Dhruva's Convocation

A moment of pride and accomplishment.

Completion of Dhruva's five year course in Design Animation. It's an event and a ritual that marks a milestone in life.... a rite of passage of sorts.

This was well captured when his thatha asked him if he was going to miss his life in Pune and he said "I guess I will, it's been home for five years, but I'm also excited about what's going to be ahead" 

In an event that's choreographed and set, there were yet a couple of nice surprises. One was in the inaugural speech by the Director when he read out achievements of students, was so wonderful to hear Dhruva's name called out for his short film being accepted at two film fests....at Mexico and Italy. 

A smaller one was when he spoke of their institutes tie ups with companies, was nice to hear SELCO mentioned in the first few and like diksha said, all four of them turned and looked at me. A nice and personal connect, more so since I'm back to consulting with SELCO.

The event in pictures captured for posterity:

The moment

The stage, and Dhruva walking up for his certificate

A full audience against the backdrop of his college

Diana, Sagar, Dhruva and Vishal

With Aroop Sir

With his board displaying the making of his short film titled 'Freedom'

A hug from thatha

With Diksha, and Ammamma proudly displaying his certificate

A family pic

My moment with him (in or on their logo)

Next day he gave his thatha and ammamma a tour of his university. Backdrop is the mulamutha river which runs through their campus.

A goodbye to skinny, a big part of his life in MIT.....who he has known over four years, since she was a little pup.... and to who he gave special credits in his final film.

Leaving the hostel, with skinny looking on

Dhruva, Huge Huge Congratulations for successfully completing, and enjoying, an eventful and fulfilling five years ....and welcome back home !!

A Travel Packed Week

Travel typically can bring with it a truckload of new experiences, and when we do disparate travel within the week, it's like time stretches in the process of accommodating the experiences.

The week was four days at the 'Jim Corbett Tiger Reserve', and three days at Delhi at a family wedding.... two totally contrasting experiences. Last day of trip, it came through best when we were going through the pictures, and diksha's like  "gosh ma, it feels like Corbett was a long while ago"

Jim Corbett is a tiger reserve in Uttarkhand, in the foothills of the Himalayas.....mountains and rivers and forests, and Delhi was family and mehendi and sangeet and shaadi.....amazingly different...... each as rich and beautiful.

To go chronologically, it started with one of my scariest adventures.

We found ourselves on the road, well within the corbett reserve, at eleven at night......steep ghats, not a single car on the road, an elephant corridor of the tiger reserve, an inexperienced and scared driver, all of us hungry, not sure of our way, intermittent connectivity so no gps, no one to ask directions.  At ten we entered the reserve area, past the police checkpost which does not allow movement into the reserve after eight pm (we had no back up plan if they hadn't let us pass)......so much so the next day the kids were like, "we've never seen you panicked like that ma, what happened to you".

To validate their perception, yes I was unusually scared, because the thought in my head was 'what if there's a car breakdown'.

Worse.... topic of discussion just gravitated to intense elephant stories, and dhruva's like "if it's a herd we wait it out, but if a rogue elephant appears, that will be our Jurassic moment.... but damn, we're in the ghats! " :)

Why did the plan go so awry? Well, the drive from Delhi to Corbett was said to be six hours; our flight landed an hour late, we got stcuk in a one hour traffic jam in Delhi, and sterling, our place of stay was a further hour away from Corbett. So what was to be eta of 8 pm became 11 pm.

Different story that we saw one of our best night sky views on that road, me just wishing I'd had the nerves to enjoy it a little bit more. In fact Dhruva was really keen on going back the next day to catch the night sky, but my fear was yet too raw, I had to veto a 'no' much to his anger and dismay (and to my own disappointment at having to take a practical decision.....it's so not me)

While I can write plenty about those experiences, Corbett and Delhi, (and will too) what was also fascinating was the textural difference in experience when the three of us stayed in one room for a whole week..... no tv, no friends, no phone connectivity.....enables touching layers otherwise not often touched..... again a deeply lovely and enriching experience.

Rest in experiential pieces :)

That's for locational perspective, Uttaranchal, where the Corbett reserve is located.

A meaningful 'sorry' matters....

