An Olfactory Memory

Yesterday evening I went to pick up my cousin from a service apartment she was staying at. This was an old old house I’d visited around twenty years back that’s now been converted into a fancy service apartment. As I entered the hall, I saw this boiler in the corner.

Within seconds my head was flooded with the smell of coal and steam, and the smoke filled bath from the days of the boiler. This was memory from days in my grandmothers house in Barkatpura, the days of rambling houses and spread out compounds…..verandahs and swings, thinnas and chaatas. Thatha in his old wicker rocker chair and a look so stern, you could never even think of talking to him. Pinnamma and Ammamma who you could run around, cling to pallu and ask for that ten paise to buy an icecream from the bandi.

Back to the boiler…..the boiler was our method of heating water, and the bath used to be a big ritual. The bathroom with its red oxide floor, sack of coal, and full of steam. For one, at any point there would be atleast fifteen people in the house, just one bathroom…. so you had to book your turn well in advance. And that would be the cause of many a bantering and negotiating. Then before your turn you have to go and put in coal, and wait for the sign of steam. At times just stand in the bathroom, waiting for the water to heat, as if you go out, your turn is gone. It gives us an indication of the pace of things. 

Rest of day was spent climbing trees, or listening to stories, and eating the best biryani ever. Times bygone...times to reminiscence and look back to with a smile. Just a boiler…..and so much fond memory.

Bold New Conversations

Conversations.....explorations of self, of others, of relationships..... human dynamics....have always fascinated me. It's almost like reading an interesting book, more so when it's happening in close context and then you step out of it to witness and understand.....especially when it leads to or reveals a newer layer of the other or of yourself.

In this context, here's an excerpt from 'The Dance of Connection' by Harriet Lerner, a psychologist and relationship expert:

"The challenge in conversation is not just to be ourself but to choose the self we want to be. What we call 'the self' is never static, but instead is a work in progress. That's why we don't discover who we are by sitting alone on a mountaintop and meditating, or by being introspective and 'going deeper', as valuable as these disciplines may be. The royal road for both discovering and reinventing the self is through our relationships with other people and the conversations we engage in.

In a sad paradox, the more important and enduring a relationship (say, with a partner or relative), the more we tend to participate in narrow, habitual conversations where our experience of our self and the other person becomes fixed and small.

My goal is to challenge us to engage in novel conversations that will create a larger, more empowering view of who we are and what is truly possible.

Although I resonate with the phrase 'finding our voice', the image it evokes is deceptive. We don't dig our authentic voice out of the muck, as a dog digs through the dirt to uncover a prized bone. Similarly we don't just reveal ourselves in conversation; we can also discover and deepen who we are. The challenge then, is not only to find our authentic voice but also to enlarge it.

Speaking our mind and heart is the most precious of human rights. The ability to speak our own own truths forms the core of both intimacy and self-regard.

The poet Adrienne Rich puts it beautifully: it is not, she writes, that we have to tell everything, or to tell it all at once, or even to know beforehand all that we need to tell. But an honorable relationship, she reminds us, is one in which "we are trying, all the time, to extend the possibilities of truth between us........of life between us".

There is more than one solution

From Seth

There is more than one solution to your problem (and your problem is real)

Challenge one: Believing that the solution you've got (the person you want to hire, the strategy you want to implement, the decision you want to make) is the one and only way to make the problem go away or take advantage of the opportunity.

Falling in love with your solution makes it incredibly difficult to see its flaws, to negotiate with people who don't agree with you, to find an even better solution.

And, on the other side of the table...

Challenge two: When you find someone who is pitching a solution you don't like, it's tempting to deny that there's much of a problem at all. After all, if you diminish the problem, you won't have to accept the solution that's on the table.

But of course, the problem is real. The dissatisfaction or inefficiency or wrong direction isn't going to go away merely because we deny it.

It's amazing how much we can get done when we agree to get something done.

Your Erroneous Zones

This is one of Wayne Dyers early books, from the 70's. While a lot of his later work weaves around the metaphysical or spiritual realm, this one is pretty much a self help book in the strict sense...one on attitudes and attributes....and you almost get to see his own journey. 

At one point I even found myself reading with a little hesitance and skepticism..... everything just sounded so familiar and known. (I've read lots of his later books)

But that's the aha from this book.

I read through. And as I read, I realized all over again how reiterations speak, not as much from what's written but more from your own space of readiness. 

When there's a fund of good stuff in there, it's about parsing through to that one or two sentences which will strike home for you. A trigger which opens a whole new thought process. 

The book is in essence a method towards personal mastery and effective choice making. And in the process breaks through a lot of myths and preconditioning that our society and system imposes on us.

While I'm not going through each of the erroneous zones he speaks of, here are some of the questions he puts out ( and there's chapters to talk about each):

• Do you believe that your mind is your own? Do you own your own feelings?

• Are you motivated from within rather than from without?

• Are you free from the need for approval? Needing approval is tantamount to saying "your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself"

• Do you set up your own rules of conduct for yourself?

