Mom's Letter in DC Today

When I got to Hyd the day before, almost the very first thing my mom spoke about is one Wilson getting the Magsaysay award for his immense work against manual scavenging. She seemed visibly impacted and went into some of the stories from him she'd read about.

And then I see this in today's paper: (Sukrutha is her :)

The grammar is skewed and the editor missed out a line where she'd spoken about basic human dignity, but the fact that she felt strongly enough to shoot off a letter to the editor (and neither my dad or I even knew). In fact we didn't get the newspaper today for some reason, and I just happened to pick it up from a coffee shop I'd visited this morning. So so glad I did.

And then I saw also the difference between knowing something theoretically and having experienced it personally......she was telling me about when and how manual scavenging was a way of life when they were young, which is why she could feel for what Wilson had accomplished.

And another thing she could recall was how back then, the only attire for girls was lehenga jacket or lehenga odni, and those who dared to wear the salwar were teased saying 'why are you dressing like the metrani ( which was the manual scavenger community). That's how biased and racist or casteist our society was (or is? ) . 

Another Salute Wilson, your effort and accomplishment is deeply felt indeed!

Chapter 2 Verse 47 - A Corollary

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि

Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani

While we understand the 'Detachment' aspect of this, does it mean we act without expectations?

Surely not. Why would we do anything at all without expectations? Why would we even want to do it? It has to be giving you something...... also, where would the enthusiasm and exuberance come from without the 'want' or the 'expectation'. 

If Arjuna lifts that bow and shoots, it's because he wants the arrow to hit the enemy, he expects it to hit the enemy. If I get into a cab, I want to go some place, I expect that the driver drive me safe to my destination. If I write in here, it's because I want you to read, because I expect that you read.

But what space do the 'want' or 'expectation' sit in? Do you own them, or do they own you ?

That I think is the defining question.

To be able to 'want' and 'expect'........have the energy and effort to do.....but the ability to take the happening or non happening of the occurrence in one's stride. Not let it take you over, or break you.

Guess that's also why it's so aspirational. 

LalBagh Yet Again

I did a walk at Lalbagh.....and this after a few months. It made me realize two things:

One, that you need to be at peace, to do things which add to that peace..... a paradox kinds :)

Second, that a walk, especially in such pretty surroundings, is so beautiful .....visually, physically, mentally.....experientially...........that, it kind of slows you down.....helps you create that pause. Then you find yourself wondering why you don't do it more often. Then the aha..... it's one of those wants that just whispers to you, and so, is easy to ignore. We need to learn to listen to those whispers :)

I decided to do a mindful walk....a fully present walk.

The walk in pictures:

A cluster of trees in the middle of the lake... with so many exotic birds. I also love to catch birds in flight :)

Noticed the cycle stand at the entrance for the very first time

A lone and happy Pelican

Well....just trees 

The trees made prettier :)

A pretty pond filled with lotus

More lotuses

More pelicans, they are my favorite there, as they always remind me of childhood story books 

A kid in full on posing mode

This was on way back home, the kids all set for early morning cricket were sweet enough to pose and smile for me :)

The moment I stopped to take a pic, this cow which was quietly eating from the basket, turned and came to me for food. She was fortunately gentle enough to turn back when i said i had nothing for her :)

My regular vegetable bandi, she sweetly turned and smiled for me. Luckily her husband wasn't there (he's a grouch :)

At the entrance to our house....I'd never noticed how many spider lilies were in bloom, and the traveler tree behind makes such a pretty backdrop

As you can see, mindful walking surely helps observe more :)

What have we become? (And what are we becoming?)

From Seth

Every day, we change. We move (slowly) toward the person we'll end up being.

Not just us, but our organizations. Our political systems. Our culture.

Are you more generous than the you of five or ten years ago? More confident? More willing to explore?

Have you become more brittle? Selfish? Afraid?

Grumpy and bitter isn't a place we begin. It's a place we end up.

