Beauty And The Beast

I was in a movie watching mood after real long, and I asked Diksha for recommendation.  She not only knows how picky I am, she also knows how that pickiness tunes. She suggested 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind'. When I said I wasn't in a thinking kind of frame, she said 'Beauty and the Beast', and what a pick that was. Just sit back and let the beauty of the movie enthrall.

I've seen the earlier animated version of the movie, one I loved watching,  Apparently the animated version was the first animated movie to ever be nominated for an Oscar. And I must say this one didn't disappoint. In fact I loved it even more.

And it's impossible to remove the songs from this movie. They're so intrinsic, so simply beautiful.

When they say timeless classic, you realize why. It's such a wonderful story of falling in love with 'being human'.  While the beast is a real surly and foul tempered beast in the beginning, and belle is scared  and horrified of it, you see how the shift happens. How she falls in love as layer by layer of the inner beauty is revealed, and how it gets revealed because there's the reason and the want to reveal.

I loved Dan Stevens green eyes, which even through the overt beastiness can't camouflage the kindness, especially as he looks down into Belles beauty and niceness, times when his voice goes gruff with ardour and tenderness. In that he becomes the beast you want to protect. 

Emma Watson as the naive but smart, confident and non conforming belle was perfect. I loved the scene where the beast in his shy attempt to woo her reveals his library, and she is literally spellbound. A personal penchant for bonding over reading I guess.

The talking pieces...the mantle clock, the candle stick, the tea cup, the wardrobe, the piano......brilliant voice overs.

A Walt Disney quote I read a long while back: 'I don't make movies to make money, but I need money to make movies'. I'm so glad they have the money to make these movies. Lovely stuff.

ACT Fibernet

ACT, Atria Convergence Technologies.

I'm not writing about ACT because it's my broadband service provider, or because of how much I love my WiFi, no.....but because I figured I had a deeper connect with it.

It's only recently that I discovered that ACT, which is India's largest non telco broadband service providers, is 'Atria Convergence Technologies', one of my pet project finance cases in IDBI.

                 

I had worked on this case when the company was founded, their very first loan, way back in 2000. In fact my colleague Prakash, and I had worked really hard on the proposal. It was days when fiber optics was a little known term and it needed us to stretch our research and thinking skills to understand the case in all its detail, and put up a convincing loan sanction proposal to our committee.

And yesterday when I called Prakash, we shared a proud moment. In fact even recalled that our committee had commended us on the depth of research done for the proposal. 

And as we spoke, a couple of anecdotes that came to recall. There was one Mr.Sudarshan, who was part of the founding team of ACT, with who we had a lot of our technical and financial discussions. One day over coffee, when I said I was from Hyderabad, he said he was from Hyderabad himself and had studied in Little Flower Boys College. And I was still saying my brother was also from Little Flower, when Prakash bursts out laughing, saying. "Little Flower? what kind of a gay name is that for a boys college". Well Well.

While this was what I recalled, what Prakash recalled was an experience when the two of us sat in on the committee meet.

The Chief General Manager, who heads the committee got a call in the middle of the meeting.(days before cell phones, so he had all of us listening in)  It was afternoon, and the guy at the other end said Good Morning, and the CGM responded 'Good Morning ...ehee.... Good Morning ...ehee ....cha...Good afternoon', and I apparently ran out of the room mouth covered, as I couldn't stop giggling. ( can't imagine what I found so funny about it then)

It's curious how both of us recalled instances of the other laughing uncontrollably. Both innocuous instances, but considering they were from seventeen years back they hold a whole different significance in just recall of detail.

While we can live in the here and the now, in the present, a smile from the past is always welcome.

Atria was one of our more interesting cases, and seen from today, guess one of our most successful too. I now love ACT a few notches more :)

A Response To The Website

I've loved the last few hours. Always nice to hear nice things, to get feedback for an effort that's enveloped one for a period of time, especially so when the objective of the effort is recognized. Many thanks felt for all the lovely things said, also for some of the critical feedback, which also I'm listening to.

I share a story sent by Ajit, saying "I think your website reflects this in every page, right from the tagline, sometimes 'help' helps"

A young girl and her father were walking along the forest path. At some point, they came across a large tree branch on the ground in front of them.

The girl asked her father , "If I try, do you think I could move that branch?"