• Have you eliminated all dependency relationships?

• Are you free from ever feeling guilty?

• Are you a doer rather than a critic?

• Are you free from the desire for justice and fairness?

• Do you welcome the mysterious and the unknown?

• Can you grow your own roots?

• Can you give and receive love?

• Can you enjoy spontaneously without having a plan?

• Are you treated by others the way you want to be?

• Are you motivated by your potential for growth, rather than a need to repair your deficiencies?

The effort is to move away from a lot of the 'shoulds' and 'oughts' that we have, and answer as many of these questions as we can with a Yes. The real choice is whether you decide to be personally free or remain chained to the expectations that others have of you.

The book is aimed at eliminating any 'worms' or 'blinders' that may be keeping you from beautiful new experiences, and to discover and choose your own directions.

The Self Defeating "I'ms"

When we talk of who we are, we typically come up with so many 'I am's'. Let's drop the roles...move on to the core you..... the attributes that define you.

If you think about it, you'll see that all those are labels. And as with any label, they could potentially be limiting.

We all agree that we're evolving beings, not just in terms of learnings as 'knowings', but also as 'beings'. Yet, we'll see that we're very attached to this image we have of ourselves.

Is there a contradiction there?

Is it possible that the "I am's" don't work equally well in all contexts? Can they actually be self defeating in some, as we're inextricably stuck in those labels that are us, and we find justifications to stay such. I'm of course talking of those times which can land you in difficult or unhappy spaces.

Let's take a few examples:
I'm a responsible person - Can this at times be a limitation on spontaneity?
I'm meticulous - Can this at times be a limitation for bandwidth and deadlines?
I'm dependable - Can this be a limitation on boundaries?

Soren Kierkegaard wrote "Once you label me, you negate me".

The same is true of self labels. When the individual must live up to the label, the self ceases to exist. 

All self defeating "I'm's" are indicative in these sentences:

That's me

I've always been that way

It's my nature

These are spaces that give you a finished product feel....that keep you from changing and growing. They are your past, that keeps you away from the 'now' fulfillment. Can we shift to the growth mindset in understanding and evolving as people?

Food for thought?!?

A Movie Style Finish

The reason I pick 'movie style' is because it seems exaggerated even in movies, but when you experience it in real life, you realize that if flexible, boundaries do keep stretching.

This was in context of Dhruva's 'visa' experience for a trip to Europe, a trip planned to align with the Euro Cup. Amit and he are crazy football buffs, and over a casual conversation starts this plan of a visit to Europe, a visit to the countries 'when they are playing'...not to watch the matches themselves, but to just be in that country as it's playing, experience it from the street kinds.

And the countries picked were Germany, Amsterdam, Spain, and Belgium. But with no specific itinerary. Just the in and out dates and countries fixed. 

Sounded so in the clouds that I very casually said, yes, okay, but only if you can get everything done on your own. I never thought he could pull it off, but to my total joy, he proved me wrong. And I guess it showed me that, when something really matters to you, you are capable of being a different level of resourceful. Amazing stuff. 

The Visa process was a drama of inefficiencies. Between the travel agent, the VHS and the Consulate, there seemed no one rule. He first applied in Bangalore. It came back. They said Chennai ( because his passport and all other addresses are Hyderabad), and he decided to go to Chennai and try, and then they said Mumbai (because he studies at Pune) and the drama went on. All in all, the ticket was booked for Monday late night and he gets the visa at 5 pm on Monday and needs to get back to Bangalore to catch his flight.

It's full on drama. I actually meet him at the airport with a suitcase....that's why movie style. And off they flew.

I can imagine what kind of a trip it will be....the first thing they did, even before ticket and visa in place, was to book a music concert of a favorite rock band Red Hot Chilli Peppers, which was being opened by Tame Impala, another favorite, who happened to be playing at Belgium :)

Hats off to your perseverance and effort Dhruva, and both you guys.......have a blast !!

Parivarthan

Parivarthan just happened to me.....(no pun intended there :). Parivarthan is a training and counselling center in Bangalore, and I realize with each passing day, one of the best by many parameters, not just in the city, but across the country.

This journey started sometime in October last year when I chanced upon their website..... and some research and some gut feel.....and I knew this was going to be a deep and long association.

Got the ball rolling then, one thing led to another....I did a short term course with them on Interpersonal Communication and Listening skills (brilliant course in terms of content, and delivery), and then onto a one year program, a course in Basic Skills in Counselling.

That's just about begun....it's been two weeks, and the one thing that stood out for me was how incisive and grounded their course is. Also how, the more you learn about something, the more there seems to be to learn. You start seeing the finer and subtler facets and the appreciation just gets that much deeper. Especially in spaces it yet falls through :)

If the devil is in the detail, I'm quickly realizing that...... so is God.

Once you know something in certain depth, the Aha's seem to flow with a certain focused rapidity.....the flow sort of takes you.