A little incident which brought this out in depth (pun intended)

I was out buying samosas with mom yest, and she told me this:

"I was cleaning a draw and at the base I found a card from you, from 1988. And I remembered.....you had come to my office, all the way to vidyanagar, to give it to me. You had written 'I'm sorry ma, didn't mean to hurt you, I know that conversation went bad and it was my own frustrations that came out onto you. Really didn't mean to hurt you. I know you are worried about what I'm getting into, but believe me, I am even more so. Please trust me on it. Sorry again"

I was at first amused, it's after all from thirty years back. And then touched......not as much about the content or card , but the fact that she still had it. She's moved houses and she's apparently moved it with her...a moment or an experience that's meant enough to hold on to.

While it's ideal that we don't get into situations that need apologies, we yet do....being human I guess, and for folks like me who are more impetuous and impulsive, more so. 

This worked as a reiteration of how any effort to 'own the behavior' and 'communicate the sorry' is after all, worthwhile.  

Ten Habits of Incredibly Happy People

A nice list from Travis Bradberry .........

Happiness is synthetic—you either create it, or you don’t. Happiness that lasts is earned through your habits. Supremely happy people have honed habits that maintain their happiness day in, day out. Try out their habits, and see what they do for you:

1. They slow down to appreciate life’s little pleasures.

By nature, we fall into routines. In some ways, this is a good thing. It saves precious brainpower and creates comfort. However, sometimes you get so caught up in your routine that you fail to appreciate the little things in life. Happy people know how important it is to savor the taste of their meal, revel in the amazing conversation they just had, or even just step outside to take a deep breath of fresh air.

2. They exercise.

Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes your brain feel soothed and keeps you in control of your impulses. Happy people schedule regular exercise and follow through on it because they know it pays huge dividends for their mood.

3. They spend money on other people.

Research shows that spending money on other people makes you much happier than spending it on yourself. This is especially true of small things that demonstrate effort, such as going out of your way to buy your friend a book that you know they will like.

4. They surround themselves with the right people.

Happiness spreads through people. Surrounding yourself with happy people builds confidence, stimulates creativity, and it’s flat-out fun. Hanging around negative people has the opposite effect. 

5. They stay positive.

Bad things happen to everyone, including happy people. Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have been, happy people reflect on everything they’re grateful for. Then they find the best solution available to the problem, tackle it, and move on. Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. 

6. They get enough sleep.

When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, removing toxic proteins that accumulate during the day as byproducts of normal neuronal activity. Sleep deprivation also raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. Happy people make sleep a priority.

7. They have deep conversations.

Happy people know that happiness and substance go hand-in-hand.  They engage with other people on a deeper level, because they know that doing so feels good, builds an emotional connection, and is an interesting way to learn.

8. They help others.

Taking the time to help people not only makes them happy, but it also makes you happy. Helping other people gives you a surge of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, all of which create good feelings. As long as you make certain that you aren’t overcommitting yourself, helping others is sure to have a positive influence on your mood.

9. They make an effort to be happy.

No one wakes up feeling happy every day and supremely happy people are no exception. They just work at it harder than everyone else. They know how easy it is to get sucked into a routine where you don’t monitor your emotions or actively try to be happy and positive. Happy people constantly evaluate their moods and make decisions with their happiness in mind.

10. They have a growth mindset.

People’s core attitudes fall into one of two categories: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. With a fixed mindset, you believe you are who you are and you cannot change. This creates problems when you’re challenged, because anything that appears to be more than you can handle is bound to make you feel hopeless and overwhelmed. 

People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with effort. This makes them happier because they are better at handling difficulties. They also outperform those with a fixed mindset because they embrace challenges, treating them as opportunities to learn something new.

Find the one's which work for you :)

Musings - When feelings conflict

It's fascinating when you start to see opposing feelings playing out within you. Opposing feelings from the same source.

Happens quite often right?

I write about it because I'm sitting with it right now, lots of trepidation, and anticipation ..... and I find that the anticipation is struggling to stay put. 

I have four travel plans coming up in real quick succession, and it's calling for so much planning and coordination, not to speak of ticketing, accommodation, logistics, shopping .....all at 4x times. Default seems to be the weight of trepidation taking over, there's just so much of it, and it's taking an effort to see beyond it.......having to search for 'where is the fun element in this?'.

