October

Subtle.....nuanced.....restrained

It's so under the surface, yet so raw and real ...that it touches you somewhere deep within. A space of emotions that we rarely get to touch.

Hard to call it a love story....it's way more than that. While it is about love.....unconditional...undefined...unsaid, a relationship of a different kind, it's also as much an internal story. About finding that one thing that defines you notwithstanding anything else in life. Most times, life interferes. A movie that tells you it needn't.

Shoojit Sircar, also brought Delhi to life. It comes to life like a character in the film, early winter mornings, empty streets, light breeze, drifting fog...moving into the hustle and bustle of a regular day.....traffic snarls, smog.

Symbolizing October, an autumn, one where time seems to standstill, yet is transformational for Dan (Varun Dhawan), one in which he goes from being a quiet, drifting, kind of rebellious student,  to a man, gentle, kind, strong, one who knows exactly what he wants.

The relationship is with Shiuli (Banita Sandhu) a fellow student in the hotal internship, named after the Parijatam flower, a core element in the movie. (the flowers a personal favorite too).

The story plays out in two places, one the backend of a hotel, a perspective not often available. And  two in an ICU. So real it can't help but evoke our own such experience, and making us part of the story.

Varun Dhawan, Banita Sandhu and Geetanjali Rao were all outstanding in their performances. In fact I heard there was one scene, spoken entirely through the eyes which Shoojit Sircar had them rehearse three months for.

Not going into story as it could have spoilers for those who'd like to watch. And as said by Shoojit himself "October is not fast food, you need to be calm and composed to go through the film".

Elemental, Deep and Beautiful.

Try Something New For 30 Days

Sounds interesting enough....

Ith

I think I'm going to try it :)

Just Bamboo

This trip to Bangalore, Swaroop came up with an irresistible suggestion,  'a walk at Cubbon park, and breakfast at Airlines'. A full on nostalgia evoker. As children, airlines was a regular family outing, and there was no way I was going to say no to something like this. So Sunday morning, off we went, by metro to Cubbon Park.

A total surprise he had up his sleeve was his haunt.....this bamboo grove........absolutely fascinating:

The bright red of the flame of the forest in total contrast to the dull brown and green of the bamboo

Amit, thanks for letting me borrow your shoes, worked well inspite of being so many sizes larger:)

You can even hear the branches creak as they rub against each other

Airlines, which still retains it's old world charm, seating under the huge banyan tree and of course  lovely masala dosa and coffee.  

That was simply delightful swaroop, so so glad for your idea !

A Page off Dhruva's Story

On Dhruva's film being selected at the Jaipur International Film Festival, a friend said "This will open many doors for him, this is so big, there are so many people making short films out there, and to get  a validation like this........ I don't know if you realize what a big deal it is".

I think it really hit home only then.

Where, along the way, he went from this little boy figuring what he wants to do in life, the decision, going through a tough five years of the design animation course (with some expected, and some unexpected hiccups), and then, end of college creating a film that's being recognized, within the country and beyond.

A little overwhelming almost

When he got the mail, we were in the car, and he didn't tell me right away, because "You'll get all excitable" he said. Guess I do that for a lot of things, and this one would have passed me by like any other, little realizing it is one that warrants that level of excitability.

This also came through so beautifully in Girija's comment on the post, where it evoked the whole process, right from an experience  when he was in class 11. Thanks for triggering that Girija.

I'm attempting to capture them here. 

Eighteen years old.... a turning point in life, a time when decisions are made and paths are chosen. One that will pretty much decide the course of life. So damn difficult.

As a parent, how does one enable and empower this? Bigger still, what does one enable? How do you know? How do you know what he wants? Does he himself know? Who takes the risk? How do you assess that risk? 

We all believe we are thinking the best for them. Are we?

Experience has shown that if we don't have our radars up, don't listen to those antennae when they quiver, don't apply mind and thought....and heart.....and listen.....there is a default path set. No points for guessing.....the default was Engineering. 

