, looking back end of life, it is said that "What we regret are the things we did not do, the chances we did not take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make"

Wake up calls and inspirations can come from just about anywhere....it's about keeping oneself tuned.

Enjoy and Drive change....makes the living worthwhile :)

About Elly

Yet another super powerful film from Asgar Farhadi.

A group of friends, young professionals, from Tehran go to the seashore for a weekend vacation. Group is basically three couples, two with little kids, and there's one guy recently divorced. One of the women, Sepideh (Golshifteh Farahani, she's beautiful and vivacious ) has also invited her daughter's school teacher, Elly, a single woman, with idea of a possible match for Ahmed (Shahab Hosseini) the divorced guy in the group. 

It's looks like a rushed plan, and the villa they book isn't available. So they get another beach front villa, one in dirty and derelict condition. Their enthusiasm and energy is enough for some of them to say yes, and the others to fall in line. There's a group dynamic which starts to work there.

There's fun and frolic and games and teasing, and Sepideh's plan seems to work, as Elly and Ahmed do get some time together and the possibilities appear.

And all of a sudden the entire scene changes. There's the disappearance of Elly and the shift in scene from tranquility and fun, to tension and chaos is so gripping. The sea seems to just add to the characters with its moods and colors.

The group dynamic, the equations between each start to throw up fractures and tears (pun intended). It is said that it's stress that brings out the true mettle of an individual. Asghar creates that stress in all it's nuanced and complex possibilities, between the friends, the couples, and you slowly see the layers beneath, the shades of gray in each ones character.

There is frenzied activity at points, and the rest of the chaos is in the minds, in the characters....

There's group guilt that plays out to squash the one voice of integrity that's struggling to stay alive. There's no moralizing at any point. There's empathy and understanding for each perspective as they work to resolve the issue.

A last scene of the car stuck in the sand, and all of them pushing and shoving to get it out clearly symbolizes that the incident is there to stay.....

For anyone interested in the subtleties and complexities of human relationships, and of the human mind itself, an absolutely wonderful watch.

The lil gestures

The things in life which touch you somewhere deep in your soul.

Day before... early morning, diksha and I had a spat. And as can happen at such times there are things said which can hurt. It may not be intended, is likely  expression of frustration, anger, ones own low spaces........emotions, yet the hurt will happen, and can sometimes go pretty deep.

Nothing rational about it. But then who says we live only in rational space, right? 

It passes (mostly?), but then these lil gestures make a world of difference. The thought, the expression, the effort towards understanding really helps. Needs to go both ways, 'expression' of, as also 'receiving' of. 

And this was a beautiful instance in example. She said it with all the things I love...flowers, chocolates and words. Any one of those might have done the job, and this one time I loved 'overdone'. 

And from a couple notches down, that moment took the space so many notches up.

Sure, life goes on..it will with w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.  It's what it takes to enhance, that's the space I love :)

Just Three Days !?!

The concept or rather, the feel of 'time' is so intriguing.

I'd have thought I hadn't written in here for easily over a week, I felt that distant from my blog :)

Guess feeling a little foolish has something to do with it, these little negative feelings..... like feeling foolish, or guilty can really exaggerate and multiply, eventually warping perception.

Why foolish?

Because the reason that kept me away from here was such...I got hooked to a card game. And it was an unbelievable experience. It almost took me over. I'd be telling myself, 'ok, last game girl...enough..need to eat, need to work, need to write, need to sleep' and then all I'd find myself doing was clicking on 'new game'. It's just so much fun....I almost got how game addictions happen.

Pssst...I'm not even over it yet, have had to resist it and write :)

More seriously, I had another nice and sober reason too. I did a speaker series talk at a women's forum group, from this company called 'International Paper'. Was a super interesting experience.

The topic given me was 'Change Management - Professional and Personal'. A one and half hour session.

An absolute first for me. I might have done speaking to audiences at work, but never really a talk to an outside formal audience.

And yes, was crazy nervous. And my friends saying, "why would you be nervous, you can talk", wasn't really helping, as I was slowly figuring that being able to talk, wanting to talk, knowing your content, sincere preparation....none seemed to have anything to do with nerves and butterflies in the stomach. They were just there.

And then I had an 'aha'. As part of my talk I was touching on the issue of 'becoming aware of ones own inner voice as against societal norms and conditioning', and then the realization that my nerves was coming from there as well.

I was carrying conditioning that public speaking meant nervousness and it was just playing out...a pattern, like a stuck record. And trust me, the moment I figured that .....I was actually able to talk myself out of it. 

Anyways, nerves gone, the session was a lovely experience. More coming :)

Activity Based Working

Activity based working (ABW) is a relatively new concept in the corporate world. One based on the premise that no employee 'owns' or has an assigned work station.

The workplace is designed keeping 'activity' in focus. There are individual workstations, small group workspaces, larger group workspaces, meeting rooms and social areas. Each morning the employee gets to pick where they're sitting based on the team they're with or the activity they are involved with for that time period, or maybe even just mood.

It's pretty radical. There was a phase when employees were encouraged to make their work stations as personalized as possible, with personal artifacts, family pictures and some even having their own plants. I know folks who even had pet fish on their tables. In that context this looks like a significant social and cultural shift. 