It's all there, it's just about which one do you want to pay attention to. Almost like it's taken this bit of writing to even clear the way for the anticipation to surface. 

This I guess holds true for a lot of what happens in life. At home, at work, in relationships...... in being. Negativity trumps Positivity is as subtle as it's true.......can happen without our even noticing.

Helps to be aware....for all around, as also for self.

Fitting in all the way

From Seth

It seems like a fine way to earn trust. Merely fit in. In every way. Don't do anything to draw attention to yourself, to be left out, to challenge the status quo. Go along with the crowd to get ahead.

That doesn't build trust. It simply makes you easy to overlook.

We build trust when we make promises and then keep them.

And the majority recoils from the challenge of making a promise, because that requires caring and risk and the willingness to make change happen.

You can't fit all the way in, but you can definitely choose to stand out.

Padmaavat

Powerful

When the movie ended, I couldn't get off my seat. I like sitting till the credits roll out...but this time round I knew it was more...... I wasn't ready to step out of the story yet. That intense.

It's based on a 15th century poem of like name by Malik Muhammad Jayasi, on Rani Padmini, queen of Chittorgarh in the 13th century, medieval India.

It has for framework the period when Jalaluddin Khilji came from Afghanistan to conquer Delhi. His nephew is Allauddin Khilji, who we may remember from our history books for being a tyrannical ruler who ruthlessly conquered the smaller Rajput kingdoms, and made them part of the Delhi Sultanate.

The film opens with the Khiljis. We meet Allauddin Khilji as a man who has scant respect for rules or for women or even for people....and we later see that he has respect for nothing, value for nothing. He gets what he wants, and he now has his eyes set on Padmavati, and what starts as a fad, becomes an obsession to the almost clinically narcissistic Allauddin.

When we first meet Padmaavati, at a hunt in a forest, you see a free spirited woman, joy in her eyes, air under her feet....her courage, valor...it's all there. And if the movie ends with her decision of 'jauhar' you know it's the very same will and valor that's playing out. A clear choice. A preference to take ones own life rather than go through enslavement and rape, a known outcome of a war lost to Allauddin.

Padmaavati, known for her intelligence, sense of justice and exceptional beauty, becomes queen of Maharawal Ratan Singh, the King of Chittorgarh. The chemistry between them is palpable, and the connect while at one time deep, is also deeply differentiated, making it an interesting dynamic.

You can feel for (or with) Padmaavati, and yet understand Ratan Singh, for his steadfast thinking, and even what can seem like tactically bad decision making, knowing they come from a single minded alignment to principles.

(Interval discussion I'm telling Dhruva how she seems more sensible and right, and he's like, "ma, look at what it takes to be that guy, his clarity, his principles, what we need at the helm today are people like him") 

The first half of the film is almost like a lead up, a building of context, you get to know each of them from the inside, and then you see how the dynamics pit against one another.

Two more characters that make a strong impression are Allauddin's wife Meherunissa, who we meet as a young and impressionable girl and her transformation as she realizes what she's married to, through to her finding her own strength. Powerful performance, and very pretty too.

The other is Malik Kafur (Jim Sarbh) a slave cum companion to Allauddin. I thought it was bold how you see not just commitment but also love and lust for each other. Bansali let him wear his bisexuality with a casualness and ease that felt bold for hindi mainstream cinema. Nothing effiminate or gay there....macho bisexuality is what one sees. You can tell from the laughs that there's a nervousness there rather than humor.

The film is rife with symbolism, be it in the colour schemes, the sound tracks the cinematography....so much attention to detail, that I feel I could watch multiple times and see more each time.

It's also very different from his earlier large canvas films like Bajirao Mastani or Devdas. While I loved both those films as well, they had as strength, romance, war, love, settings, costumes, grandeur. Here it's like all that goes into background. Foreground is the people, the psychological space, their inner personalities, each standing strong to their own spirit and will.

I'm amazed that there are so many negative reviews starting right from muslim denigration and jauhar romanticizing and non detailing of settings and costumes.....why is it that people will see whats 'negative' or 'not there'. What would it take to see it as a depiction of history from the 13th century without having to judge.

A visually and psychologically spectacular movie !