I'm connecting the dots in retrospect.

Dhruva has been good with drawing since he could hold a pencil. He could make a dolphin go from sad to smiling with a couple of strokes. He could convert my dog into a goat with a few deft lines. But then, many children that age are good with drawing.

The love for drawing stayed with him. As he went to higher classes, he just drew more complex stuff, dinosaurs, pokemons, dragons.....

Like Girija said, in class 11, when she asked him to draw something for her, he drew her a dragon which she found quite remarkable for a free hand, dining table drawing.

When playing PS2, he would spend as much time creating his own characters, as playing..... giving them names, traits, personalities. 

His love for films showed early....... we must have watched Jungle book, Lion King and Bambi at least a fifty times each.

As he grew he became picky about his movies....and the ones he liked, he'd go watch again and again. And often he will go alone...like to get into it with no distraction he says.

It amazes me how deep he goes into understanding them. Be it concept, or character, or lighting..... it would be so very layered. I'd listen open mouthed when he'd talk films, at times losing the flow. But he won't let off. To my embarrassment, he'll ask questions and then I'll hear 'amma, weren't you listening? you don't get it or what? now understood? 

Music scores. They seemed to matter as much as the film. Back when he was little, I would want to play 'I spy with my little eye' and he would be 'no amma, I'll humm, you tell which movie'. They would all be theme music from films, not songs. (I'd struggle, as I don't have such a keen ear for music, and definitely not for theme music...I'm a lyrics person see. Half the time I'd be guessing, knowing his list of favourites :)

Post 10th, first decision making phase....I took them off CBSE (11th and 12th CBSE is extremely rigorous), as I wanted a light two years of academics.... to help them dabble around, tune into themselves some more. A gamble that paid off in full.

I distinctly recall the day, 11th class summer vacation.....I was sitting on the couch and reading and Dhruva walks up and says "I've decided amma, I want to do animation"

We spoke and we spoke and we spoke. He knew.

And then started two definitive efforts. One, the inevitable war at home, with family and extending to well meaning friends. Trust me, swimming against tide isn't easy. I recall one friend even saying "you're not just being adamant, you're even being stupid.....think about him, not yourself". How to convince them that that was exactly what I was doing.... scared and concerned, but still doing.

And for all those who got it, who supported, many many thanks....you wouldn't know how much those words of encouragement meant.

And two, the research of where and how..... getting in touch with anybody who knows anybody connected with animation. I had sheets and sheets of research on it :). The belief that once the decision is taken, put all energies into process. 

And thus started the journey......

'Maharani' - Ruskin Bond

I loved the book. 

Reading it felt like sitting...at times in a chai shop, at times under a tree, at times overlooking the mountains, and listening to a story being told. 

Read at a single stretch, end of book I found myself in a sort of reverie........almost wondering 'why am i not in Mussourie? Where did Ruskin go?'

Ruskin seems to connect into life at a whole different level. It's like he sees into people.... subtle, deep....touching layers beneath, connecting to what matters, and enabling us to see what might otherwise not even be seen, a space where life actually gets lived.

He has this inimitable way of treating the serious, and at time even tragic with a wry humour and ease that allows the heaviness of the situation to just pass you by.......building relationships where none exist, and maybe making them the most significant and long lasting, and such is one with the maharani.

As story, it is set in the hills, full of humour, a sweet connect with a fourteen year old boy, a dash of the supernatural, a different story of Jim Corbett, and of course of the Maharani.

HH, as the maharani is called, is an ageing, beautiful widow, an outrageous and eccentric character, lives with her dogs and caretaker in an enormous old house in Mussorie, taking lovers and discarding them, drinking too much, and fending off her reckless sons who are only waiting for their inheritance. 

The seasons come and go, hotels burns down, cinemas shut shop, and people leave the hill station never to return. But HH remains constant and indomitable,  as does her relationship with Ruskin.....a relationship that from one vantage seems surface level, but one that outlasts all others, one that's called upon, or happens in the moments most needed.....creating a story about love, death and friendship.