Do we intentionally choose the optimistic path? Are we eagerly more open to change and possibility?

Every day we make the hard decisions that build a culture, an organization, a life.

Since yesterday, since last week, since you were twelve, have you been making deposits or withdrawals from the circles of supporters around you?

People don't become selfish, hateful and afraid all at once. They do it gradually.

When we see the dystopian worlds depicted in movies and books, are we closer to those outcomes than a generation ago? Do we find ourselves taking actions that make our conversations more considered, our arguments more informed, our engagements more civil? Or precisely the opposite, because it's easier?

Your brand, your company, your community: it has so much, is it still playing the short game? 

When your great-grandfather arrives by time machine, what will you show him? What have you built, what are you building? When your great-grandchildren remember the choices we made, at a moment when we actually had a choice, what will they remember?

We are always becoming, and we can always make the choice to start becoming something else, if we care.

AuRevoir to SELCO

Today brings to end one of my most cherished and deeply enriching journeys of my work life....no actually, even in life itself. 

The decision to join SELCO, was at one time the most spontaneous, and I guess courageous steps I've taken,  as it was the quintessential stepping out of comfort zone moment.

It started when I was comfortably ensconced in my job at Google. One (well) fated day, I attended a talk  by Harish in one of the Google speaker sessions. His passion, commitment,and statement that 'forty percent of India is not even connected to the grid', touched me somewhere deep. And the seed was sown.

When I started to talk about it to friends and family, they were like, 'kya selco selco rut rakhi hai, its not easy, you don't know what kind of place it is, how the work will be.... if you have to go, just go on a sabbatical and try, but don't quit'. 

The want stayed. Then the usual conflict...want to do it, but all reason says 'no'. Agreed I knew only the romantic part of the story, 'solar energy for the underserved', but guess that's where taking the plunge comes in.

And here is where a conversation with a friend comes to mind, he quoted Brucelee ' when you go into a fight, you can't let bruises and broken bones stop you'. And that, I believe, was the defining moment.

I called Harish, and I'm proud of that moment when I put everything at stake and said ' Harish, I want to work with you, give me a role....... any role......any salary.... I'll quit and come'.

And that's how it began........living shifted from Hyderabad to Bangalore, pay shifted from grand to basic, offsites shifted from LasVegas to Udipi, travel shifted from international flying to local buses, fancy hotels to rural lodges, cutting edge technology to single bulb lighting systems.........and I'm happy to say...... it's one of the best decisions I could have taken.

Also, through this experience, the real significance of 'know what you want' got sorted. The experience of living in 'what you want' is what so fulfills you as an individual, that nothing seems like stress or hard work, no issue or problem too big. You seem to then be equipped with an abundance of energy and love, and you actually become a better...more complete, individual, not just within but also without.

And there's bonus...once your mind can think and experience at that level of clarity, it's already an acquired trait....before you even know it, life has changed for you. Each thing you do is just that much more clear, decisive, focused, energized and fulfilling. (allowing for the mistakes and the learnings ofcourse :)

A few pictures to relive the experience:

Our office at Dharwad

Kariyamannagrahara, a slum in Bangalore. It's a slum of 600 shacks, with no infrastructure of any kind, no electricity, no water, no bathrooms, and ironically situated plumb in the middle of the hitech part of the city. 

You can see the small solar panels on the poles.

In the Kariyamannagrahara Slum. We had an entrepreneur here, Kumar, whose pan shop we extended to make into a small integrated energy center, from where he would charge and supply batteries on hire to the residents of the slum at Rs.8 for 4 hours of light. He also had a mini theater with a solar projector, and charge Rs.10 for adults and Rs.5 for children for a movie twice a week. He was also our pilot for a solar refrigerator. 

Another slum we worked with. This one had about 50 shacks, and it was pretty much all daily labour. We started a energy center there and tied up with an education based ngo to hold classes for the children and women during the evenings.

