Can we talk about this?

This is a post from Seth's blog:

Can we talk about this?

Sometimes, words speak louder than actions.

Imagine how surprising and effective it would be if an infant said, "I'm so hungry, I feel like I might start to cry." Instead of guessing what the problem is, instead of finding ourselves emotionally fraught at all the screaming, we could get to the underlying truth of the problem.

Or consider how easy it is to get caught up with a co-worker who's disrespectful or a customer who is so distraught he can't see a way out of his problem. I've been to board meetings where the actions and the emotions were so loud it was difficult to hear what people really wanted to communicate.

It's easy to react, and it feels justified to do so. Tit for tat and "I'm not going to take this." But de-escalation through the power of words helps get to the truth far faster.

Commenting on the emotions that you are seeing is different than reflecting them back. Talking about what's happening defuses the storm that is just waiting to wreck the connection that could be so valuable. 

If the goal is connection, then connect.