Handling difficult situations

How do we handle a difficult situation when it presents itself?

Difficult situations can come in varied forms. They can be situational, ethical, physical, emotional, the list is endless.  For the purpose of this post I’m looking at one which involves another person. Let’s say we have a difficult situation where we’ve perceived something that’s upsetting.

Difficult situations typically mess with us. They muddle thinking, screw with emotions, cause anxiety, change behavior, and all of these could potentially impact reaction. And because we’re reacting, even before we know it, we could have a much worse situation on hand, perceived or real.

So lesson one, don’t immediately react

Let’s try to first sort it out in our own head. Use our intelligence to understand the situation to the extent possible. Very objectively….. Identify the trigger, get rid of clutter;  we’ll realize we’re making a lot of assumptions.

Lesson two: get rid of the assumptions and zero in on actual issue

Now we need to get clarity, see if there’s something we’re missing. Easiest I think is by talking to the  person involved; how else do we get the other perspective, right? And let’s understand it’s going to be difficult, because we’re in a place of conflict.

Lesson three: yet have that difficult conversation

These conversations can go so easily wrong, can typically get emotionally hijacked as people involved are in an emotionally charged state. So,  a few ground rules which really help:

Keep the emotions out, they put the other person in either an attack or defense state, and then we’ve lost objectivity

Listen!  when the other person speaks, pay full attention;  we’re mostly already thinking of our response, or worse still actually interrupting.  Don’t. The others have an opinion too.

Focus on the problem and not on the person.

See the other perspective. When you do, you’ll find the conflict dissipates, and more often than not acceptance comes in, sometimes even an actual solution.