I can feel the energy surge through my fingers just opening this page.
I haven't been here since the 18th of April. A month before that was each day of an adrenalin high, which inspired and created my pandemic series.
And 19th April, if I may use the term, was like an adrenalin low.
Life ebbed out. Daddy, may your soul rest in peace.
Daddy left this world as we know it with so much profundity, that at times I feel mom and I are still processing it as we speak each day. There's so much depth and inspiration there that I knew I needed to write.....as much for self as for others. Yet something was holding me back. It's like mom said so beautifully a couple of days back "I am in a space of full acceptance, there is no grief, I'm not feeling anything, but I am still not able to sing"
Guess blogging to me, is like singing to her.
Today is the 13th day, a symbolic gateway day.....where they say the soul passes on to the next dimension. Maybe that's as literal as it is symbolic.
When I got up this morning, I had this from Google Rediscover:
From a road trip to Coonoor that Diksha and I did four years back.
A dawn and a dusk.
Today is Diksha's birthday. ("A very happy birthday sweetheart")
The picture seemed to capture the essence of the space....... the dawns and dusks of life.
They come....they go, and they come again.... so do birthdays ......and at the larger level so does life.
They come....they go, and they come again.... so do birthdays ......and at the larger level so does life.
Daddy, you wanted to come back to be a pilot.......should I be saying 'may your soul rest in peace....or welcome back to the possibility of becoming a pilot'.
Knowing you, and your zest and love for life, it'll likely be the latter, so I'd rather say 'good luck with the new life daddy'
You are with me forever more too.
I did not want to check your blog up and until you told me so.
ReplyDeleteWhat a strange coincidence that I mailed today hoping that you will write a post on this most emotional event.
Uncles voice is so impactful just like his conversations. Specially his concern about my mom, after dad passed away still rings in my heart.
It's difficult not to accept what is natural. A dawn and a dusk. In between the various seasons of happiness, energy, curiosity, zest, disappointments, anger, one can keep going.
I had wrangled out of him a copy of his book which he found quite amusing as he said in tamil"என்ன புரிஞ்சுக்க போறீங்க, அது அவ்வளவு டெக்னிகல்"
And laughed outright when I said that I will see him in that book. That's good enough.
Hope uncle gets his favorite bise bele bath and kesari bath in his new place.
Welcome again smitha to turn new pages for us.
Happy Birthday Diksha!
ReplyDeleteR.I.P. Mahendra uncle! It was always sukrutha akkaiah and Mahendra uncle. His self confidence, his approach to living life fully, on his terms has always been and will always be inspiring.
Talking about life and death is but the complete circle of life!
Mahendra Uncle may you rest in peace. I had known him to have a great zeal for life and knowledge. His decisive nature was very striking for me ...and see he even decided how to exit!! Bravo...
ReplyDelete