Guess as with any shift or change it will come with it's propagators and naysayers...and I guess also resistances from the likes of those who resist change, or who have fetishes for 'my space' (like me :). 

But it's interesting to see the positives and the shifts. So much flexibility. Lesser identification with 'mine' while still retaining identification 'with company', More level playing and egalitarian, increased engagement, more trust, more fun. For the company, if they can pull it off, it would be a huge saving in real estate, as metrics shows atleast 15% OOO ( out of office on leave or travel) on any given day.

And yes, needless to say this is also an offshoot of technology, laptops and phones enable this level of individualism and flexibility.

I read somewhere that maybe in fifty years (or less) children will ask "you actually went to a particular place to work?"

So the question really becomes: How ready are we to adapt? 

My introduction to ABW came from Kiran who is trying it out in his office. My first reaction was honestly a wee bit sceptical.... my question was 'what happens to need for 'my space' (my fetish see) . And then within the week I heard about it from Surekha whose company in New Zealand had adopted it across their offices, and she says she's totally enjoying it. 

Wonderful to see how design and innovation bring in changes.....this one with impact and influence at the physical, emotional and psychological levels.....a cultural shift so to say. 

Tanu Weds Manu + Returns

I binge watched 'Tanu Weds Manu' and 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns'.

It was my initiation into Netflix, something I've had on my list for a long while now. Considering how much movie watching I do, I'm now surprised I've let it be for so long. Was it inertia, economics, usage, alternatives, ignorance....I'm almost curious on what drove that (in) decision. That later, let me stay with 'Tanu and Manu' for now.

Tanu weds Manu

And it is just that..it's the intense and wild Tanu (Kangana Renaut) and subdued and mild Manu ( R Madhavan) that really make this movie. And yes, also the gallis and haveli's of Kanpur and Lucknow.

Manu, a sober and serious, NRI doctor returns from London looking for a bride. His first pelli choopulu and he falls for this small town seemingly docile, (and sedated) girl. She's anything but. She's  in love with a small town goonda. She'll like this wild cat, full of nerve and gumption, and though we don't get the direction, there's an underlying endearing quality to it.

They both lived their roles and created a movie where there was none.

Tanu weds Manu Returns

The second movie starts four years after the marriage. 

It starts in a divorce court, and goes through more drama. The  movie does raise some relevant questions, but doesn't make a serious effort at answering them.  Is being bored reason enough for a divorce? What is? Through a best friend....is it okay to use artificial insemination through another guy and not tell your husband because he doesn't understand?

We also have Kangana as Kusum, a Tanu look alike.  What was refreshing is that this other girl is also similar, a small town girl (kapurthala), also brash and bold (unlike the stereotype opposites). Full credit to Kangana's acting here.

One other mention I have to make is the cinematography, Chitaranjan Das ( I searched out the name) who makes the small towns of deep north come alive. It actually reminded me of a Woody Allen in that he typically makes the cities almost become a character in his films.

It's a full on drama film(s)......yet a good one time watch . 

Musings - How Judgmental Are We

This was awareness from an experience at Puri. The evening we got back from Konark we were so washed out we decided to dine in at the hotel we were staying at (other days we were more adventurous).

We soon discovered that there was an event, likely a corporate event, with cabaret dancing on. We even got to peep in, and it was definitely high energy space. The girls had to walk across the restaurant from their changing rooms to the banquet hall, and sure they were dressed for cabaret, and needed escort. 

All eyes were on them, and there was a lot of hushed and not so hushed ooh aah 'ing on. 

We soon found ourselves talking about it too. Talking was fine, but was there a slight tone of condescension that had unknowingly sneaked in? I'm afraid so.

We were by default being judgmental...it was our conditioning.

And then the thought.....weren't we doing the exact same thing at Konark. All that we'd appreciated as art  was extremely graphic erotic sculptures, with expected impact. So how is it that as sculpture it is art and passes the test of decency, but live it doesn't. If the audience enjoys it and the girls are happy to dance, why are we so generous with opinion...with judgement. How hypocritical and judgmental are we really.

Was an interesting wake up call. Conditioning creeps in so quietly, it takes effort and conscious thought on a continuing basis to rise above it. How 'being aware' is a constant piece of work.

Nil Battey Sannata

A heart warming film, the kind that tugs at your heart, and leaves you with a smile.

A beautiful relationship between a mother and daughter. Chanda, (Swara bhaskar) a hard working and illiterate maid, whose only aspiration is to see her daughter Apeksha educated. And Apeksha (Ria Shukla) , a fun loving, math hating girl who seems happy being last bencher and enjoying her love for films. She's like rebel without a cause, settled with the idea of 'doctor ka beta doctor banega, engineer ka beta engineer banega, aur bhaayi ki beti aur kya banegi'

Ratna Pathak Shah, the lady in whose house Chanda cooks, plays a pivotal role of enabling change , a sensitive and tough support system to Chanda. She suggests and pushes Chanda to attend school. The hope is that it motivates the daughter by providing the challenge and the competition, and there's interesting dynamics that get played out there. She's was simply lovely...not preachy, not high handed....sensitive to her maid's moods, firm in her approach, genuine in feel.

