A Week That Seemed Way Longer

A week away from home is by itself just that..a week. Then you add in experiences as varied as what we had, and the week seems to go into a time distortion. One that feels way longer.... in essence from the intensity and spectrum of new and varied experiences. 

Varied was at multiple levels. The pictures speak of landscape...and our experience encompassed, in addition to the sea and the mountains:

The hulabulu of a wedding in the city, and the quiet of just the two of us in Munnar.

The extreme heat and humidity of Cochin, and the chilly and windy monsoons in Chinnakanal. 

A well known temple in Thrissur, and the hip cafes of Fort Kochi. 

A ferry drive in the car at Ernakulam, and driving through clouds in the western ghats.

Wine through the evenings and ayurveda during the day.

You get the drift....

It's a trip that Diksha and I did to Kerala last week.....visiting Cochin, Thrissur and Munnar.

This morning a friend asked "just the two of you, didn't you get bored?". The thought hadn't even occurred to me. We had such a marvelous time ....even cooped up in the room during the rains that seem to never stop.......doing things together, syncing when needed, doing our own thing at times....in fact we didn't even think of turning the TV on, not even once. It was a simply beautiful week.

Back home and wanting to write, was when I realized just how wide and deep an experience spectrum it was....so much so, that in itself seemed a thought worth capturing,  and a good enough place to start :)

My Present

What my days..... and so my life, is about today:

• People.....my inner circle...people beyond.....and me
• Keep smiling...even while accepting and handling the curved balls life throws at you
• Listen to your heart
• Chewing the cud time, while still being curious and open to wonder and mystery and learning
• Giving into moments of joy, and fun, and even silliness
• Feel gratitude
• Give attention and energy to everything I do, and if possible, every conversation I have
• Ask Why
• Take those difficult decisions
• Find good things around you, and say it, be generous with those compliments
• Stay aware... mindful, even through the difficult spaces, your growth is somewhere in there
• Keep the bookshelf growing
• Travel...let those horizons expand, be it through books, people, travel...
• Add value wher'ever you can
• Keep your surroundings not just clean, but pretty
• Keep the energy and enthusiasm going
• Feel the love in your heart and let it spread

Hoping to keep adding to the list :)

Two days of nostalgia

A two days that took us all the way back 25 years.

And full kudos to Ashutosh who came down to Hyderabad with that as exclusive purpose. He said the years in hyderabad were the best time of his life, and he wanted to revisit......he wanted two days from me and Lan. 

Initially we weren't sure it would fall in place.....but his excitement was so palpable, his feelings so from the heart that it totally wrapped us in as well.

While we've each been at IDBI for long years, the overlap was 1993 to 1996, just three years when we were part of a gang (Amrutha missing)

Day 1, straight from airport at 7 in the morning we went to Abids Taj.....Pesarettu, Alam pachadi and Coffee he said.

A drive around the city......old haunts, tank bund and the like.

And then to our old office, IDBI.

While we didn't expect to meet any of our colleagues from back then, (we did though) it was a wonderful surprise to meet Srinivas. He was a young lad back then, working as a tea boy, an integral part of day....the cups of chai and coffee....the bonding times. It was so wonderful to see him as Canteen head, a long chat...and the warm feeling when he said "stay and have lunch with me".

Imagining the layout as it was, who sat where, quirky stuff that happened, people who brought out our best, work challenges, bosses who drove us nuts, closing days with irani samosa and chai at 2 in the night, scrabble during breaks, papa toads for egg puffs, mohini for biryani....and that list goes on.

Two incidents that Ashutosh recalled with so much feeling, that they deserve special mention:

When Ashutosh was transferred into Hyd, and was given the most sticky portfolio of PFD Accounts,  I apparently ( I don't recall this) spoke to our GM and said "it's not fair, I'll do half day accounts until he gets the hang of it". And today when he said he just couldn't have done without that......well.... Ashutosh, so touched for making me feel good about it even today :)

Second was his saying how when he heard that Lan was transferred to Indore, and orders were to move within a day, he actually broke down in Lan's cabin.... and how Lan just quietly got up, closed the door to give him that space. Was so touching to hear, also because it reminded me of the quiet tear I shed when I walked him out the doors the next day.

Lunch was beer and biryani. 

