Faux Intimacy

From Seth

"True connection is a frightening prospect.

When you are seen by someone else, really seen, it hurts even more if you're ultimately rejected. When we connect, we make promises, buy into a different future, engage with another, someone who might let us down (or we might let them down).

Far easier, of course, to do something more shallow."

And so, we sit at a coffee or dinner, keeping conversation to above surface, happenings and not feelings; maybe watching a screen, browsing the phone, rather than connecting, truly connecting with the person across from us. Because this is safe, or promises instant gratification, and plenty of faux intimacy.

Which is great as far as it goes, but no, it's not the same.

Qutub Shahi Tombs... at Dusk

While intent was to catch Qutubshahi Tombs at sunset, little did we know we'd picked the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. That, plus our own little mix ups, add in some gps mix up, and we reached well past sunset.

Plus it was closed. They close at 6.

We managed to plead our way in.

It was dusk....totally deserted.....a crescent moon, and the tombs took on this surreal beauty. And inside the tomb, pitch dark.....just the flashlight from the phone, creating these huge massive shadows, sounds from bats disturbed, our voices echoing....... full on eerie.

Like Swaroop said, alone and even a casual oye from the outside, and our tombs would be alongside the Qutubshahis...that level of eerie it was. 

Some pics:

We got in from some side entrance and took a while even finding the main gate, but got some alongside views of the tombs before darkness set in

That tree just added to the prettiness

Still searching for that elusive entrance gate

Entrance to the tombs

A creepy looking tree just adding to the feel and look

Two of the minor tombs

Praveen, vaguely visible

As darkness was falling

Ghostly looking

Swaroop and me.....in silhouette

Inside to the outside

The quiet and the dark, brought the space alive in some sense....like the spirits were just there

Picture of the evening....the tomb with the crescent

Once out we parked alongside Zishaan Cafe for Irani chai and samosas

While the city is fast changing landscape, these are some pockets which just remain (thankfully).

Plus I have a personal extra fond memory of the tombs. It was when visiting the tombs, over ten years back that I'd got the call from Google saying I'd made the job. And considering it was after a long and painful hiatus from work, it was a momentous moment.....a turning point in life. Looks like tombstones can symbolize varied turning points :)

A Day With 'Foodies'

This was almost a first to me...a day that pretty much centered around food. 

With a brother, and a cousin who are bigggg foodies, I figured it's best to flow along. End of day I couldn't wrap my head around how many different places, and how many different kinds of food we'd done in a day.

The day started with breakfast at Minerva Coffee House, and because we were seven of us, we just had this crazy variety of food on the table. If I thought my order was a simple ravva dosa, on the table was wada, pongal, button idli, uttapam, and the inevitable masala dosa. All of us had all of that. In fact even drank so much sambar, that it took two strong coffees to down it all.

Soon the breakfast turned to brunch.

Afternoon, we branched off. Amit and Diksha hit the new pubs in town, (he's a restaurateur, see) and we to the Qutubshahi tombs, till we met again. Diksha's orders were to find a 'brewery'. She picked  'Repete', this beautiful terrace place in Madhapur.

It has a whole menu of brewed beer. On our table was Belgian wheat beer, light ale, dark ale and stout. All not just new tastes, but even new words to me. And what's called 'pub grub'. There was bacon wrapped prawn, and chicken, and my old favorite... finger chips. 

In between all this we did Qutubshahi tombs and couldn't resist doing Irani chai with the little  Irani samosas. The chai was out of this world, as Irani cafe chai always feels. The tombs are yet another world (pun intended)

I couldn't believe there could be more. From Repete we went straight to 'Ulavacharu'

This was proper desi meal. What a contrast in ambience. If Repete was all about ambience and  style and aesthetic, Ulavacharu, was grounded and functional ......focused all on food.

It was  kheema vepudu, and natu kodi koora, and gongura mutton and ofcourse biryani. We did their signature biryani which was like nothing any of us had ever seen. In fact Swaroop was like "I think they messed it up and are trying to pass it off to us" (It was after all past 11 at night). It looked like some kind of broth, (I think I even heard the word dog food mentioned from Swaroop, with Amit's rejoinder of "tasty dogfood anna"). A lesson in 'looks can be deceptive'. It was simply yummm...in fact they almost wanted to go again the next day just for that biryani. 

An interesting conversation over beer, triggered by the question:  'On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does food mean to you". 

Praveen (after a few moments of serious thought): "I think fifteen or sixteen" (lolol)

Amit quickly says "I'd go with that too"  (no surprise there :)

Swaroop brought the graph to a more sensible and sedate seven or eight. And then the graph shifted further, with Diksha at a five and me at a two.

So now, with me at a 2 on that food scale,  you know why this post is at this level of detail. I'm still wrapping my head around it (stomach managed well enough :) 

Some pics from the day: The onion ravva dosa...tasted as good as it looks

The bunch of us at Minerva, dad and mom included.

This was near Qutubshahi tombs.......Chai and Samosa on the car

Ulavacharu spread, with Rubaiyat looking goblets 

The cousin gang getting buzzed at 'Repete'

Guess there's always scope for 'mores & mosts'  and 'news' & firsts'. Praveen, Swaroop, Amit and Diksha...to reiterate the cheers of the evening "to many more of these" !!

A Ride In Our Very Own Metro

It's amazing how much connect and pride the metro is evoking for a lot of Hyderabadis... us included.

My story with the metro is going to be long. We've after all watched it grow right before our eyes for the last four plus years. Construction has been going on, on just about every main road possible.....so it just became part of life...... part of curiosity, part of wonder, part of hope, part of traffic woes, part of road disorientation, part of changed landscape.......it was just everywhere.

