Desert Spring

The third and final series from the trip to Rajasthan.

The day after our desert sunset evening, I was up real early, and I caught sight of this brilliant sunrise right from our tent

And I walked on outside the camp to catch an only sunrise picture and the quiet and austere beauty of it was an experience I still hold 

In Rajasthan, you see not just pigeons but wild peacocks too....look at how many peacocks flew in to feast on dinner crumbs

Evening they had a dance performance, Jashne Jaisalmer, a folk dance with accompaniment of local musical instruments like the morchang and the dholak, which was so rustic and lovely. 

This is queen harish, and she (he) is a semi finalist in 'India's Got Talent'. And it was amazing how she involved every single person in the audience, and how that enabled a bunch of people (dhruva and diksha included) to sit around together  sharing stories till late at night.

That's him in full flow, (I say him because after the event he came and sat around with folks, and diksha was like, it's amazing, he's actually a handsome looking guy), and the two girls ( gypsy living is a part of life here, and not just a costume) accompanying were so graceful and sensual.... and as brilliant. 

That's Diksha on stage with the group

On return from my sunrise walk, outside the camp there was this guy with a jeep offering a ride on the sand dunes. That put me into a quandry as the kids were yet asleep...... and plan was to head out soon after breakfast. I couldn't figure if it makes sense to do it without them.........and then I did :) 

This was on the ride

This was chai stop.....and it's so close to Pakistan, that you see the influence in the dress. The men are in pathan suits.

The jeep ride on the dunes is like a roller coaster ride without a seat belt........ came back bruised and happy.

And yet again the realization, to do what you want notwithstanding constraints.......even like needing company, and what it looks like to others. In fact got a thumbs up from two groups of people, which was a nice and almost embarrassing surprise. Then again, I was glad for what it said too...do what your heart tells you, the enthusiasm and joy for life is for you to experience 

Mahaan

Here's another story:

Along the bottom of the river Ganges lived a village of creatures whose way of life was to cling tightly to the rocks on the river bed, and to resist the current of the river. One of them 'Siddharth the adventurous' got tired of clinging. The monotony wearied him. He decided to place his trust in the current and allow it to take him where it would.

His parents and friends cautioned him about the current. "It will smash you against the rocks and kill you". But Siddharth did not heed them...and let go. Immediately he stumbled and then was tossed against the hard rocks...which only strengthened Siddhart's resolve not to cling again.

In time, the current lifted him free from the bottom and he got bruised and hurt no more. The clinging creatures saw him and marvelled at him, hailing him as 'Mahaan -the great'.

Siddharth, swaying in the current said, "I am no greater than any of you. Dare to let go and the river will lift you free and you will discover your true worth". The creatures still clinging, cried "Mahaan!". Siddharth flowed past, leaving the creatures to cling and make legends of a Mahaan.

The story reminded me  'Jonathan Livingston Seagull'  an old time favorite.

The Lost Key

I love stories, and the other day I chanced upon a book with some wonderful single page stories. Here's one:

A neighbour found Nasruddin on his hands and knees near a lamppost, searching for something. The neighbour asked, "what are you searching for?"

"My key"

Now, both men got on their knees to search. After a while the neighbour asked, "where did you lose it?"

"At home"

"Good Lord, then why are you searching here?"

"hmmm.....because it is bright here".

So...Do you end up searching for solutions where it is convenient, rather than where you actually need to look for them........how serious are you about solving your problems?

Almost like 'Manna'

I know that's a quirky title, but you'll get it when you read.

My other option for title was 'what happens when you walk with a foodie'. I've been doing my walks with Amit for a while now, and he comes up with this fine idea. He's like, 'smitha akka, tomorrow let's walk to the metro station (which is 2.5 kms from home), take the metro, go to cubbon park, walk again, and then I'll take you to this masala dosa place. You have to experience it.'

Cubbon park, and masala dosa.....and I was in. We got Swaroop also to join, and by next morning a couple more of his friends also got roped in.

As the plan starts to take shape, he tells me about the place. He says....it's a quaint old place, like it's just always been there, no one knows how old it is. There's a queue for the food, a longer queue for if you want the masala dosa, and a smaller one for the other stuff they have, which is idli and kaali dosa and pulau. That's full menu. And what's more, you get only half a masala dosa, you can't even order more. Sounded intriguing enough, and he's like 'be prepared, it's not any fancy place'.