Evening started with us visiting his old house on Rd No 12. I sat in the car and watched ....it was his journey, his experience......to see him stand and gaze, zoned out and lost to the world. 

And he had so many stories to recall about his life there.

Next on list was a temple inside the Apollo hospital campus,  apparently a sunday ritual for him and his daughter, who was back then all of 3.

A beautiful temple, quiet, serene......the sanctity and depth becoming a metaphor for the bonding experienced through the two days.  

Dinner was again farmaish....chicken 65 and biryani...and beer ofcourse.

Day 2 started with a walk in KBR, and rest of day was literally spent in Lan's red scorpio. We must have done a 100 kms I think........just driving around.....osmania biscuit at Nimraah in Nampally, irani chai at Charminar, lunch at Ulavacharu, pan at dimmy's, tea at lamakaan.........and lots and lots of catching up of times bygone.....aspirations and attitudes......life in general, right until we dropped him off at the airport late evening.

Ashutosh saying "It's been twenty five years, and I haven't met more interesting or fascinating people than the two of you (how much ever exaggerated, who can resist hearing such stuff huh), and Lan saying "I'm not a talker, I'm known to be quiet......but today......I'm going to need gargling with iodex for the throat". 

When twenty five years drops off like that....guess that's how it can get. Strangely, none of us took even a single picture. So strange, and so sorely missed.

Well, well, Ashutosh very quickly and creatively filled that gap (just from our whats app dps') , plus office and his house ...lovely

Ashutosh, for having created and enabled this experience.......tough to find the right words...so, like Lan said 'let silence speak the rest'.

An Early Morning Drive

One of those spontaneous and lovely things that just happen.

I was all set to go off on my morning walk, when Diksha says "I'm in a mood for a drive, want to come?".  And we went, directionless at first, with maybe unsaid objective of getting out of city.

That in itself took us close to an hour....something that used to take me twenty minutes....ten, no... more like fifteen years ago. Was nice though. On way we hit gandipet, where we took a little break.

While the regular access to Gandipet was cordoned off, this was a chance discovery

Other side of the lake

We decided to walk down to the lake

A nesting crane. It was amazing how many birds there were....warblers, egrets, kingfishers, ducks, cormorants.....so many

Another view of the lake

With me

That's Bruce up there (diksha's car), looking so cute..so like a hotwheels

Drive back

It was beautiful...some good music, some shared moments... a little break by Gandipet. Very nice.

28 Days

I picked the movie because it was a Sandra Bullock, pretty much expecting her usual high energy rom coms. Was I surprised. 

It's a movie in a rehab, overcoming alcoholism and addiction. No easy space.

She's a columnist for a New York magazine, drunk and wild at any time of day. There's some major drama and an accident, and she has to chose jail or rehab. She's a reluctant admit.... there to complete the 28 day term, and get back to her life and boyfriend.

Through the rehab she dumps both....and a lot more.

Comes through in a complex relationship she has with her sister, where it starts with her sister saying "you make it so difficult for me to love you"....change happens, and it changes to "it's impossible not to love you".

Watchable. And for Sandra Bullock, definitely watchable.

Happy, Proud Moment

Dhruva's certificate from the 16th IFF Jaipur International Film Festival:

Congratulations Kanna...sure is a happy, proud moment !

All About Attitude !

Diksha and I are in process of planning a visit to Hawaii, in July. We had just about got our Visas through, and were to book tickets.......when Kilauea erupted.

May 6, five days back, saw the eruption of the volcano, Kilauea. It's a force so primordial, that just watching the video footage has me mesmerized. Like they said in the news "there's no point having firefighters, this is an unstoppable force".

The eruption saw flying boulders and ash plumes 200 feet into the air. Several fissures opening up around the area, spewing lava continuously.

The lava has flowed through forest and into residential areas, taking in its stride trees, houses, cars, telephone poles.....consuming everything in it's path, all disappearing into  the flowing molten rock. It's fascinating to watch how it moves, fiery...fearsome..... slow....almost grotesque. And the sound is said to be so thunderous that you can feel it in the pits of your stomach.

The volcanic eruptions triggered off a flurry of earthquakes, over a hundred, with the severest being a 6.9 on the richter.