Anyways, to come back to the course itself. It's a one year program in Basic Skills in Counselling. It sharpens and deepens your awareness of how the human psyche works.  It mandates a long term counselling of oneself, as the principle is that you need to first be willing to look within yourself, before you think you can do it for another.

More as I go along.

Heartburn

Rachel and Mark meet at a friends wedding and the sparks fly almost immediately, a love at first sight kind of thingy. 

                                     

Just seeing Meryl Streep and Jack Nicolson there makes you expect some electrifying and fun stuff, but...well there's a 'But'. Don't know if the 'but' is the plot, the story, or the characters, but somewhere along it seems to fall into a rut...their life...and the movie.

She is a New York Food critic, and he is a Washington columnist who uses his friends and social life as stories for his column. The conflict, atleast internally starts at the word go. 

Even at the Church, Rachel all ready in bridal attire, has all her reservations about marriage surface and there's so much self doubt, the amount of convincing she needs is nuts. Then they're married.

They pick up this really old decrepit house that needs lots of renovation, and when Rachel says 'you'll need your imagination to see the beauty of it, there's a remark by a friend which says, 'sure, but it looks like work that's going to go beyond your lifetime'. That I guess symbolizes the whole story.

They start great, so in love, but then life takes over..... they evolve differently, their focuses shift, and the knowing they are in love, all the effort, all the want......doesn't help hold them together. You can see that, they each in their own way want to, but can't.  

India's First Women Fighter Pilot's

This might be front page of all newspapers today, but I still had to put it here. It was such a soul lifting experience to read. This one's from NDTV.

India's first women fighter pilots - Bhawana Kanth, Avani Chatuvedi and Mohana Singh - were commissioned in the Indian Air Force today.

Each has cleared the first stage of training and has about 150 hours of flying. After getting their wings today as flying officers, they will train for six months on the Advanced Jet Fighter - the British-built Hawk - they will be assigned fighters and their squadrons.

Air Chief Arup Raha has already said that the woman fighters will get no preference and will be assigned as per requirements of the force.

The three women, all in their mid-twenties, have already encountered uncertainties and hazards of flying, when training and grit become the difference between a successful recovery and an accident, or even between life and death.

Avani Chaturvedi had to abort her second solo flight sortie minutes before take-off. "As I started rolling for take- off near the first marker, I heard the Canopy Warning Audio," she recounts.

The warning, she says, "confused" her initially, but her hours of training took over and she "aborted" the take-off bringing the aircraft to a halt safely on the runway.

For pilots, says Cadet Chaturvedi, it all about "split second" decisions. "Had I delayed aborting the take-off or got air borne with the open canopy, it would've been catastrophic," she adds.

Flying cadet Bhawana Kanth said she was going in for her first ever solo spin and recovery manoeuvre when, flying at 20,000 feet, "doubt started creeping in," on what would happen if the aircraft didn't respond.

She nonetheless, she went into a spin. "It was more vicious," she says, adding, "the fighter pilot in me took over. The recovery action drilled "into us" took over. The aircraft "recovered from spin and so did my confidence."

On her first solo night sortie, flying cadet Mohana Singh encountered bad weather with thunder and lightning. She couldn't distinguish "between the stars in the sky and a small cluster of lights on the ground. Visual cues were going against cues from the instrument. The effect - it was difficult to maintain or ascertain the altitude of the aircraft.

Fighting her instincts to trust visual aids she switched to following only the instruments cues. "No unnecessary head movement, switch over to instruments," is what I was taught. Soon, she was in complete control, reoriented herself and "recovered the aircraft."

Rediff carried a nice article too: Meet India's First Three Women Fighter Pilots

It Feels Risky

From Seth

Risk and the Appearance of Risk aren't the same thing.

In fact, for most of us, they rarely overlap.

Realizing that there's a difference is the first step in making better decisions.

A Touching Gesture

Yesterday morning, I had a harrowing time finding parking at Penderghast road, Secunderabad, and what with a doctors appointment and with my dad and mom waiting on the road, I was under high pressure. Try all I could, I found no parking, cellar full, road full, next lane full, next road full. I rounded the block thrice but found nothing.

Still wondering what my options were, I chanced upon an ice cream bandi, which if moved could fit the car, so I actually got off and moved the bandi as I saw no one around. Sure enough, this woman appeared from nowhere, gave me a dirty look, and moved the bandi right back. 

(Different bandi, but just :)

I was trying to talk to her and then this angry young man shows up…. old vespa and a red shiny shirt and said, ‘yeh hamara jagah hai, yahan nahi rakh sakthe’ and totally curt and rude. My heart sank. But I decided to try anyways, desperate as I was. I got off and said ‘I know this is your space, I’m not saying no, I just need you to understand my plight, I’ve been trying for half hour, you haven't opened yet, pleeeaase rakhne dijiye’ (let me park), and I could feel him thaw. I then said I’d also treat it like paid parking and give him a hundred rupees. He said how long, and I said about an hour. And we had a deal.