Her father replied. "I am sure you can, if you use all your strength"

The girl tried her best to lift or push the branch, but she was not strong enough and she couldn't move it. She said, with disappointment, "You were wrong dad, I can't move it"

"Try again, with all your strength", replied her father.

Again the girl tried hard to push the branch. She struggled but it did not move.

"Dad, I cannot do it", said the girl.

Finally her father said. "Young lady, I advised you to use all your strength, You yet didn't ask for my help".

Moral of the story:
Our real strength lies not in independence, but in interdependence.
No individual person has all the strengths, all the resources and all the stamina required for complete blossoming of their vision.

To ask for help and support when we need it is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of wisdom

Thanks much Ajit. It so totally resonates.  

A Milestone In Life

Launched my website today

www.smithadevara.com

A significant moment of a cherished journey. A culmination of one phase and the beginning of another.

It's so true that the dots connect in hindsight. When I joined up at Parivarthan for an initial two month program, it was just on a whim, it sounded interesting and doable, even with my job. That course on listening skills, stroked the appetite for more. 

I quit my job to do a one year program on counselling. I yet did so for personal reasons. Introspection was like an interest, a passion. And I thought to myself, if I can get expertise and tools, why not.

It wasn't until six months into the course that I even thought I might want to do this as a profession. Be a professional counsellor. The thought grew, and grew...the more counselling sessions I did, the firmer it grew. And soon it became a decision, a reality.

Once in Hyderabad, the more fundamental questions of 'how' and 'where'. 

The 'where' had several options explored, a more physical question. The 'how' was to answer the questions friends were asking me, 'how will people know...how will I find clients'.

That became a focused exercise. First was to get an identity as a counsellor. So a visiting card. And when I knew that potential clients would likely see my card and not me, in went a lot of energy and thought into the card. It had to represent me. 

As I started to hand out the card, I found myself face to face with a lot of questions. Right from 'what is counselling' 'when do we see a counsellor', 'how does it work'....and therein grew the thought of a website, one that would answer these basic questions.

Once I started working on the design, I realized it was possibly the point of decision to many, the connect between the client and me. It had to speak a certain language. Calming, soothing, supportive, holding, inspiring even. And these were the words I started off with in my head.

It's been a two month process. One that's been at one time challenging and so thoroughly enjoyable. 

Learnt all over again what it means to be open minded and iterative.

I spoke to atleast five web developers before I zeroed in on Shravan. When I told him this, he was himself surprised, he was like 'how come, there are so many'.

I think it was a couple of questions he asked within five minutes of our first call.......'tell me more about counselling' and 'what does aham mean'. It told me he had connected to it at a level deeper than just business. It resonated with my outlook. 

Once we had the commercial elements in place, I gave him the design on a ppt, page by page, arrogant in my belief that I had got it all sorted.......little realizing how much of it is feel and iteration. Each email to him, (and there have been several) would be about twenty points long, so many changes, additions, deletions, I'm a stickler for detail. At one point we changed the template itself, and he said 'this is like creating a new site'. Yet, not once did he loose patience. A special thanks there Shravan, it meant much. 

A lot of energy and effort and love went into it's making, from all concerned, Shravan, friends, family....and it's so worth what it feels like now.

And to all who helped..... Diksha, Kiran, Girija, Dhruva, Mom, Dad, Praveen, Vishakha, Swaroop, Adi and others who I bounced ideas off,  thanks. Thanks a ton.

I'd especially like to call out Diksha, Kiran and Girija, where I've had instances through the process, which touched a deep chord.

Kiran, who so generously sent me his website template that he'd bought saying you can use this, and who showed me other sites he'd researched, which gave me the inspiration for design. His saying, you need to up the level, take off from my shoulders. Thanks Kiran, because that I did.

Girija, who read the 'About Me' section and said 'cha, this is so factual and boring..... tell your story from the heart' and I totally rehashed and in so doing found the right balance. And most importantly for having been the one to suggest the name. Aham came from her. Thanks Pal.

Diksha when giving feedback 'Ma, don't defend, you wanted feedback and I'm telling, just listen na.' And she insists on my picture being there, "if I didn't see the picture of the counsellor on her own site, I wouldn't go" she said. That's something I yet need to get to. But thanks deech, for saying it as it is.

