Don't Let Others Opinions Rattle You

Think about the last five times that something dragged you down.

There's good chance that four out of those would have been the consequence of another opinion....either something someone said, or someone did, or you perceived as someone thought. 

A casual remark by a colleague 

A slight from a friend

A fight with your spouse

A reprimand from your parents

Even a weird look at a store
A sideways glance by a neighbor

Think a little deeper into the issue. What does it make you feel?

Maybe sorry, angry, anxious, depressed, worried, small.....any one or more of those feelings, all those negative feelings which in essence touch a deep sad space within.

So much sadness and negativity triggered from an opinion that the other has about us....real or perceived being secondary...it's still about an opinion.

You'll find that a lot of those times, the negative feeling is caused by the 'lack of approval' or the 'actual disapproval' of others. The need for approval runs deep....it has been conditioned in us from the day we were born. Approval from others gives us a sense of higher self-esteem. We’re convinced that their approval and recognition matters to our self worth, and impacts how deeply we value ourselves.

In fact a lot of decisions that we take are again based on opinions ......approval or disapproval of others. Be it minor decisions like having a late night with friends ( if my husband says yes, but with a sulky face, the evenings gone) buying a pink dress or a purple dress ( oh..you think this looks better?).....or major ones like, do I quit my job, do I continue in a relationship, do I shift home .....we seem to allow another opinion to not just influence, but even direct a lot of our decisions, and thus largely the course of our lives itself.

So, do they think better, do they know you better than you know yourself, do they have a control over your life, do they have more rights ..............what is it?

Where is our own opinion here. 

It's a loop many of us are caught in, and what we need to get out of is a nice strong dose of self trust. Why do we trust the other over our own opinion. And very honestly, giving an opinion is so easy. Observe a little, and you'll start to see that they may not even be listening to their own opinion. They might in fact be mulling over your opinion of them (given as unthinkingly)

Can we think of claiming our own rightful space. Respect ourselves some more. Trust our thinking some more. Love ourselves some more.

And trust me, once you're there, you'll see magic happen....you'll see others respect you, trust you, and love you even more.