The hospital took us four full hours, and once done I was dreading going back to the parking space and facing that guy to who I’d said one hour.

I obviously had no choice, and I went. Even before I went to the car, I searched him out, which thanks to his flashy red shirt wasn’t difficult, and gave him two hundred rupees. Imagine my surprise when he says, ‘nahi madam, nahi chahiye’. And I’m like ‘rakhlijiye na, aap ki jagah thi’ and he goes ‘aap ka mushkil din tha, hospital gumrahe ho, tension mein ho, aap se kaise lenge hum, nahi madam’. (you've been at the hospital, you've had a difficult day, you're stressed, how can I take money from you, no madam)

What can I say..........just to know there’s people out there who yet have the capability of empathy for even strangers…….. his ability to stretch that hand out over and above his sale of ice cream. 

Thanks Rehmat bhai….you made the day special.

A 'Born Free' Moment

Last week brought a wonderful wonderful surprise. Diksha and I were mulling around the house a morning, and we hear this distinct meow….and we both freeze because we know this is from our ‘cat’ which has been gone over an year.

While we’ve fed fifteen odd cats since, this one was our cat, the cat that doesn’t know how to meow, (he just makes some weird near meow noises). She had adopted us when she was this little scrawny kitten and literally grew up in our house, sleeping in diksha’s bed, chilling on our couch, with rightful entry at will. When she disappeared we did a lot of asking around and looking around and eventually reconciled, though we never stopped missing her.

Now you know why we were so amazed to hear the meow after a whole year.

We open the door to find her outside, a little hesitant, a little scared, and we soon figured why……….she’d brought her kitten with her. 

The reference to Born Free, for those not familiar, is the movie ‘Born Free’ which is based on a true story of a game warden couple who bring up a lion cub and at a point when they can’t keep her anymore they train and release it into the wild, and when they go back to visit a year or so later, she comes back to see them with her cubs.

If the tears came through in the movie at that moment, they did again, at home in this moment. Tears of being touched. The tears that capture moments worthwhile.

5 lessons Muhammad Ali taught the world

A nice write up from Rediff.com

A civil right activist, legend and "the greatest". Muhammad Ali wasn't just one of the best boxing champions in the world, he was also known for his courage, quick wit and sharp tongue.

Muhammad Ali aka Cassius Clay died at the age of 74 on June 3 '2016, after a 32-year battle with Parkinson's disease.

Legend has it that at the age of 12, he was fuming over a thief taking his bicycle, and he told the police officer that he was going to 'whup' the thief. The officer first told him to learn how to box; thus began the stupendous journey of the legend that is Muhammad Ali.

While many controversies surround Muhammad Ali, he would always back his talk with action.

Today, as we remember this boxing legend, here are the top five things you can learn from this boxing champion:

1. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, your hands can't hit what the eyes can't see" – Muhammad Ali

The famous quote used by Ali, was stated when he beat the then world heavyweight champion Sonny Liston the second time in an reported 30-second knockout.

These words simply showed how quick Ali was in the ring and holds a great lesson for entrepreneurs, especially.

During your life's journey too, there will be times when you have to be quick and look for opportunities to bring on your 'sting'.

2. Never back down

"I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'." -- Muhammad Ali

A controversial legend in every way, Ali was known for his never-say-die and never-back-down attitude.

Known to be extremely scrupulous, he even gave up what he called 'his slave name' Cassius Clay to take on a new name -- Muhammad Ali.

He was vocal about racism and is believed to have even thrown his Olympic Gold in the river when he was refused service at a soda fountain due to racism.

Ali believed in his rights and stuck to it till the very end.

3. "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them, a desire, a dream, a vision"

In a world where white supremacy was at its peak, Muhammad Ali carved a niche for himself.

Apart from fighting in the ring, Ali faced opposition from different classes.

While deeply offended and hurt by the racism he faced, he continued on and that can be attributed to his belief in himself and his passion to become a world-famous boxing champion.

He believed: "Hating people because of their colour is wrong. And it doesn't matter which colour does the hating. It's just plain wrong."

4. "'Impossible' is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing."

Ali had to often swim against the tide.

When he beat Liston, there was an uproar and people assumed he had cheated. But none of the accusations held ground and people came to understand he indeed was one of the best boxers they had seen.

The outspoken Ali always believed that there were times when life doesn't give you the best circumstances, but if you have passion, desire and vision you can achieve whatever you want in the worst circumstances.

5. It is never too late to learn new things in life

"A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life."

While strong in his views and beliefs, Ali was one of the few people in this world who had the power and courage to define the terms of his public reputation.

By the age of 22, Ali had become the youngest boxer to take the title from a reigning heavyweight champion.

From changing to Islam to later taking on Sufism, Ali did things against the norm and went on to learn new things. And that is what he taught the world -- to never stop learning.

Sabrina

Well, who'd have thought you could still so enjoy a 1954 movie, but honestly.....I enjoyed every minute of it. The laugh aloud, and feel deep down good kind of joy.

