The Little Girl With An Umbrella

A Story......

“Ah! There has been no rain for almost a year now!”

“How are we to feed our families?”

“It is a curse on us… we need to appease the gods!”

The gathering near the village banyan tree was a spectacle of distress. The village headman was thrown in deep concern as he contemplated a way out of the severe drought the village was facing.

After much thought, he announced, “Let the entire village start preparing for the grand service to the rain god, two days from now. I am sure the plea of a thousand hearts would not go unheard!”

The news was spread and the convinced villagers started preparing for the grand service. On the auspicious day, the entire village assembled at the place where the worship was to take place.

But only a little girl came with an umbrella!

What is the level of faith you have in many things you do... Is your doubt, a cause for your own failures?

The Shirodhara Experience

An indulgence I gave myself my last week in Bangalore. And why I call it indulgence, is because this picture of a shirodhara has been enticing me for many a year now. Last week on my walk I happened to pass by this ayurvedic clinic called 'Shathayu', and saw the picture even from the street.....and guess the time had come. 

                              

Shirodhara is a unique ayurvedic body therapy that mainly includes the gentle, and continuous pouring of a stream of warm herbal oil over the forehead or the ajna chakra. It's done for a continuous thirty to forty five minutes.

I was initially tuned into consciously capturing the experience, yet within minutes the profoundly soothing sensation of the warm oil enveloping the forehead seemed to shift me into a different space of being....a kind of passive meditative state. As it pulls you into itself, and you surrender to the sensations, you realize that it is not a state of sleep, but one of a deep centered awareness that takes over and that's why I use the word meditative. It's like time stops.

As the oil flows onto the ajna chakra area, it is said to be highly therapeutic as it reached the deepest recesses of the brain and creates a vibrational frequency that impacts the entire nervous system and sets the body into balance. 

I understood why it said.....'to soothen body, mind and soul'. I'm waiting for my next :)

The Holy Cat

A story:

Once there was an Ashram near Varanasi, where a guru lived with his disciples. Also living in this ashram was a cat. The cat was well fed and well loved by everyone in the Ashram. 

Each time the guru sat for chanting and worship with his disciples, the ashram cat would nuzzle and mew, and this distracted the disciples. So the guru said that during chanting and meditation time the cat should be tied to a post in another room. 

That done, daily order was restored. 

After a few years......the guru died, the disciples continues the ritual of tying the cat during meditation time. 

A couple years later, the sweet cat also died. The disciples after serious deliberation went and bought another cat and tied it to the same post in the ashram to make sure the guru's orders were observed faithfully.

Centuries passed and learned treatises were written by the guru's scholarly disciples on the ritualistic significance of tying up a cat while meditating.

'What holds you from seeking to know why you do what you do....to understand the purpose of the many things you do in life'

'Counselling'

It's been a full year of immersion in the Counselling Training Course at Parivarthan. Through the year, as friends asked 'What is it it about', 'What kind of counselling are you going to do', 'Which theory is it based on' 'How would you go about it' , I found I had a different answer each time. 

Well, why?

'Counselling' is a fairly wide, and relatively new concept, and there is no one phrase or definition to explain it. Counselling as a profession came of age only in the 1950s, and is closely linked to many earlier theories and approaches. 

On the what it is.... maybe in simple terms, it's a process that facilitates the client  to explore, discover and clarify ways of living more satisfactorily, meaningfully and resourcefully.  Life is dynamic and it could throw those curved balls at you. Change happens, and it can put you off gear. Many of us live with stress or restlessness at varying levels...arising from situations, relationships, work, health, death, finding meaning.......reasons are many. 

We mostly cope.....at times 'help' helps.

The question to also ask is..Is life about coping, or is it about living authentically and joyfully.

Awareness is empowering. Counselling enables deeper awareness. It enables an understanding of the 'issue' and or 'yourself' in a new light. It's like, by seeking therapy, you are choosing to take responsibility for your own life, to recognize and acknowledge your humanness, and to seek to find new strengths within yourself. 

Guess I could go on with the what of it. But let's also look at the historical perspective, to understand it a little better.

Think psychology and Freud's there. His biggest contribution...to know that a lot of 'how we think' and 'what we do', and 'what we are' comes from the unconscious space.