I'm filled with gratitude and joy to be able to share this moment with each and everyone of you.

The Road Less Travelled

The first time I picked up this book, a few years ago, I couldn't get past the first few pages. Had found it kind of high handed and preachy. 

Today I devoured it. Guess also a clear indication of how big a part 'readiness' plays in connecting into a book, especially one that talks of inner self. 

Scott Peck is a psychiatrist and writes from his own experiences. The back cover says 'This book is a phenomenon. Continuously on the US bestseller list for five years. It will change your life'.

The book while emphasizing traditional values and discipline, also has some deep insights in terms of relationships, growth and spirituality.

Scott says 'Most large problems we have are the result of not facing up to earlier, smaller problems, of failing to be 'dedicated to the truth'. The great mistake most people make is believing that problems will go away of their own accord.

Confronting and solving problems is a painful process which most of us attempt to avoid. And the very avoidance results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually.

This lack of responsibility will damage us in other ways. Scott references Eric Fromm's book 'Escape From Freedom', which looked at people's natural willingness to embrace political authoritarianism and how when it comes down to it, we shy from real freedom and responsibility.

He also talks of loving relationships, and delves rather deeply into describing an emotion which most have said cannot be adequately defined. We tend to think of love as effortless, the freefall of 'falling in love'. While it may be mysterious, love is also effortful; 'love is a decision ', the desire to love is not itself love. 'Love is as love does.'

A nice line from the book: “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth”

Why this cannot be termed as a typical self help book, is because it gives no quick fix solutions to reach bountiful joy. Peck states that psychological change is necessarily slow, and suggests ways in which facing our difficulties, and suffering through the changes is what enables us to reach a higher level of self understanding.

I personally loved his section on spirituality, and how he connects psychological growth into the spiritual realm. He discusses, for instance, an experience that is not referred to in modern psychology at all: 'grace'. A surprise burst of peace, gratitude and freedom, Peck feels it the highest point of human experience. 

And in this context he moves into the Jungian concepts of collective unconscious and synchronicity, which occur in grace.

While I borrowed and read the book, I like it enough to want to make it a part of my personal library, a book I would want to reread at some point.

Predicting or Inventing....

From Seth

The most common way to deal with the future is to try to predict it. To be in the right place at the right time with the right skills or investments.

A far more successful and reliable approach is to invent the future. Not all of it, just a little part. But enough to make a difference.

Flag Off

Diksha's on yet another road trip to Bangalore, and this time round with friends.

At 4 in the morning, spot on schedule.

When she first came up with the idea, it didn't get much buy in from anyone, for apparent reasons I guess. And then she slowly but surely worked on all spaces she needed permissions from. Inspite of opposition from almost every quarter, she kept at it relentlessly. She used irrefutable rationality and logic. Even to risk on highway, she was like, "when amma and I can drive by ourselves, how is me with two other guys more risky". 

At times she'd almost give up, be saddened, despondent, and then she'd start all over again. Her friends who were on the plan ( Mayur and Harin, her new Fubar friends) dropped out one day when she gave up on the car, and decided to take a bus. 

In fact at one point I remember I was telling her "Diksha, learn to listen ma, when it's such a clear no, why don't you let go" and she's like "ma, it was you who taught me that if I really really want something, and it matters to me, I need to keep at it.....how is this different"

She used all possible resources available, including me and her brother. At some point we found ourselves appealing on her behalf.

Then slowly the tides turned.

Once she'd got her go ahead, she started on the car. Spent a whole day at the Ford service station. Hose pipes, coolent, oils, wipers.....she even got new tyres. She literally spent the day there, ate chips for lunch and dozed at their table for two hours she said, as they worked, cause she didn't want to risk it not getting done. And when she got home finally, she had this excited, dreamy look and she's like "Bruce looks so lovely ma, with his new tyres and all"

And today she's on her drive.

I didn't even need to wake her up, in fact I don't think she slept even, that was the adrenaline levels. She was up at 3.30, showered, packed, set....and she woke me up to say bye. In fact she was so excited, she didn't even resist the pictures :)

Mayur and her all set for the flag off. They were to pick up Harin on the way. If I get a picture from them I'll add.

Deech, way to go girl, enjoy the drive and Bangalore !!