People have been asked to evacuate areas that have been effected. And what's unique about a volcano, unlike other natural calamities like earthquakes, floods, cyclones and such is that with these, people can go back and reclaim their land, rebuild, but a volcano alters the very landscape. Also that other calamities have an end point..and here we're hearing the US Geological Survey say that this could go on for weeks, months or even years.

While all this is news available everywhere, at a more personal level, the earthquake caused a crack in kamlesh aunty's house. She lives 40 miles north of the volcano.

It's as fascinating as it is scary.

I was quite naturally unsure about booking tickets. So I talk to her, fully expecting her to say they were planning on moving back to their Chicago home, and instead what I hear is "they're calling it destruction, but this is actually creation...this is how Hawaii was formed. It is just so so beautiful, you must absolutely come"

I was so stumped, I could only laugh (in nervousness I think). End of ten minutes she's like 'so? are you coming?', and I found myself saying "yes aunty, coming" ....... all well meaning advise and fear and caution flying out the window.

That's inspiration from sheer attitude !

Look at some of these pictures:

The eruptions from the fissures

Lava flow onto the roads

Through the forest

Spreading into the residential areas

Roads cracking up

As it flows

The lava lake in the crater before the eruption

The lava lake that's receded in by 900 feet. And it's the pressure caused by the receding lava, that is now surfacing through fissures miles around the place.

A picture from yesterday, toxic gases, predominantly sulphuric acid, which breathed in, is fatal to man

Fissures across roads

A video that gives a feel of it



I haven't followed news as closely as I am Kilauea.....a word I didn't know how to pronounce until a few days back.

You're right aunty.....this is indeed, creation !

Dare to Disagree

An interesting perspective......

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

There's a Walter on the outside, and a Walter on the inside. In between is his secret life, a fantastic level of fantasizing. 

The movie starts with him balancing his cheque book on his ball point pen, and the message is clear.

You'd see him as this meek, stuck in office routine, afraid to express himself kind of guy, you also see his wild imagination of what goes on within....and only later realize there's a reason why duty and responsibility took over, and his own passions and spirit of adventure went into cold storage.

Then comes the turning point.... when he's about to lose his job at the Life Magazine, and he needs to find that one mysterious photographer who can save his job (and him). The shift between imagination and  reality is so beautifully done that you're pretty much left guessing for when.

The cinematography is to die for. 

Each of those places he visits, Iceland, Greenland, Afghanisthan, Himalayas....is like pictures from the National Geographic. Would have been wonderful on large screen.

And in process he goes 'inside out'..... embraces life ....finds himself, finds it in him to not just feel but express and live his dreams.....with all his goodness and kindness intact.

It's funny in parts, quirky kinds, more from those curved balls life throws you at times, than outright comedy. 

The poster line - "To see the world. Things dangerous to come to. To see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life."

Sagari, thanks a ton for so strongly recommending :)

Cherai Beach Resorts - Cochin

This was an absolute out of the blue, spur of the moment, one day trip to Cochin.

What started as a seemingly 'preposterous' suggestion, grew into something real and beautiful. What it took was a setting aside of logic and rationality, and instead adopting an a la nike 'just do it' attitude. A shift in mindset.... one that happened over just a ten minute phone call.

And what we had was a day at the Cherai Beach resorts, which was again, a lucky find. Meeting in Cochin decided, the thought was 'why in the city? why not by the beach?' A quick google search and we had our place, an hours drive from Cochin.

Cherai Beach resorts. It has backwaters behind, and beach up front. Breathtakingly lovely.

And in that one day was a whole experience to become a forever trip.......long beach walks, an authentic kerala massage, songs by the sea, wine and banana chips, boiled tapioca snacks...

And what's more, god played ally.

We had this brilliant storm in the evening. A panoramic view of lightening and thunder over water... pouring kerala rain,........that we not just saw but felt.

View from our room, plus a huge balcony overlooking the backwaters

The beach the other side. While evening had tourists on the beach, early morning gave us the beach pretty much to ourselves.

Except for fishermen who were coming in after their rounds

A walk break

Vishakha on a longer walk than I did

The resort  is built in mangroves. Mangroves are trees which grow in tidal, coastal swamps, with tangled roots which grow above ground, forming these dense thickets. The cottages are built within the water pools. And the waters are teeming with fish. Very pretty.