While he founded and mastered psychoanalysis, considering he was from an acutely male dominated and class ridden time, plus being a jew during the anti semitic movement, there were themes in his writing which did not sit well with many of the psychology thinkers, especially of the US. Foremost amongst these were Carl Rogers, Eric Berne, Albert Erickson and Abraham Maslow who reinterpreted Freud. Some well known theories are Existentialism, Transactional Analysis, Hierarchy of Needs, Stages of Psycho Social Development, Family Systems Theory and Gestalt. (Gestalt is a personal favorite)

It is believed there are more than 400 distinct models of counselling and psychotherapy. The fact that this whole field of study is of relatively recent origin, mostly between 1950 to 1970, seems to be the reason why there has not yet been time for the explosion of ideas to have been integrated into a unified approach.

Despite the movement in favor of theoretical unification and integration, it is widely accepted that there are three core approaches to viewing the 'human being and their emotional and behavioral issues':

a) Psychodynamic, b) Cognitive Behavior and c) Humanistic 

And while there is an overlap at many levels. on the whole, Psychodynamic counsellors focus primarily on 'insight', Humanistic on 'Self Acceptance' and 'Personal Freedom' and Cognitive Behavior Therapists on 'Management and Control of Behavior'.

Any valid counselling approach should be flexible enough to use the therapeutic relationship, along with the theory most relevant to the well being of the client, at that point of time. An integrated approach so to say.

And that is what I think the course has equipped.....in terms of Awareness, Skills, Theory and Being.

If you're interested in knowing more, I'd be happy to do a chat offline. Email id  is smithadevara@gmail.com

Bye Bye Bangalore

You go anywhere in Bangalore, and you cannot miss these pretty pink trees on the roads. They are right now in full bloom, and just so breathtakingly pretty. I saw this one when I stepped out of Parivarthan for the last time this morning, and I thought it was the perfect picture to capture my last post from Bangalore. 

And then I recalled a picture from a couple months back, also as I parked near Parivarthan......as it seemed an earnest experience of autumn 

                                      

An earlier picture from winter on one of my early morning walks

                                   

And this one house, again from my drive back from Parivarthan. I'd make it a point to slow down for a deeper look almost each day. I used to look in wonder even when it was all green, and last week it was in absolute full bloom....this stunning yellow. A 'full of summer' look it had felt like.

                                    

As tribute to my stay here, these pictures talk of the beautiful seasons spent here......

When I called my dad a few days back and told him that my date of final return to Hyd was fixed, he asked "won't you miss Bangalore?".  I did pause.......I have after all grown to love Bangalore, and I was like, "hmmm......I don't know.......there's so many cherished times and spaces in my stay here, and an overall brilliantly fulfilling experience.....so much so it's just a part of me now... so let's just say I'm taking that with me"

And for these deeply meaningful and wonderful three years.....years I cherish with almost awe and gratitude......thank you Bangalore !!

The Black Book

Another Story:

One day a grieving man came to Hodja - the judge

"Your cow has killed mine!" he cried

                                     

Hodja shouted, "You silly man, how can the cow know that it is a crime to kill another cow. Case dismissed!"

"Pardon me," said the man, "I got it wrong, my cow has killed yours".

"Oh!!" said the judge, "Let's open the black book and see what it says"

How different are the standards you have set for yourself from the ones set for others... Have you studied your black book?

Ram's Love for the Veena

At times (in fact many a time) total chance enables some lovely events. 

When at Girija's, she happened to take me to the basement for something, and I see this Veena sitting there. I kind of knew Ram learnt the Veena, so I was like, 'you think he'll play if I ask', and she's like 'he's very shy, ask and see'.

Surprise, surprise, he not just agreed, but did a small kacheri for us. His knowledge of the raagas was so extensive that I listened in total wonder. Ram's mother was a carnatic sangeetham teacher plus a veena player, and the learning evidently goes back many many years. And then, he has himself been learning for five years now, and not just religiously goes every Saturday, but also practices even on work days. I was pretty impressed by the level of commitment.

He played some of his favorites...I recall Hindolam, Shivaranjani and something kuthuhalam. And I was so thrilled to recognize one song, Samaja Varagamana from Shankarabharanam.

Thanks Ram, for agreeing so spontaneously........for allowing a peep into this world you so apparently love and enjoy...and  for making that last visit something special.