A night without electricity

So what, right? What's the big deal.

True too.... yet, I found myself going through a kaleidoscope of emotions through the process. And thanks to this 'hovering awareness' that's become second nature now, it brought to clarity something quite interesting.

A clear and distinctive emotional graph, rather than a mixed kaleidoscope. Then somewhere the realization that a nicely curved graph, could actually be a positive thing....maybe even aspirational.

A point to note is that this was a not so intense, and rather quick emotional curve, and that's why the opportunity to observe.

At 9.00 pm current went out.

For a little while I sat around presuming it would be back. Within half hour saw the rest of the colony had current, and only our house didn't. Some disturbance felt there. ( annoyance kinds)

Then some checking of the fuse, then wondering if I'd paid the electricity bill. Both those quickly got sorted as non reasons. 

I was chatting on what's app and the only light in that pitch dark was my phone front light, which attracted so many little bugs, that the emotion turned to higher levels of anxiety and thinking.

How to sleep with so many bugs and no fan.

Diksha saying 'don't panic ma', which I didn't think I was, but obviously she saw something I didn't. (It's not often that the person in panic will admit to it:)

Then some frenetic attempts to contact the electricity department guys who each time said they were looking into it. 

So much drama in that two hours.

Soon the realization that it was a 'no go scene', one had done all that was possible, nothing more in our control, so time to make peace with the situation. And in that moment I suddenly knew it should be possible to sleep too. (all earlier doubts very sweetly disappeared). That's the clear space of acceptance.

Had a good nights sleep.

Next morning...was so surprised to find that current was yet not back.

Coffee done, saw that the laptop and phone batteries were down. 

And that's when the graph really shifted. A space of no phone, no laptop and no battery seemed interesting......an unexpected opportunity....it was just so full of new possibilities. (And as we all know, however appealing, this cannot be self imposed) 

And I started to get excited by the prospect.

The graph had gone through a full curve. When you move along the curve is when the excitement becomes palpable, so much more in awareness and cherished .

Here's what a rough curve would look like:

( If I had handled the 'pain of the power cut' with impassivity, I'd have handled the 'opportunity for silence' with the same impassivity too) 

You feel this...you feel that...... both with pretty much equal intensity.

It was like an experiential learning of the emotional philosophy........'as you can touch your spaces of vulnerability, so you experience the flow and the creative highs'. A straight graph can be peaceful, but it might not get you to the conscious awareness of the highs.

Embrace both to keep the mystery, curiosity and enthusiasm for life alive !