One of our solar sewing machine entrepreneurs, they are a tailoring couple. This was a small village of about four thousand I think. I remember they said that practically all the youngsters of the village had migrated into cities, and that had impacted their tailoring business badly. So they could get large contracts from the nearest town provided they could meet dead lines, and it's for that we did the solarization of their existing sewing machines.

Yet another village not connected to the grid. The solar panel is seen above the hut. This is a hamlet of about thirty houses, high in the hills. Their houses are so dark on the inside even during the day, that I couldn't imagine what it would be like at night. One of the residents we spoke to said, 'now I can see what I am eating'.

A petty shop on a highway, she was one of our solar fridge entrepreneurs. I remember she had so many questions, smart lady she was for sure. She'd said the highway authorities could ask them to vacate anytime, and what then would she do with the fridge and the loan. It's for her that we incorporated a buy back arrangement in case of such crisis.

This is Deshpande trust in Belgaum, a center for aids affected children. I'm talking to this really smart lady who helps run the center, must have been about thirty years old, and we're sitting and talking about AIDS and the stigma and difficulties, and then after the whole discussion, she tells me that she is aids affected too. One of my most lost for words moments. 

At Tiptur, a dhabha where we did biogas cook stoves. This was an amusing episode, where i ask this dhabha owner, how many customers he might have per day, and he says "kaise patha chalega madam, kaise ginenge, phir bhi ......kaisa behuda sawaal hai wo" :)

A picture which, to me, symbolizes the Entrepreneur Fund Project, one of my most fulfilling projects ever. We conceptualized, struggled,  innovated and implemented fifty micro solar entrepreneurs in Karnataka, Bihar and Orissa. Micro, meaning from Rs.20,000 to Rs.3,00,00 of loan at interest rates below 5% and repayments matched to inflows. 

And I'm so happy to note that the concept has now been scaled through the banking system, with a start with Syndicate Bank. 

This was Ganesh mess, our favorite lunch time joint near office, hot paratas, dal, and a sabji of his choice, all at Rs.40.

And this was our daily supply of dessert, on the walk back from Ganesh mess, we'd buy mysore pak for Rs.5. I know it sounds a little stretched, but I guess it epitomizes our identification with our role, our company and our work.

Today, after I left office, I got this message on what's app: ' You can try leaving SELCO, but SELCO will never leave you'. That was the best possible farewell. 

Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength

A write up from Lifehack which so well resonated :

             

            

"There was a time when I would never shed a tear. There was a time when I would never let on that I felt fear. If something bad in life happened, I would show my face with the biggest smile, and nobody would know about it. If they did, nobody would realize that it even bothered me. I would be that bubbly, outgoing personality that everyone knew. I was tough. No one and nothing could break me. I didn’t need any one and I could look after myself. Why? Because I was strong. Nowadays, I look back at that girl I once was and realize just how wrong I was.

Pain. We have all felt it in some shape or form. There are two types of pain: physical and emotional. Both are completely different from each other yet so similar, both can leave us vulnerable.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Vulnerable

There are numerous ways we can be made vulnerable. For example, when you are going through something significant, like a break up, job loss or even a death? Everyone goes through these things. It’s a part of life. 

Fear. We all know this is the one factor that can stop us from achieving our goals. We read about it, we hear about it, and we know about it subconsciously. Why would we want to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there when we can just happily keep doing whatever it is that we are doing and be perfectly just fine. It’s comfortable, right?

Most of us have heard of the old sayings, 'Life begins at the end of your comfort zone', and, 'A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there'. However, take a moment and really think about this. Why would these be famous sayings if there wasn’t any truth to them? 

Dealing With Struggles

So, you just got fired, you just got dumped, or someone close to you has passed away. You don’t have to tell the world (every one you meet) your problems, but by the same token, you most certainly don’t have to hold it all in and suffer in silence. One of the best things about friendship is that true friends will be there for you. There are people out there that want to see you happy.