Inspite of all the preparation, it took us so by surprise, actually shock is closer to truth. For one, I couldn't even see the eatery anywhere, no board, no building... nothing, all I could see was the queue. In fact it felt like walking into a temple, the whole place was very temple like (it is in temple grounds), idols everywhere, people praying.

Swaroop almost backed off in fact, like after seeing the queue. He tried saying let's do the small queue, but Amit had his mind set on the legendary masala dosa you see...so long queue it was. That's Chimpy, Amit's friend, at the end of the queue.

That's the place, a small, fairly dilapitated shack between these two huge peepal trees

This is the entrance, and it's almost hard to believe, apart from how it looks (will reserve any further adjectives), it's like bordering on some crazy sort of classism.......the ones who want masala dosa get to go in, and the others of the smaller queue, eat out on a little bench which seats six.

It boasts two dingy rooms, with a stacked capacity of about twenty. No tables, just old benches against the wall. They'll first come and give you a leaf plate with a banana leaf on it, and you're sitting there holding it till he comes, and then he serves per his order. You only get to say yes or no. Idli, pulao, kaali dosa, and then after a further twenty minute wait, the famed 'half masala dosa'.

And we got the smaller room. Did I mention it felt like a temple before...well, here it was more like pujari's house kinds. It's cluttered not just on the walls but everywhere, with huge dishes for the idlis and sambar and buckets for the chutney. It's got zero ventilation, it's hot and sweaty...... So much so I forgot to take a picture of the masala dosa, even the half of it.

That's Siddappa, the owner, the one who's perched on a platform. He's known to be pretty snappy, and true to reputation, we see atleast two guys face his ire. One for sitting near the idols (right corner, but there is no other place to sit) and one I think for trying to break the queue.

He has this amazing system. You eat, wash your hands from a drum....go to him, (he's sitting way outside), he has pieces of old newspaper with which you wipe your hand, and you tell him what you ate and pay him there, (he does not even cross check) and he's sitting with this big cash stack right there. He was as quaint and interesting as the place.

It's temple grounds so there's this Hanuman idol right there, and as you're in the queue, there are the regular temple visitors coming in for prayer too. Hard to explain the feel of that experience. 

That's Amit, Swaroop and me after about an hour of waiting. we couldn't believe we'd stuck it out. Swaroop right from the beginning, and me somewhere half way in, essentially after hearing that there was no coffee. Amit I don't think had even a moment of doubt. That's commitment to food.

This tree, and some idols at its base (again snakes) is the main temple I think, lots of people coming there for prayers

                              

That's the place, and there are all these idols there, all snake idols, the naga devata idol kinds. And those six people you see to the far left. They are the lesser mortals who didn't want masala dosa, thats where they get to sit and eat. In fact Swaroop pleaded some sanity saying let's do atleast that smaller queue, but Amit was clear...only masala dosa.

                                       

It's hard to believe how the place works. The foods good, the dosa was good, the pulau was brilliant,(I took two servings so early in the morning), the idly was decent,  but then I thought the dosa at our local bandi behind home was way better.... and idly, I for sure think vijji aunty's idlis are way way better, so I don't know what about this place makes it work like this. 

The only explanation that fit is that there is some energy at work there.  It felt like going to a temple and then paying for the prasaadam. My faith in 'sthana balam' definitely grew stronger.

Amit, dosa and idly I don't know...but an intriguing and fascinating experience it sure was :)

Closure

I've been writing a few posts on closure over the last month. Yesterday was yet again a closure, a closure of one of the most, no, the most, intense courses I've ever done. Pretty literally a one year journey into oneself. 

What propelled me to join the BSIC course, (Basic Skills in Counselling) is an innate interest in people.......plus maybe some kind of a lofty ideal of being able to enable clarity and joy. Also a native interest in psychology, human behavior, self awareness and such. Little did I know that to learn how to do counselling and therapy one would need to parallely go through an intensive and long term process of therapy oneself. 

It is said that unless the counsellor is self actualized, how can she (he) self actualize the client. 

"If there were indeed such a thing as complete self actualization, what is (facts) and what ought to be (values) would fuse - our authentic self would match our value and there would be no more conflict"  - Becoming Naturally Therapeutic 

So you can imagine the process...it pretty much rips through you. And this was something each of the twelve of us who journeyed the year committed ourselves to. And what a deep and intense journey that was. You get challenged from every side, and sure, also held and supported from every side, but there's no taking away the tremendous churn it creates. At one time the most difficult, and the most fulfilling of experiences and learnings.