                

It's stuff that fairy tales are made of.......a mix of Cinderella, Ugly duckling, Snow White....the best of those.

Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Boghart and William Holden bring the fairy tale alive. Poor girl, Rich boy. Simpleton turned Lady. Attempted sabotage to real love. The makes.

Sabrina as the poor girl, the chauffeurs daughter has a major crush on David...... even climbing over trees to overlook the fancy parties and blatant flirtations of David. He, of course, doesn't seem to know she exists. The Poor girl then goes off to Paris for a one year course in cooking, coming back the classy and elegant lady ( a la another favorite, My Fair Lady), so transformed that David doesn't even recognize her, and now downright wants her.

Linus, the serious and responsible brother tries hard to separate the two, and in the process falls in love with her...and of course she with him. Well....it is fairy tale material :)

And what's best is that we're ready to flow, no skepticism whatsoever, be it that David doesn't recognize her when she's back, or that she doesn't realize that Linus is trying to keep her away from David, or that Linus is unaware that he is falling in love with her......we're happy to believe the happy stuff.

All part of the magic that's  quintessential romantic. 

Choose Your 'Worry'

'Worry' is natural. It's familiar space. And sure.....it has it's place in life.

But I do believe it's got way too much space than it ought.

                                   

Is the inner drawing a circle?

It actually is.......but seems irregular, right? When the mind is clogged, it has the ability to warp anything within, and I thought the picture brings that out beautifully.

Interestingly, the free dictionary.com traces the root of the word 'Worry' to 'Wyrgan' meaning 'to strangle'. (It's moments like this which make you realize just how intuitive the process of language evolution has been).

Worry can actually do that. Tie up and make useless a significant part of your mind.

But then, let's face it...life isn't necessarily a bed of roses, and so, worry is a pre-requisite. The irony of it is that even if it were a bed of roses, we'd still worry, as boredom can be as worrying as a complex problem is.

Worrying about a situation that's threatening, either circumstance or health or livelihood or whatever makes total sense. Worry enables you to get closer to the problem and then look for it's solution.

But unfortunately worry has a way of morphing from vigilance and concern into that unhealthy, all consuming space that evolves into a background preoccupation. And when you're worrying about issues or situations you have no control over, it's going to leave less space for worrying or thinking about issues that you do have control over. It sort of metaphorically strangles you. 

What's worked well for me: Can we distinguish between worrying over a 'controllable' and a 'non controllable'?

The controllable is part of 'vigilant' and 'concern'...pay attention, identify the issue, figure what you can do, do it....and stop the worrying.

The non controllable? Take a stand...... fully accept it. Dump the worry.

You'd be amazed at how much clutter gets thrown out of the mind, and how much space there is to focus on the more important stuff in life.....especially on the 'here and now'.  A little tool with huge impact :)

A Night at 'Sway'

'Sway' is Amit's newest....... a Terrace Bistro. I'm yet not tuned into what the finer differences between a Pub, Restaurant, Bistro, Sports Bar, Restobar, Loungebar and so on, are, but I can say, 'Sway' was simply beautiful.

What's really innovative and worthy of a solid pat is how these guys ( Amit, and his partners Ray and Prom, who btw are all classmates from school ) converted the open terrace of their existing pub into this charming and swanky place.

                            

It's at a split level, with a nice view of the Bangalore skyline.
                           

The decor is quaint and charming, and they play great music too....and what's best, it's music I could recognize :). Look at these quirky lights, it's fairy lights in a jar, again designed by their own friends.

That's Amit with Guru who's the master chef, on his home turf, the kitchen. Again a friend from school, who's spent almost a decade sharpening culinary expertise in Australia. Some real fancy stuff he can dish out (pun intended),  including the best Apple Crumble Pie I've eaten.

While a lot of what we ate looked as exotic as it tasted, the only one I had the presence of mind to get a shot of is this . Don't know the fancy name...... it's chicken wrapped in bacon.

Well, that's us, after a happy and high evening

And I must add, Amit is one of the biggest and gourmet'est foodies I know. If ever I need an instance of finding a 'career in your area of passion', he'd be on top of the list.

And what was wonderful is that Sway got a lovely review in the Times this morning.

Congratulations Amit,  you sure have come a long long way.......proud of you !!!

Transitions

From Seth

Coming and Going matter far more than what happens in the middle.

Opening things.
Closing them.
Tearing off the bandage.
Losing something.
Meeting someone new.
Getting on the airplane, getting off of it.
Being greeted.
Elections.
Ending a feud.

We mistakenly spend most of our time thinking about, working on and measuring the in-between parts, imagining that this is the meat of it, the important work. In fact, humans remember the transitions, because it's moments of change and possibility and trepidation that light us up.

Water Consciousness

Yet another of the Marvels,  or should we say Miracles of nature. We've always heard of the beauty of snowflakes, also how no two snowflakes are alike.

Here's something closer home.  A frozen water crystal

              

Water apparently has the ability to absorb and store the memory of any substance it is exposed to......hold your breath.....including music and thoughts.