Vulnerability = Strength

I believe putting yourself out there, taking that leap, and showing vulnerability takes a lot more courage and strength than to keep quiet and do nothing. It is a sign of strength when you can accept that you are in pain and and are struggling to handle things.  It shows strength when you can swallow your pride and ask for help. It takes courage to open your heart and let someone in. 

Risk it! Put yourself out there, chase your dreams, and allow yourself to fall in love. Being vulnerable and stepping outside of your comfort zone could very well be the best thing you could ever do."

Chapter 2 Verse 47

Detachment, it seems, is also the quintessential significance of the well known chapter 2 verse 47 of the Bhagavad Gita

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि

Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani

Your prerogative is your action....let neither the consequence nor inaction be the driving force.

Considering the context, which is the battlefield when Krishna is responding to Arjuna's questions in going to war against his own people....it's commonly interpreted into a rather narrowed down definition of 'duty'.

But looked at from a wider lens, Karma, (Karmanye vadhikaraste) which the whole verse is centered on, is about 'action'; think Karmayogi ( not fate or destiny). Karma which is derived from the sanskrit word 'kri' which is 'to do'. And Yoga which is derived from 'yuj' which is to  'join' 'union' and by figurative extension 'skill' 'expertise'. So, it can read as 'doing with expertise, with completeness'.

A complete 'doing in the flow'.......doing and being... unconditionally and in the now. 

20 Things You Realize Only When It's Too Late

Chanced upon this write up of  'Things you realize only when it's too late' on Scoopwhoop. Sounded super cliched, yet I read.

I read, because I'm realizing that cliched is really not as dirty a word as it's made out to be. It's like Sutras. Deep stuff. Stuff from people who've lived and learnt. There's stuff we can learn from our own lives, but there's also loads of stuff we can learn from such others....some of life's biggest lessons. Some of these can trigger aha moments. I just picked a few I liked :)

1. Be yourself. How long will you pretend to be somebody you're not?

2. Forgive and forget. What's the point of grudges?



3. If it's not working out, let that person go.

4. If it means something to you, fight for it till the end.

5. Do what you want. You only regret the things you didn't do.

6. Hold on to friendships. People are the biggest currency we have.

7. Don't worry about others judging you. It's their problem, not yours.

8. Live your life, don't just exist. Do it today because you might not have tomorrow.

'Detachment' is not Indifference

'Detachment'.  What does it even mean? Why is it such an aspirational goal? Why is it so misunderstood? 

Because it sounds like a 'de-attachment', it's normally understood as a 'letting go off'. It's really not about letting go of life....not about giving up and sitting in the Himalayas, definitely not about giving up on the material world. 

It's also not about sitting in this space of nothing impacts me, not about giving up on 'emotions and joys'.

I think a lot of the ambiguity surrounding the word is because it gets mixed up with 'Indifference'. Being immune to what happens around you. 

Indifference is a killer. It makes you passive. You stop to care. And when you care little for yourself, how can you even care for the other. What you then do, you do as obligation, as duty. You become a bystander in your own life.

The concept kind of hit me during my Vipassana experience. Detachment encompasses within itself an ability to 'live life' and not to 'move away from life'. It's in fact about living life with love, excitement and exuberance ....but all unconditional.

To really live, to love, to want, to do, to act......and find joy in the process. Enjoy the process, enjoy the goal, enjoy the achievement........ but not let it's lack break us.

Paradoxically, detachment goes hand in hand with compassion. It's not just to care, but to care deeply..... deeply enough to live and let live. And remember, the process starts with you. When you are full, you give fully. It's an extremely empowering and liberating space.

I'm not saying it's possible to be there all the time...guess we'd be Buddha if we were. It's about a mindset.....to find the capacity and space within us. To create it as a sacred room, which we can enter at will. And once you know it and embrace it, you'll see it percolate into more and more space within you. And the times you are out of it become less compelling and less frequent. It becomes you and you become it.

It's paradoxically the deepest space of joy and freedom !