The resort at dusk

This picture of the resort I sneaked in from Google, the one that had me chose Cherai :)

The sea

More mangrove pools within the resort

Evening, as the storm was brewing

Catching the glimmer of the setting sun

A posed for picture :)

On the way to the airport...the green was so pleasing to the eye that it seemed to call for a picture

Cochin airport proudly displays boards saying 'this airport is powered by the sun'. Was exciting to see the panels during takeoff.

The view from our room again, a quintessential gods own country picture :)

A trip that brought out the sheer joy of impulsive and indulgent !

16IFF 2018 , Jaipur International Film Festival Promo

Such a lovely moment.

Dhruva is right now at Jaipur, attending the 16IFF Jaipur Film Fest, and as I write this his film screening is likely on. He sent a message a couple of hours back saying they'd called him on stage and given him a certificate.

Now, within the couple of hours Girija sends me this promo video....and it has his film 'The End's'  poster in it !

Seema's Podcast in The Guardian

Wow Seema ! So proud of you.

Seema,with the Jaipur domestic workers union

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/audio/2018/may/02/fighting-india-gender-violence-seema-nair-lucy-lamble-small-changes-podcast

It was amazing and touching to listen to your journey in this interview capsule. Your choices, your commitment, the thinking and the articulation....the work that's gone in...and the difference you make.  All those little conversations we've  had came together to bring alive the deeper story.

We know it hasn't been an easy journey for you..... staying in those far off places by yourself, handling the conservative communities, exposure to the issues you see first hand, conquering your own fears, also from the husbands of those women, supporting those extreme situations. Each tougher than the other.

All admiration for what it must have taken, and continues to take.

The selfie above tells it's own wonderful story...again, so so proud of you.

Secret Superstar

A simple and sweet film, about a small town girl who dares to dream big.

As story, that's what it is, a fourteen year old girl from a conservative family, uneducated mother in a troubled and abusive marriage, controlling father.....the dream to become a famous singer.....finding an unlikely mentor....predictable end. 

It's yet been down wonderfully. The story, the characterizations, the deep conditioning, the relationships, the breakthroughs........they have an emotional tenor that connects into you.

It's all new faces, except for Aamir Khan who plays a small but pivotal role, and they each did so good, Insiya (Zaira Wasim), her mom (Meher Vij), and the easy to hate dad (Raj Arjun). One of my favourites was Chintan (Tirth Sharma) who was just adorable, as was that first crush with all it's innocence and charm. Songs were nice, again simple nice.

A worthwhile watch.

The Excruciating Opening of Blind Spots

This is a pretty personal story, and I did hesitate on whether it's a bit much to put up here. But then, it's what getting out of comfort zone is, it's what breaching boundary walls is, it's what being transparent is.......all stuff I talk about, I believe in.....so here goes.

I found myself in a rare, sulky mood one recent morning. I knew it was triggered by something Diksha had said or done (or not said or not done). No amount of reasoning with self could shake it off....in fact the more I resisted it, the more it seemed to settle.

One part of me understood, felt it was justified........but then there's times emotions do not listen to reason, and this was one of those.

I was in the grip of a low.

She tried talking... I responded with mumbles and shrugs; she probed... and I graduated to indecipherable words.

Evening she messaged, and I was still abrupt. She's like 'why are you being like this ma, what is wrong? I changed topic.

She says.."so you are choosing to ignore my question"?

I ignore that as well.

Bad behavior on my part.

Now this behavior, roles reversed.......... I would have been livid. (I would have felt snubbed....I'd have been thinking... 'I'm trying to talk, I'm trying to find out, I'm making an effort.....and you're just being stuck up')

And there came my lesson.

She handled it so differently. She dropped asking. She instead pulled two rabbits from the hat. She very gently, over the evening had me into one, and then another activity that we do together...stuff I so love doing with her.

So subtly and beautifully done.

Left me with a huge lesson learnt. That there's spaces I have double standards. And that's been a blind spot for a long long time. If there's one thing I couldn't stand it was 'double standards' and I would have never believed I had them.

A painful seeing......has taken me years to admit....but well....the time had come.

Deech.....for having shown me that mirror. Thanks.

Self awareness is such a dynamic process, and no easy one (A nice tool to understanding blind spots - The Johari Window). An open mind...feedback...insights and it can be a nice journey, albeit adventurous too :)

On May Day

Yet as relevant.....maybe even more so !