Pankaj Tripathi as the school principal was simply par brilliant. His connect with the students while still being a conventional teacher was a treat to watch.

The dialogues with some relevant kahaawat's are at times so meaningful and touching that they just stay with you. "जब जागो तभी सवेरा"  "कंगाली में आटा  गीला ". Powerful stuff.

The love, the banter, teenage confrontations, simple joys (loved the moment of eating chowmein and watching a horror film together in their little shack) subtle connects....the film builds it's characters so beautifully, and with excellent acting by the entire ensemble, they deliver what I thought was a beautifully done realistic and non pretentious movie.

I could watch it again.

Musings - Our Best and Our Worst are the same

Quirky but True.

Think about it...think of what we 'most like' and what we 'least like' about ourselves. If you're game actually make your list, maybe three points each. Likely you'll find that what was labeled as the best and the worst, turns out to be the very same thing. Or more accurately, different versions of the same theme.

And this becomes really significant when we're looking at awareness and change...identifying what's not serving well and needs change. 

To watch..as it is also likely on the list of your best qualities too.

For instance, if least liked was one persons tendency to take center stage often, what was most liked was her dynamic and energetic and entertaining personality. If least liked was failure to be transparent, direct and spontaneous, what was most liked was her kindness, tact and respect for the others feelings. If another's sense of entitlement and 'me first' attitude was difficult, it was also her ability to identify and articulate her own goals, and 'go for it ' attitude that was most admired.

This is the inseparable nature of our strengths and weaknesses....... as they are woven from the same fabric.

What this really brings to the fore is why it becomes so difficult to overcome our weaker areas or change specific traits...they are too closely connected to our core strengths.

What seems to then work is awareness of its manifestations. More self acceptance and awareness. Focus not on getting rid of the difficult facets, but to identify and reinforce the positive facets...... they would then likely show up more :)

The Ship of Theseus

I can't help but write the circumstance that led me to watching this movie.

A casual discussion with Dhruva, taking off from a scene in a movie where the protagonist is attending his own funeral, (in a parallel dimension) and now needs to continue to exist as his other being.  

Soon we both see that we're differing on something very fundamental -  what we identify as 'I'. Is it the 'consciousness or soul' that lives through many lives, or is it the 'sum total of my experiences in the present' that give me my identity. And it's in that context that he mentioned 'Ship of Theseus

The film starts with stating the paradox of 'the ship of theseus' - 

"Will the ship remain the same if all its parts were replaced, piece by piece. What would happen if their original parts were gathered up after they were replaced, and used to build a second ship. Which ship, if either, is the Ship of Theseus."

The film is like a thought experiment through three different stories, no context, no personality building, just these situations that take us through questions on Identity, Conviction and Karma. Each with it's paradoxical moments so to say.... each throwing up more questions than answers. 

The acting of each of the protagonists, and the symbolism brought out through the cinematography was brilliant.

The first story is about Aaliya (aida el-kashif) a girl who takes to photography after she goes blind. The camera in place of an eye, and how when she gets back her sight she seems to loose perspective. Was the camera better than her own sight? Are our so called 'limitations' an integral part of our being?

The second story is about Maitreya, a (jain) monk with strong convictions against cruelty to animals and who in fighting a case against pharma companies on their research on animals, refuses treatment when he is critically ill. Questions that get raised in the process. 'If it's about fighting cruelty to animals, is it okay to be violent on oneself"  Neeraj Kabi was powerful.

The final story, a stockbroker who has a kidney replacement, and in the process happens across organ trafficking and his effort at providing justice to the poor laborer from who a kidney is stolen, and in process raises some questions on integrity and the role of money in life.

The common thread is that each of them needs an organ transplant, and through that the film touches 'identity', the quintessence of the Theseus paradox.

Interestingly, the movie ends with a video of a cave exploration, and we see only a shadow with a camera....bringing to mind Plato's 'Allegory of the cave', and how it's all about perspective.

I'd understand if even this review sounds confusing and abstract. Guess it's part of the deal. Questions, conflicts, perspectives......... 

It's a 'Choice'

Yet another Brene Brown video. She's brilliant at not just talking of what an 'aspirational' space is, but also so clear in her elucidation of the 'Why' and 'How' of it. I'm quickly becoming a big fan. Here's a nicely encapsulated 10 rules.

Resilience and the high end

From Seth

Resilience and the high end

The high end is brittle, unstable and thus, expensive.

The car that wins a race, the wine that costs $300, the stereo that sounds like the real thing... The restaurant that serves perfect fruit, the artisan who uses rare tools and years of training...

If there was a reliable, easy, repeatable way to produce these outputs, we'd all do it and the high end would be normal.

What makes something pure enough, optimized enough and fast enough to defeat the other 99.9% is that it doesn't always work. It is far more sensitive to inputs. It's dangerous...

Maybe you don't need carbon fiber wheels. Maybe you merely need a reliable way to get from here to there at a reasonable price. 

The high end is magic, but magic isn't reliable. On purpose. That's what makes it magic.