Ramayanam - A Dance Drama

Yesterday I did something unusual...I attended a dance drama. I went because Girija's daughter, Raagini, was dancing for the first time on stage. So, as you can imagine, I went with fairly basic expectations. And was I in for a huge surprise. 

It was a mind blowing event. They were enacting the Ramayana in dance drama form, and to say I watched mesmerized beginning to end, would be no exaggeration. I'm no connoisseur of dance, but the grace, the rhythm, the beauty and the skill of the dancers.....the singing......the music.....the compositions......the choreography.......was all of such high caliber, that it was almost like a spiritual experience.

The dancers, aged right from seventeen to forty, were all disciples of Smt. Gayatri Keshavan, who runs the Academy of Bharatanatyam and is herself a well known dancer with a strong dance lineage. I was left in total awe of what she had taught and enabled.

They started with the Mallari, a composition associated with the Nadaswaram, a high energy piece which kind of invokes the energy of the space and sets the momentum for the rest of the program.

The dance was set to the eka sloka ramayanam, which covers the whole of the Ramayanam in this one small slokam:

Poorvam Rama Thapovanadhi Gamanam
Hatva Mrigam Kanchanam
Vaidehi Haranam, Jataayu Maranam
Sugreeva Sambhashanam
Bali Nigrahanam, Samudra Tharanam
Lankapuri Dahanam,
Paschath Ravana Kumbhakarna Madanam
Ethat Ithi Ramayanam

And the choreography brought out each of those sequences with such clarity and elegance, that it held the entire audience spellbound. There was one sequence of Jataayu trying to rescue Sita and his slaying which was enacted or rather danced with such precision and expression that even thinking about it can bring back the goosebumps. So also the fight between Rama and Ravana. 

The third and concluding piece was the Tillana, a sequence with really intricate foot and head movements, beauty and art through the physical body, a pure visual treat.

Here are some pictures from the event:

That's Raagini in the center

Raagini again first on the left

This is like the finale scene

The entire troupe, and in center is Gayatri Keshavan and to her left is the chief guest, Poornima Gururaja, who is yet another renowned dancer and who currently also runs her own academy for dance. Her speech was one of the most authentic, touching, and inspiring ones I've heard. Kudos to her for picking up the essence of the event.

It was also really interesting how Ms Poornima in reference to a discussion on Ramayana, rather more specifically on Rama said " he has always been considered the maryada purushottam, the dharma purusha and is revered for always doing right....  however, we need to see that he did 'right ' only by his role, and not necessarily so in his personal life..... there needs to be a balance there... that is also a takeaway we need to see from the Ramayana". It was refreshing and impressive to hear this perspective in an otherwise fairly orthodox and conservative forum.

Also touching was how Ms.Gayatri Keshavan mentioned that it was her mother who had many years ago told her to do the Ramayana to the Ekasloka, and it was today she had fulfilled that desire. It was a deeply personal and intense moment that we were honored to have shared with her. 

Kudos & Congratulations to her, and the team for a magnificent performance!

And a special Congratulations to Raagini, proud of you girl !

Augmented Reality

We've been hearing of 'Pokemon Go' for a week now.....to put it not so mildly, it's a literal rage. One of those thingy's that just takes the world by storm so to say, especially those who have grown up with Pokemon. 

Listening to it was one thing.....but this moment, when Dhruva actually found a pokemon right on our carpet, in our drawing room, just made it so real.....and had me so completely creeped out, and intrigued at one time. Something walking around inside the house??!!??

As concept, it's a game built on whats called 'Augmented Reality'.  It's no longer just on your phone. These little thingy's are out there, in another dimension of reality :)

Just to give context to those uninitiated...Pokemon are these cute little pocket monsters, each with their own characteristics and at times evolutions, and this was a nintendo creation way back... close on twenty years... like when dhruva and diksha were still little. We still have a fairly large collection of the creatures. ( my favourite was Gengar, a ghost pokemon :).

The game has now evolved into these virtual pokemon which exist in the world outside. When I just couldn't comprehend, the analogy dhruva used to explain was..... they are like stray dogs just walking around the place, but virtual. 