And as we all already know from school...water has no color, no taste, no odor. Maybe precisely for this.

The most well known of names in experiments with water is Dr. Masaru Emoto who through the 1900's performed a series of experiments observing the physical effect of words, music and environment on the crystalline structure of water. 

Emoto hired photographers to take pictures of water after being exposed to the different variables, and subsequently frozen so that they would form crystalline structures and the results were nothing short of remarkable..

Biwako Lake(polluted)                        Shimanto River (clean)

                  

Water crystals exposed to music

Imagine, John Lennon                    Mozart, Symphony 40                     Heartbreak Hotel, Elvis Presley                              

Fuji River, Japan                      River Ganges, India

                       

Dr.Emoto went on to do experiments on water with positive and negative thoughts, and found that crystals of water stamped with positive words were much more beautiful and aesthetic, while those with negative actually reflected the negativity visually.

The scientific community took a long while accepting Dr.Emoto's work, and two years back just when he was to have a high level scientific conversation, he passed away.

His claim was that human consciousness has an impact on the molecular structure of water.

Today, new research from the Aerospace Institute of the University of Stuttgart in Germany supports the theory that water has a memory, and research is ongoing.

But for now....just to ponder the mystery of it.

And knowing that water occupies 75% of the earth's surface, and 78% of the human body....just the wonder of it all is so fascinating.

The Power of Thought

We've all heard lots on the Power of Thought...The Power of Intent.

It's not new....but let's try and understand a little more on how it works.

A small experiment to just show how the power of thought is something we experience on regular basis, even on our own bodies, but we're pretty much not conscious of it. And then we'll see how this stretches into the world beyond ourselves.

The easy one: Close your eyes, center yourself a little, and think of a nice...sweet.... juicy lemon. Cut it. Smell it. Lick it. Feel the taste........Mouth salivates?

A step further...Close your eyes. Center yourself. Think you've just landed in Manali.  It's cold and windy outside. You're going to the Everest base camp. You're surrounded by snow and there's a raging blizzard outside. You stay with that a few minutes and your body will soon start to feel cold.

Little more intense; there have been experiments under simple hypnosis, when a client is told that a burning cigarette is pressing into his palm. The cigarette used is not lit. Yet the palm develops a burn.

The Subconscious mind does not distinguish imagination and reality. It only reads the thought.

Just as the thought can make things happen on the body, it can also travel beyond.

Again, examples from everyday life.....knowing who's calling when the phone rings.... knowing which song is going to be played on the radio even before it starts playing.

How does this happen?

All physical reality is made up of vibrations of energy. And your thoughts too are vibrations of energy, just at a different frequency. And for the skeptics, this is no longer random concept or belief, it's what quantum physics says.

The more you think the same thought, the more power to that particular strand of vibration. And the Subconscious mind does not discriminate, it will equally earnestly manifest success or abundance, as it will failure or lack. It's mandate is to make that thought happen.

Focus on success and you attract success. Focus on fear and failure and you attract fear and failure. The whole concept of affirmations is based on this.

Thought recognizes neither time nor space......and it's on this principle that remote healing is based, be it through Pranic Healing or Reiki.

And it's this that also explains Telepathy, Telekinesis, Teleportation, Clairvoyance and all such. Which is why all those who mastered it, keep saying 'anybody can do it'.

Yet, we're such cognitive beings, that our rationality kicks in with that seed of doubt. What's brilliant now is that it also has a nice rational explanation. It does open up a whole new world...... hop on, and be ready for the roller coaster ........after all we're yet learning to ride :)

The Upside of Anger

This is one movie that seeped into me slowly. 

A compelling story with strong and difficult characters......and flashes of dark humor, which I, as is, struggle with. It also cracked through some deep mindsets, which I didn't realize I had. 

                               

As story goes, after her husband runs off with his secretary, Terry (Joan Allen) is left to fend for herself and her four daughters. In the words of the youngest daughter, you get introduced to Terry as the once very sweet woman who is now in the total grip of anger and resentment.

                

The daughters deal with the abandoning by their father way better than their mother. They all seem smart and focused on what they want, and headstrong enough to  handle their mom's quiet seething anger and resentment in their own ways. Like Terry herself says, 'one of them hates me and the other three are working on it.'

As she slips into the stupor of anger and alcohol, she finds companionship in her neighbor and drinking buddy Danny (Kevin Kostner) a former base ball player, and current radio game host.

While the four girls are moving their own paths, and fairly comfortable accepting the quiet relationship between their mom and Danny, it's Terry who doesn't seem able to let them be. She's always trying, and making a royal mess of their situations. Intrusive, opinionated, rude.....all coming out of her own seething anger.

Joan Allen and Kevin Costner create these powerful but disturbing characters.... smart, intelligent ..... depressing, alcoholic ..... angry, unorganized ..... disrespectful, exasperating even and totally impervious to any need or suggestions of normalcy or goodness....and you learn to give them their space....or rather they take it.

