While we started with 5 feet distance at the airport.....we realized just how challenging that can be at home.
And I guess, very quickly we understood the fundamental difference between lock down and self isolation.
In a lock down you are protecting yourself from something that is outside. You stay in, you are safe.... you take the basic precautions and you are set.
In self isolation, the very 'thing' is potentially inside.
The primary ask is ensuring that 'it' does not go out..... plus trying to make sure it doesn't spread within the house. A whole different task.
Where do the boundaries get drawn.
The easy part was 'not stepping out'....... but what about how to handle the 'within'.
First off we're already exhausted from the uncertainty and stress of her arrival here....but there's zero time to unwind.
Where does one even start disinfection.....we swiped her suitcases with sanitizer (different story that we forgot the backpack until two days later), disposed her clothes, wiped door knobs and switches......drew difficult boundaries between us.
And I guess, very quickly we understood the fundamental difference between lock down and self isolation.
In a lock down you are protecting yourself from something that is outside. You stay in, you are safe.... you take the basic precautions and you are set.
In self isolation, the very 'thing' is potentially inside.
The primary ask is ensuring that 'it' does not go out..... plus trying to make sure it doesn't spread within the house. A whole different task.
Where do the boundaries get drawn.
The easy part was 'not stepping out'....... but what about how to handle the 'within'.
First off we're already exhausted from the uncertainty and stress of her arrival here....but there's zero time to unwind.
Where does one even start disinfection.....we swiped her suitcases with sanitizer (different story that we forgot the backpack until two days later), disposed her clothes, wiped door knobs and switches......drew difficult boundaries between us.
It meant not just not eating together, but also not being able to even hand over her plate to her.
The red bottles became hers, the blue ones mine......the plates with a rim hers, the plain ones mine.....the glass glasses hers, the steel ones mine......it was crazy, rather is.
We could see when we were treading into risk....where does she dry her clothes,we have only one clothes line......we have only one broom stick, can I touch it after she uses it.....do sanitizer bottles need to be sanitized........ there was just no fool proof method.
We could see when we were treading into risk....where does she dry her clothes,we have only one clothes line......we have only one broom stick, can I touch it after she uses it.....do sanitizer bottles need to be sanitized........ there was just no fool proof method.
It's not just physically exhausting....but also emotionally so. Theoretical knowing and understanding can take you only so far. Nerves were getting on edge. We were both aware of each others stress, aware that the smiles we were seeing were as genuine, as they were brave fronts. And sure enough, we did hit breaking points.
There was a point on day 2, when I was "okay deech, strangely enough, you seem to think I'm overdoing it, and I think we're slipping in spaces.....it's two different perspectives of the same situation........neither of us knows what is enough, or what the right thing to do really is........let's sit and agree on the rules, let's get on the same page with this".
Trust me....it takes conscious effort....no easy task when nerves are on edge. Where it worked well for us is that we think similarly, matching wavelength kinds........but bigger still is that we both have very quick rebound times....the anger holding range is a max of five minutes :)
We soon found a rhythm......yet end of day two, we kind of needed a break.
It was a beautiful evening....twilight is her favourite time of day....and she was like "want to have a drink ma?" and I was like "lovely idea deech, let's celebrate your coming back" !!
There was a point on day 2, when I was "okay deech, strangely enough, you seem to think I'm overdoing it, and I think we're slipping in spaces.....it's two different perspectives of the same situation........neither of us knows what is enough, or what the right thing to do really is........let's sit and agree on the rules, let's get on the same page with this".
Trust me....it takes conscious effort....no easy task when nerves are on edge. Where it worked well for us is that we think similarly, matching wavelength kinds........but bigger still is that we both have very quick rebound times....the anger holding range is a max of five minutes :)
We soon found a rhythm......yet end of day two, we kind of needed a break.
It was a beautiful evening....twilight is her favourite time of day....and she was like "want to have a drink ma?" and I was like "lovely idea deech, let's celebrate your coming back" !!
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