It's about being inner directed, and nicely described in 'Becoming Naturally Therapeutic'by Jaquelyn Small:

• Break old structures and try new behaviors 
• Personal growth comes from personal interactions, not individually
• Do away with the self consciousness of the adolescent in you (move away from everything happens because of me)
• Learn to know and accept your strengths....and your limitations
• Within the above boundaries exploit your potential to the best
• Life is a series of choices (growth or regression). Make choices for growth
• Listen to your natural impulses, your intuition
• Be fully alive, and enjoy living
• Find challenges in life
• Develop stress hardiness, so that your coping is transformational rather than regressive
• Balance your development in all the planes.....mental, physical, emotional and spiritual

If I started to write in depth, I think I'd write a book :)

There's a cohesion and rigour to the structure of the course that's mind blowing....the two words I'm left with are 'beautiful' and 'intense'

Beyond the regular course content done through the year, we had weekly individual sessions of personal counselling (around forty sessions) ten weeks of process group (which has intriguing objectives like making the invisible visible, enacting the withheld, owning the disowned) my first such experience and it was fascinating, then a personal 'transactional analysis', which is done through a questionnaire consisting of 56 unbelievably incisive questions, which are then analysed by a TA expert, and learning on spirituality and counselling from an expert who has spent twenty years working on body, mind and spirit connect, which was almost transcendental in depth. 

A whole year of this and it sure has it's impact. .......you know yourself like never before, and not just know yourself, you find you've undergone a metamorphosis.  And now it's all you....there is no karma, no childhood issues, no genetics, no pointing fingers......no nothing. You have full ownership for your life. In the here and now. Self awareness at levels I hadn't dreamt of. Very powerful....scary too....but fundamentally empowering.

Now you'd get why this closure could have been intense.

That's all twelve of us in a groupie:

L to R, sitting Fariha and Monica and standing Kshitij, Shweta, Meby, Thomas, Malini, Suma, Asha, Preethi, me and Saurabh

This one's with Sharada (right front)  Gayatri and Vinitha,(behind her), our dearest facilitators for the year 

This is outside Parivarthan

After that intense and heavy closure, we went out for a much needed cheers, to this place most aptly called 'hangover' :)

To the entire team at Parivarthan......Sharada, Gayatri, Vinitha, Malini, Shabnam, Manish, Veenal, Snehal, Padma, Sophie, and Leo ........through that ten minutes of absolute spellbound silence when we closed ........... when there wasn't a dry eye in the room......it was our gratitude that overflowed.

Google Maps - Huge Thanks

Until I got to Bangalore, I'd hardly used GPS. Once here, I found myself hooked...In fact I was fully dependent on it. I needed it to get from anywhere to anywhere, starting from day one when we drove into Bangalore and had to find our own house. Day two when I needed to find my office, and then just on and on..... until even yesterday when I went to 'Raintree' with Vijji aunty.

It's amazing how much I've used it. So many places I'd drive off to at all times of day or night, just on the assurance of the GPS. Coming to think of it, it's been the same phone, same GPS, all of three years. If I'm dealing with a lot of closures here, guess this is yet another.

And what I love about Google Maps is that it's so sweet and patient...never critical...... you take a wrong turn, and it won't tell....... it'll gently reset itself to still get you to your destination in the best possible way.

It tells you your options, tells you when traffic is bad, tells you how much longer.......it always gives you the choice.

Sure there have been times it has let me down. I remember this one time, it was late at night, I'd dropped a friend off at some distant place and for some weird reason my GPS went nuts. It actually took me in circles, big enough circles for me to not even have realized it until the third time, by which time I was close to tears....... looking at it from here it seems funny, but at that point it was anything but.

It might have done that a few times, but then am I going to be looking at that occasional time when it went wrong, or all those times it did right. Lesson there :)

Once back in Hyd I don't see myself using it at all........ but for having used it so extensively during my stay in Bangalore, I'm right now so full gratitude and thanks.

