Monday, August 25, 2014

A deep dive into 'acceptance'

Accept what you cannot change, Change what you cannot accept, and have the wisdom to know the difference.  Yes, I'm back there ....:)

Most of us seem to interpret this as 'acceptance' of what’s on the outside, typically acceptance of our own situations or of other people around us, which is what it also stands for surely, but I think a far more fundamental space is acceptance of oneself. That is a much larger challenge.

To know and to accept oneself

When I was in college, a favourite uncle took me to meet a  friend of his, one Mr. Unni Krishnan, who he said was like a munni or a seer, and he said I’d have five minutes to ask him questions. Under that kind of time pressure, I instead asked him to tell me what I needed to know, and he said…… I’ll tell you the three most important things in life; be aware, be aware and be aware.

Today, I understand the significance of what he said. That is the key principle behind acceptance of oneself. To accept, you first need to know, and the way to know is to be aware and alert at all times. And then we slowly become aware of what our real nature is, what really keeps us happy, keeps us in sync and in peace, and mostly in positive space.

By force of habit, we are always identified with the various roles we play through life; child, sibling, friend, lover, spouse, parent, employer, employee and then we’re conditioned to believe that everything we do is right, as long as it’s towards proper fulfillment of the role. 

Through this process we firstly, become dependent on another for our happiness and more significantly, we’re living roles rather than life.

Let’s look at what it means to live life, as it’s only by being true to oneself, can one really be true to any other.  

7 comments:

  1. Let’s look at what it means to live life, as it’s only by being true to oneself, can one really be true to any other.

    Truth is the mirror
    Shows what it reflects
    Choice is ours to Stand
    In front or behind.

    thanks.

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  2. LIFE IS FULL OF CHALLENGES. TAKE ON EACH ONE AS IT COMES. OUR OFFICIAL MOTTO IN SCHOOL WAS "NEVER GIVE IN ". AND AS I SAID, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART. IT WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR DESTINATION, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THE WAY.
    LOTS OF LOVE - UNCLE MOHAN

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  3. LIFE IS FULL OF CHALLENGES. TAKE ON EACH ONE AS IT COMES. OUR OFFICIAL MOTTO IN SCHOOL WAS "NEVER GIVE IN ". AND AS I SAID, ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART. IT WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR DESTINATION, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THE WAY.
    LOTS OF LOVE - UNCLE MOHAN

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  4. Uncle, so wonderful to see you here, and now everyone knows who this favorite uncle of mine is too :) and yes, I love the follow your heart bit....thanks

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  5. Girija, that's at one go the most simply and the most intensely put.... it's the most fundamental choice you'll make I guess......

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  6. Beautifully written. Love it!!

    Following my heart is all I did all my life. But what in your attempt to change what you can't accept hurt your close ones. One can say, if they love you they will accept it. But what if the whole process itself brings so much sadness that you start building guilt and the cause for which you are fighting looks smaller in front of your guilt and sadness? Should you accept what you can't change? If yes, then isn't that a compromised life too?

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  7. Annapurna, so glad you liked it. I think the key here is clarity. It’s a choice; and typically if you’re doing what makes you happy and are positive, the people who love you will be happy for you, and then there’s no place for guilt and sadness. This is what I’ve actually seen happen. But we’ll talk more about this.

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