In addition, my dad could see the Ameerpet station right from his house, and there's many a time he has pondered "wonder if it will come up in my lifetime".

Since trial runs began last month, he's been watching even through binoculars, almost tracking each days progress minutely. He has such an innate love for trains, that for many a year he'd wanted a house overlooking a railway track. Somewhere along, the universe listened.....the track came up next to his house :)

In one of his interviews, when I'd asked what he wanted to be in his next life, he'd said "actually I love trains...since a locomotive driver does not have that sense of dignity, I'd say a pilot". He's changed that...he now says..."nothing else matters, a locomotive driver is what I want to be".

All this excitement and enthusiasm fully permeated our visit to the metro yesterday. What would have been a two hour outing became four, his bad knees not withstanding.

A ride became an experience. 

His presence and sense of wonder altered the very fabric of the visit. Spending time at the station looking at the maps, talking to the staff at the stations, trying the vending machines, understanding how the pillars and cantilevers worked, thinking of how the architects and engineers might have worked on the blueprint, how construction happened without disrupting traffic, the height of the pillars....and on and on.

After a couple hours I got hungry, but he didn't. In fact at one point he said, "I'm actually enjoying being hungry". Took me a while to figure that his joy was so deep,  that it was turning everything in vicinity into a positive.

Well, the metro itself. We did the blue line ( There are three lines that will cover the stretch of Hyderabad, part of the blue and the red are now functional). We did Ameerpet to Nagole and back, a full forty minutes each way.

It not only lived up to expectation, it went beyond....... it's so beautifully done, it's after all the latest in technology and feel. It made us proud and happy to belong.

That apart, it gave us a whole different perspective of Hyderabad. The pillars and lines in places are so high up that's it wonderful to watch Hyderabad from that vantage. Then the the route map, the three lines gave me my clearest to date geographical perspective of Hyderabad.

Even people....everyones so happy with it, it's like it's bringing out their best sides...almost like, okay, now we have something to behave real nice for, and this seems to go for people working there, passengers, joy riders et al.

Rest in pictures:

Dad at the elevator at the entrance at Ameerpet. (they have stairs and escalators and elevators)

View from Ameerpet station. We actually spotted our house :)

Dad keenly looking for our house

A view of the road from the coach

A cricket match on at Parade grounds

HPS (Hyderabad public school)

Inside the metro. It was packed to capacity till Secunderabad, and then gradually the crowd dropped.

A view of Mahindra Hills

The green cover distinctly increases as we get from Hyderabad to Secunderabad,  and way more as we get to Nagole.

LFS (Little flower Junior College). This was where Praveen studied, years and years back.  He couldn't get over how it now looked. Mala and me are telling him to take a picture and he's so open mouthed...he's like "we used to have fields and cows grazing around here" !!!

Parade Grounds (there are so many cricket pitches that it would make a lovely view on a weekend)

At Nagole, our train coming in

Dad and Mala in the train (mala, notice, notice...that woman still can't take her eyes off you :)

The Uppal stadium

The green line yet under construction

Near Secunderabad station, a train in the background and a graveyard in foreground

Praveen, dad and me :)

A metro coming in from the opposite direction. It takes a beautiful S curve near Begumpet that enables this view

I loved the old time looking clock they have in all the stations. So aesthetic and far removed from the digital ones that are commonly used today.

The guys in green shirts all have the 'May I help You' boldly written behind, and they are all so positive and friendly. Was lovely to see.

Ameerpet

View from Nagole station

The route map

End of visit, dad dropping off his coin. The May I Help You guys were simply brilliant. Seeing dad with a walking stick and knee braces, at so many points they would proactively come and offer to help. In fact took him to front of queue, reserved a seat for him, offered him a wheelchair...it was really impressive. I also got exception to take pictures, thanks to him :)

Mom couldn't make it this time, and when we're discussing going next month, dad's all set to join again !!

Google Search: Reunion

I received this in my mail this morning with the line "for the googler in you". 

It's an old clip, and I'd seen it earlier, yet watching it brought tears to the eye. This time round I'd say for more reason than one.......for the clip itself, and true to the line it was sent with, for the reunion of sorts with the googler inside of me, and likely for the gesture itself. 

Those tears are precious, cherished.......they enable a connect with some deep and beautiful spaces within.

Thanks Swaroop. Touched.

Who Are You Really? - A Ted Talk

A Ted Talk that was interesting.....not just in content, but also in style, plus with several laugh aloud moments.

Ask 'Why' not 'What'

Every once in a while we might want to step back and ask ourselves this question.

The 'Why' and not the 'What'.

Life can get busy. In fact getting 'busy' isn't a difficult space to get to. You have a chunk of time, and there's always something to fill it in.

Parkinson's law is not for nothing: "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion".

That's why the 'Why' becomes important. Why am I doing what I'm doing. Is what I'm doing adding value to my life, is it aligned to my goals, my mission, my values, my vision?

It's easy to veer off course. A quiet two degree turn at some point and before long you'll find that you're well off course.

Why is this important?

At any moment when you look within, if your 'Why' is answered, you will feel a deep sense of fulfillment and joy. Else there can be an emptiness, fear, questions, restlessness....all signs telling you to ask the 'Why'.

As Kiekegard said 'Busyness can at times become the greatest distraction from living' and paradoxically, the greatest source of unhappiness.

Living a meaningful life requires awareness....the 'Why' is a great tool :)