The feeling of 'creeped out' was because there was this 'thingy' that was in our house. I was like...how can something that's not us, or ours, be walking around inside our house? Creepy no?

And 'intrigued' because it took me back to 'Autobiography of a Yogi', where Yogananda talks of how technology is what will open our mind to deeper realities. For instance telephone, cellphones, wifi are all concepts which make it easier, by the step, to understand and accept telepathy. It's man's evolution into the subtler realms.

So also seems this new concept of 'augmented reality' ....... one step closer to other dimensions of existence. Super fascinating !

Dhruva and Amit's trip to Europe

Dhruva gave us a run through of his trip through pictures yesterday. I tried...and tried to get him to write out his experience, but guess everyone doesn't like writing as much as I do :)

So, for the sake of posterity, I'm giving it a shot from listening to his narrative over the last few days. The trip covered Berlin, Prague, Brussels, Madrid and Paris. For a no itinerary, that was a lot of spontaneous travel..... made possible also because they were staying with friends or even friends of friends in each of those places. 

Berlin : At the Berlin Wall “Berlin is deep, it feels different... you can feel the post world war II history"

                      

At Lavanya and Christoff's place...Dhruva really liked how they had plants growing through every room of their house.

                           

This was also dhruva’s first exposure to LP records, and he couldn't believe how good they sounded. Christoff who is big into music has an amazing collection and not just to collect, but also listens to only LP. I was surprised to hear that a lot of people in Germany listen to LPs. 

They did the whole of Berlin on cycle. Apparently cycle is the most preferred means of transport there, and you see more cycles than cars on the streets; in fact Lavi and Christoff don't even own a car.  And you see cycle stands like this everywhere, where you can rent cycles by the hour too.

                                 

The Beer seems ubiquitous..with Lavi, Amit, Christoff, Busty and Marine

Prague:  "exquisitely beautiful...it has something of beauty around every corner.”

                     

They did the whole place by walk, hours and hours of walking. Lots of Sculptured Fountains and Gargoyles..... and ended the day with Absenthe, a local liquor which apparently has the highest alcohol content.

Madrid: “I'm definitely living in Madrid atleast two years of my life, at some point.” 

“Being in the 'Estadia Santiago Bernabeau' (home stadium of Real Madrid) was a goosebumpy experience..... my piligrimage" he said

                             

They stayed with Ceaser (Thezaar) an artist from Spain who spoke little English, and gave them a feel of total local flavour by taking them around Madrid, again lots and lots of walking......a chocolate bar, which serves only chocolate..... a ‘beer garden’, which serves only beer and no food.....and of course the Mohito. 

Brussels: “Though I’m a non believer, the cathedral at Brussels was an overwhelming and intense experience”

                      

They stayed at a village called Lenik with Upi and his Belgian girlfriend (forgot her name). Also had Geuzer, supposedly the best beer in the world, and in this place called ‘Inde Verzevering grote dorst’, which translates as ‘Insurance against the great thirst’.

Also Brussels had a lot of tintin structures and wall art apparently, which I found fascinating as that’s another strong association from my growing up days...way more than dhruva’s for sure. 

Yet another big event was attending the Rock Verta, a music festival which had two favourite bands ‘Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ and ‘Tame Impala’ playing, and which was attended in rain and slush by a crowd of over fifty thousand. In fact tickets to this were booked even before flight or visa was done :)

Paris: He said this was out of 'Before Sunset', the long walking, the cafe's, and the boat trip down the Seine viewing the Palais de Versailles, The Notre Dame and such.

A sort of finale was watching the Paris Iceland semi finals at the Eiffel tower, which was apparently spectacularly lit up after the win. 

                          

And true to purpose they did watch a lot of the Euro cup from the country that was playing...watch on street screens or local pubs and that was essence of their trip. 

Dhruva learnt how to say 'hello' and 'thanks' in all the languages there and told me some...I only remember 'denke' ( thanks in german)