Crossing the awareness threshold

From Seth

Crossing the awareness threshold

The blockchain, game theory, float tanks, turmeric, Justin Trudeau, Joi Ito, dal fry, thermite, the Corbomite Maneuver... these are all notions (people, ideas, technologies, foods) that you may or may not be aware of or have engaged with.

There's a path: 

Unaware
Aware
Categorized
Have an opinion
Experienced
Have a new opinion
Have shared that opinion and are thus locked in

It's pretty clear that most the world is unaware of you and your work.

Once someone becomes aware of it, they'll probably leave it at that. "Oh." Because we're busy. And afraid of the new, because it often causes us to change our minds, which is frightening and difficult.

But sometimes, the culture or our work gives us no choice but to engage. We begin by putting this new thing into a category, so we know what to do with it, how to store the concept. Often, that's immediately followed by forming an opinion.

It's a huge leap, then, to go from, "Yuck, they make protein bars out of crickets," to, "I am going to try one."

After an experience, it's possible for a new opinion to be formed. But we like to be right, so that first opinion often sticks around.

And finally, seven steps in, it's possible that the word will spread, that awareness will be shared, that we'll tell someone else. And so the awareness barrier is crossed again, and the idea spreads, and opinions are truly locked in.

Some of these stages happen in clumps. Sometimes they take months or years to occur. How much time passed between the day you became aware that hockey was a spectator sport and the first time you went to a game?

We benefit when we're aware of how our idea will work its way through all seven stages, and cognizant that the process is different depending on the category, the culture and the people we're engaging with. Do it on purpose.

The Sculptor

This is a little story I came across the other day:

A gentleman saw a sculptor busy sculpting an idol of a deity, near a temple under construction.  And he notices a similar idol nearby. Close by he sees one pedestal on which the deity would sit. He curiously asked.."Why are you making two idols, I see only one pedestal" 

The sculptor said "I need only one, but the first one got damaged when I was just completing it" 

The gentleman went around the finished idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol," said the sculptor, still busy with his work.

"Are you going to install the idol on that twenty foot high pedestal?" inquired the tourist. "Yes" said the sculptor. "What, at such a height, who would ever know there is a scratch" exclaimed the gentleman.

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the tourist, smiled and said "I will"

A moral that's nice to hear ......'excellence' is a drive from the inside, not the outside.

Angana, at Raintree

This was another Vijji kind of outing. A group of her friends were having a Chettinad saree sale. 

The story behind the sale is what really caught my attention. These ladies, as a group are funding the education of fifteen underprivileged girls, through their higher education, with a couple of students who are even studying medicine. The money for the purpose is raised through a sale of Chettinad sarees once a year. All these ladies are from Chettinad you see.

Another factor that had me piqued was that this group had gotten to know each other as followers of Nityananda. They were like his core group years back when he'd just started, and I've heard of some brilliant stories from then. And while there have been disruptions there, they still swear by him and say that he is their guru. That can be a whole different conversation I guess. Prabha, reserving time with you for this next time.

That's them, and not to miss all of them draped in such pretty chettinad sarees. We of course bought too :)

A picture of the room, it was nicely done but I couldn't get a better picture

The address itself was a story. The sale was being held at Raintree, and vijji aunty made it sound like anybody in Bangalore would know the what and where of Raintree. We get till Sankey Road and then find that no one there has heard of Raintree. 

So we get on GPS, and I'm following directions, and at one point it says you are at your destination. I saw nothing. I had Windsor Manor on my right and a big tall wall on my left. And I couldn't believe my gps could do this. A couple calls later we realize that this is a house opposite Windsor Manor that actually uses that private bridge across the road. It was a wow experience even driving across it. Not because it's Windsor Manor, but because that bridge for some reason is etched in memory from a silent movie from long ago 'pushpaka vimanam'. Strange associations.

I was concerned about parking space, and this was the ground of the house

The house itself was stunning... a relic of old Bangalore... simply beautiful 

The Angana group....as I said that day, there's a great energy in that room....in essence, in your group. Good luck and keep the wonderful work going !!!

Inshallah, I'll be back next year, even to be that miniscule part of your initiative...and ofcourse for more chettinad sarees :)

Walking in Kasturi Nagar

My option for a walk was to either walk within the apartment complex, which is also nice and wide, or to move out and explore the colony.

I thought I'd try the colony ( spoilt by lalbagh I guess.....can't imagine myself going round and round a building :)

I realized out has it's issues too.....noise, smoke, traffic....but as I did it a few days, I started to find ways to work around those issues and have started to quite like it. Works well for my one month jaunt for sure.