It's a serious movie as is, but if you watch, you'll see it's transcending even the leveling with anger and resentment. It's intense and deep in provoking thought and a kind of horror at the tricks that life can play on you.

Chicken Soup for the Soul

Yesterday, I read a blog post on 'Chicken Soup for the Soul', and as I looked up from my laptop, straight ahead was my copy of  'Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

First reaction......the nostalgic pull, as the book was part of the going away gift I'd gotten from IDBI, Hyderabad when I was transferred out to Bangalore, way back in 1997. Picked it up...and it had this beautiful personal message. (the little things that make a huge difference). True to what it said, I actually reminiscenced for a bit. So many cherished memories. 

And then I started to browse through the book. As always, within half hour I'll hit some story which brings out the tears. 

It's such feel good stuff, and all true.......the thought in my head was, why is it that newspapers can't carry stuff like this on front page. I think it could alter the texture of the day to so many. 

Alongside instructions on how to read....savor like wine it said, it also spoke of sharing a story, and I decided I should. The book had a dog ear, and I'm putting here the story that was marked out. Another nostalgic connect. It was the story I'd picked to tell a bunch of kids who I used to do weekend spoken English with. I'd thought then it was pertinent to them, but now I see how it's as pertinent to me, us, anyone.

The Magic Pebbles 

"Why do we have to learn all this dumb stuff?". One of the complaints and questions I have heard most frequently from my students. I would answer it by recounting the following legend.

One night a group of nomads were preparing to retire for the evening when suddenly they were surrounded by a great light. They knew they were in the presence of a celestial being. With great anticipation, they awaited a heavenly message of great importance that they knew must be especially for them.

Finally the voice spoke"gather as many pebbles as you can. Put them in your saddle bags. Travel a day's journey and tomorrow night will find you glad and it will find you sad" 

After having departed, the nomads shared their disappointment and anger with each other. They had expected the revelation of a great universal truth that would enable them to create wealth, health and purpose for the world. But instead they were given a menial task that made no sense to them at all. However, the memory of the brilliance caused each one to pick up a few pebbles. 

They traveled a day's journey and that night when they reached into their saddle bags they discovered every pebble had become a diamond. They were glad they had diamonds, and they were sad they had not gathered more pebbles.

It was an experience I had with a student, I shall call Alan, early in my teaching career that illustrated the truth of the legend to me. When Alan was in the eighth grade he majored in trouble and suspensions. He was a bully and a thief.

Everyday I had my students memorize a quotation from a great thinker. As I called roll, I would begin a quotation. To be counted present, the student would be expected to finish the thought.

Alice....'There is no failure except..................."

"In no longer trying......'I'm present, Mr.Schlatter"

So, by the end of the year, my young charges would have memorized 150 great thoughts.

"Think you can, think you can't...either way you're right"

"If you can see the obstacles, you've taken your eyes off the goal"

"A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing"

"If you can conceive it, and believe it, you can achieve it"

No one complained of this daily routine more than Alan, right up to the day he was expelled, and I lost touch with him for five years. Then one day, he called. He was in a special program with one of the neighboring colleges and had just finished parole.

He told me that after being sent to juvenile hall and finally being shipped off to California Youth Authority for his antics, he had become so disgusted with himself that he had taken a razor blade and cut his wrists.

He said "You know what Mr.Schlatter, as I lay there with my life running out of my body, I suddenly remembered that dumb quote you made me write twenty times one day. "There is no failure except in no longer trying". Then it suddenly made sense to me. As long as I was alive, I wasn't a failure, but if I allowed myself to die, I would most certainly die a failure. So with my remaining strength, I called for help and started a new life".

At the time he had heard the quotation, it was a pebble. When he needed guidance in a moment of crisis, it had become a diamond. And so it to you I say, gather all the pebbles you can, and you can count on a future filled with diamonds.

John Wayne Schlatter

I really wish every teacher and every school could just incorporate this into system. So many pebbles.....so many great thoughts imbibed. So simple and profound a habit. Wonderful stuff .

The Subconscious Mind - A Deep Dive

While we're all familiar with the fact that we have a Subconscious mind, there's very few of us who know how it works, what it's role is, how much of what we do is governed by it.

Maybe you'll ask the 'Why'...... 'Why do we need to know?'

                                         

Because....it can be a powerful ally. Once you understand it, you can actually learn to harness it. It's after all you. It's just that it's highly programmed based on past experiences, and functions from that space. It's just about how we can access it.

Think about it. There's tons of books out there that tell you how to be a great leader, and they're all good stuff..... yet we have very few great leaders.

There's tons of books on how to get rich, good stuff again, yet we all think....if we could read a book and get rich, the whole world would be rich, haha.

There's books on how to make relationships work. Again, the same...we all want to, but how many of us can sustain great relationships.

So, Why?

Why is it that we seem to know what we want, know what we need to do....... yet don't get there?