In Ruskin's own words "I have known Maharani personally for years. She has an extravagant personality who loves to dominate any kind of proceedings. On one hand I found her difficult to handle and on the other hand I found it hard not to like her.

As I have told the story of Maharani with me in the background. So its kind of my story too which unfolds as Maharani's story progresses over the years" 

A book that now sits alongside my most cherished.

Shocked and Angry

An incident that brought out much anger and frustration.... and guess sadness.

Yesterday morning, Laxmibai, my cook comes up to me with "अम्मा, मैं आप से कुछ पूछथि, आप ग़ुस्सा मथ हो . मुझे तीन लाख रुपये चाहिए." ('ll ask you something, don't get angry.....I need three lakhs)

I'm like "three lakhs! that's a lot of money....are you building a house?"

No......it is for my son getting a job. There is this person we know, who said he would get him a job if he could give three lakhs. Bade log maangre bola, isiliye jyaada hai (People in the company are asking for the money, and that's why it's high). 

And she said "I have a little land in the village, I will show you the papers, I will keep that as girvi (mortgage), I also have a little jewellery, I will keep that also as girvi".

I was stunned, and needless to say shocked. I've read about these things happening, but to see it first hand, and to see that she was willing to put aside everything she had....it made my insides churn.

I sat her down. Told her it's not about whether I will give, that we'll discuss later...... and tried telling her how jobs don't come like that, and how these are hoaxes and how there's no guarantees, and how she could be tying up the next twenty years of her life on a chance that's likely false.

I can only hope she understood.

Evening, when I'm telling Diksha about it, she comes up with something more tangible than my shocked reaction. She says "ma, ask her to bring her son, you explain to him....if possible help him with the process of finding a job, that will be a surer way of ensuring she doesn't mortgage her life away".

Thanks Deech, and hoping it works.....

Dhruva's Film in JIFF !!

Dhruva's animation short film 'The End', has been selected and is being screened at JIFF, the Jaipur International Film Festival.

Sweetly enough, he received the notification yesterday..... on his birthday, with an invite to attend. Talk of special days and wonderful feelings.

And thrilling is being selected in a film fest in the country, he's especially happy about that (it's been selected at the Italy and Mexico film fests as well). It's a proud mom, so taking full bragging rights  :)

And these numbers make it feel so special.

Total Nominated films 29 from 13 countries

(Total films received 571 from 62 countries)

Here's the list of 29 films being screened, May 4 to 6 '2018.  Dhruva's is last one on Day 1. And what's more, it says 'all films being screened are winners' 

It's so deeply satisfying to see this outcome of the seven months he spent, fully engrossed, stretched, stressed, committed......lost in a world we had little access to. His connect with the story and character seemed hundred percent, and this comes through in the layered symbolism and depth of feeling in the film. 

For a movie called 'The End', and considering it's about post war trauma,  depicting the ensuing hopelessness, loneliness, suicide .......... it's uniquely uplifting. About finding purpose and meaning. No words......all feelings....and all within seven minutes.

It's a film done pretty much single handedly, (except for music score, which also he is so deeply involved in), right from conceptualization, storyboarding, texturing, lighting, modeling, creation of characters, (he wanted a name that wouldn't identify with any particular country),  the animation. 

And strangely enough, when we see credits, the list just goes on and on. 

It has his professors ofcourse, and his mentors, and some friends. Then there's Kiwi, our dog, who seems core inspiration, and skinny, his stray pet dog in college who gets special mention. Surprise element was that it even has all our names on it. When his thatha asked him, "arre, even our name is here, what did we do", he said 'you stood by me through it all, and that matters thatha'. It was so amazing to see that expression of gratitude. Touched by that trait in you Dhruva.

Super proud of you kanna, many Congratulations...... and enjoy the large screen viewing in Jaipur !!