The experience in pictures:

That's Dilip, my second day discovery. Ten days in and I now know he's from Jolarpet, his brother and he do it together, he plans to have a website, and that he has learnt the recipes from an ayurvedic guru in his village. He has three kinds of combinations each day. The ones I know...amla and curry leaves, chicory leaves, mixed sprout juice or beetroot and honey. Very interesting, I'm now hooked to ending my walk with a beetroot and honey juice.

That's misty...a beautiful golden retriever. She's so friendly and so mellow, she doesn't even need a leash.....and I really like how comfortable she is with the street dogs too

That's Misty's owner...misty doesn't like walking at all, and as you can see, she'll just sit wherever, and then he has to coax her into walking again

That's for my bougainvillea fondness

A lot of Bangalore's parks now have this work out equipment, with free access to public, and it's really popular.

A sight that caught our attention ( Amit has started walking with me when he can, and he's a restaurateur and a hard core foodie to boot :) . It's food being cooked in an empty plot, for free distribution at the masjid, it's apparently done each Friday

That's another doggy on the way, Bruno....as you can see, very handsome, but more curious and ferocious

That's one of my chosen walking streets...wide and green

That's Tommy, the erneelu (coconut water) seller's dog...very friendly....I love how he plays with the kids as they get ready for school

These are over the last ten days I've been here....enough to make a walk interesting, right!

Bengaluru Santhe

The Bengaluru Santhe is this lovely initiative by the Bangalore Metro Rail Corporation. An innovative use of the space beneath the metro line to provide market space for rural artisans and craftsmen. And occasionally there are other similar traditional exhibitions too, and one such that we went to was a women's entrepreneurship weekend.

They have two such locations in the city. One at MG Road and one at Old Madras Road.

Totally alongside the metro line. That's vijji aunty who very sweetly posed for me

That's her with Usha, and that's Usha's stall... Divya Angara. She's the reason we even went, she rented a stall there and she has some exclusive hand picked traditional sarees. Yes, I ended up buying too...hard to resist the ethnic ones :)

Congratulations on the stall Usha..and I really hope you continue to keep it. 

A small quadrangle in between

That's Manasa, she was so cute, and so full of life...and had pretty bandini sarees too.  She'd come all the way from kutch for this event, and by herself too. Quite gutsy I thought..... I was totally impressed. To the question of how it all adds up, as we didn't see much of a crowd and she'd come all the way just for these two days, she said she'd started on her own just an year back, and she's still figuring her way around. Wishing her luck...and I very generously invited her to Hyderabad for Shilparamam :)

Loved the old domed masjid in the backdrop

Ended the evening with some nice coffee and (not so nice) artikai bhajjis. It was a nice evening out...thanks Usha and Vijji :)

Musings .....What's a Stop Gap

What's a stop gap? By common parlance, guess it's spaces in between, a temporary arrangement kinds.

Why the thought?

It's because I'm currently in what can conventionally be called 'stop gap'. I've moved from Bangalore back to Hyd....yet, I'm currently back in Bangalore, for a month to complete my course. And considering my home's shifted (for logistical reasons), I'm in alternate accommodation for the month.

    A tree outside my present balcony

   A closer look....how pretty is that thingy, be it the fruit or the seed

The first two days here felt very like stop gap. I found myself wondering...I'm out of my home....neither in Hyd, what on earth am I doing here.... in fact the word 'limbo' came to mind. And I actually found myself slipping into low space. (and this inspite of having my uncle, aunt and cousins in the same building, making the space so like home, and so comfortable and easy for me)  

That lasted about two days. And then I started to see things differently.....it was a choice, and a choice that had fit so well too.

And then the more abstract realization. This is the present. A present that's forever. How can that be stop gap.

The feeling I was experiencing was like being back in college days...in hostel. No house to run, no children needing looking after, no garden to be tended, no formal work, no grocery shopping, no managing people, no bills to be paid, no timings.........it was all about course work and then the best part.....I could do just what I wanted to.

It was just so liberating.

The perspective shifted. It went onto...I'll likely never have this kind of fully befikar space again....and from one end of the spectrum I went to the other. And it's been so much fun since.

Life's a lot about the lens you're viewing it from :)