It's because it's the Subconscious mind that's controlling your behavior....and believe it or not, to a large extent it controls your external reality as well.

Let's try and get a little more familiar with this hidden and mysterious facet of ourselves.

I'll take this in two parts. First, what it's about and how it controls behavior. (the controls external reality, another time, another day :)

                      

Recall Understanding the Mind?  We said the conscious mind was 12% and the Subconscious mind 88% of the mind. And because it works on pre-programming it's way way more powerful.

And the subconscious mind in turn had two components; the modern memory,and the primitive memory. For the purpose of this write up, let's stay with Modern memory. 

Modern memory is each and every memory that's been sensed by the body since the time of birth. Sensory plus Feeling. It is a ware house, a data base of every single memory of your's, and it's capacity is unlimited. 

Under hypnosis, older people can often remember, with perfect clarity, events from fifty years before. Your unconscious memory is virtually perfect. It is your conscious recall that is suspect.

And it stores all of these experiences in patterns, and the patterns start to form early in life, pretty much done by the age of 8.  And that's set the stage for the programming.

And then, it's job is to ensure you respond exactly the way you were programmed. Your subconscious mind makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with your self-concept, your “master program.”

The subconscious mind has no volition of its own. It will simply act upon what resides and vibrates within.

Your subconscious mind has what is called a homeostatic impulse.

Homeostatis by definition is the tendency to come back to balance or equilibrium.

For instance, the heartbeat...in fear or exercise it gets rapid, and its the subconscious that brings it back to equilibrium. It's also for instance what keeps your body temperature at your 98.4 C.

And on the same principle, the subconscious works on the mental realm, by keeping you thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done and said in the past, based on which it's been programmed. For instance, if the child has been exposed to clear hierarchy in decision making in childhood, that will be the homeostatic state for that adult.

Which is why behavior patterns are so difficult to change.

But then, this is exactly where we can harness it. It does not think. Your conscious mind commands and your subconscious mind obeys.

"Your subconscious mind is an unquestioning servant that works day and night to make your behavior fits a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your subconscious mind grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create."

All your comfort zones, pleasurable or painful are memorized and patterned, and it works to keep you in them.

Your subconscious mind causes you to feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable whenever you attempt to do anything new or different, or to change any of your established patterns of behavior.

The key is to change those patterns. First become conscious of them. We are so attached to this image of what we are and how we think, that even the thought of consciously changing a pattern seems alien.

But think about it. Think of other perspectives. Better still....think of non judgmental. Think of it deep..deep...deep.

Play around with the idea. How empowering would it be to move from that 12%......move to 20, then 40, then 70, then 90......and at 100, you'd be Jesus. 

Freud said, “We learn as children how we react emotionally and this is carried into adulthood. When we are children, we do not have the faculties that we do in adulthood. We do not know what we are going to need in adulthood to cope. Therefore, as adults we (often) react as children.”

Whether Buddha or Jesus....what they really did was to harness their entire minds into the present.

Maybe we don't want to be Buddha or Jesus........ but we can surely shift that bar....become better me's :)

Striking a Chord

From Seth

Commonly misunderstood and misspelled as "striking a cord."

A cord is a single strand that connects. You can strike a cord, but not much happens.

A chord, on the other hand, is the resonance of multiple cords, more than one vibrating together.

That's rare, and worth seeking out.

It probably won't happen if you don't do it on purpose.

Where the Bees Go

We've all heard n number of times about 'focusing on change within, rather than on the external'  

In context of a product launch in Google, if I remember right, there was discussion on customer opinion and market need and feedback and stuff......... and this wise guy comes up with 'focus on your product, and the users will come.....make your nectar sweet and the bees will come'. 

This applies not just to a product, but across the board. It's just this subtle shift in focus.

You want others behavior to change....look inward, and change within, and this will invariably influence the dynamic

You want more readers on your blog....don't focus on spreading the word, focus on your writing

You want to achieve that sales target....focus on process and your pitch

You get the drift.....

                       Diksha's pic , on the way to Coonoor

This tree, which I used in yesterday's post, kind of exemplified this for me. It was a lone tree, nice, full spread, healthy, pretty spaced out.......... and, had almost thirty huge beehives on it. Look closely and you'll see them.

We did our oohs and aaahs on it.......this was in Bandipur, on our way to Coonoor, but missed a picture. We thought there would be many more such trees, but surprise, surprise, there wasn't even one other.(In fact we got the picture of the same tree on our way back.)

Guess it's doing something different. All the bees are there :)

And this kind of also shows how it's that 1 out of  100 who seem to crack that code. The power is really within, work on it, not just superficially, but authentically.......shift the energy within, and watch your whole universe change. Nice aha there !

To “LET GO” Takes Love

TO “LET GO” TAKES LOVE
by author unknown

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off,
it is the realisation I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is not to care for,
but to care about.

To “let go” is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arranging the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies,

To “let go” is not to be protective,
but to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny,
but to accept.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take every day as it comes, and to cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To “let go” is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and love more.